Eva x
2nd January 1911
Happy New Year! Still having a great time at Millwards. Life is really good and I love my job so much.
Eva x
28th January 1911
Something awful happened today. A customer made a complaint against me. I love my job and I don’t want to loose it, I don’t think I did anything wrong. What happened was that a girl and her mother came into the shop to buy the girl a dress. She was my age I would have thought. Anyway the head assistant and I were helping them. The mother thought that she would look good in one and the girl liked another. The head assistant asked me to help put the dress on and when she was looking I started laughing. Not loudly, just to myself. She saw in the mirror and left in a bad mood.
Eva x
1st February 1911
As I thought, the girl told my boss that if he didn’t sack me then she would get her mother to close her account with Millwards. So he sacked me. She was the one in the bad mood it was nothing to do with me! I know I shouldn’t have laughed but I did. I still don’t think it is fair for me to be sacked. So now I am totally jobless and penniless. What am I going to do?
Eva x
4th February 1911
I now know what I am going to do, infact I have done it! I am no longer known as Eva Smith I am now called Daisy Renton. It was obvious that I wasn’t going to have any luck getting a job with a name like Eva so I thought that I would make a new start with a new name! Hopefully Daisy will have more luck than Eva. I am out to look for another job tomorrow. I am fed up of being lonely too. I have no friends, no husband, no one. Well Eva didn’t.
Daisy x
27th February 1911
Still no luck. I am getting desperate. I have no one. I am so lonely. What’s wrong with me?
Daisy x
11th March 1911
Daisy’s luck has started! I met a man tonight called Gerald. I was at the Palace Theatre Bar. He came over and started talking. I felt ill and he asked me what I had had to eat, I told him a good meal. He saw right through me and I explained that I had had nothing to eat and I had nowhere to live. I told him about loosing my job too. I told him that I was staying at a friend’s house and he dropped me off. He insisted that he would take me to the door, but of course there wasn’t one. So I had to tell him the truth about that too. He has given me a flat, which he was looking after for a friend. It is lovely. Clean and cosy. He gave me some housekeeping money and some money for food. He is coming back for a meal in two days…
Daisy x
5th September 1911
Gerald has finished with me. For the last six months it has been lovely. Someone to care for me, look out for me, love me. Now he’s gone. He said he was with someone else. It turns out Daisy Renton isn’t so lucky after all. There’s nowhere else to go and no one else to turn to. I can’t believe I could be so stupid to have fallen for him. I think I am going to go to the seaside for a while. I don’t know if I’ll comeback here again. I have told Gerald I don’t want his flat so I would have nowhere to live if I did come back. I just need to get away clear my head. The coast is the best place for that.
Daisy x
7th October 1911
I’m here by the coast. It is very beautiful. I have decided to go back and find someone else. Why should I run away? I can’t give up the little that I have ever had because of a man. He hurt me enough I don’t want to move because of him. I don’t have anywhere to go anyway. I will stay here another month and make sure that returning is really what I want to do. Besides I might have more luck when I get back.
Daisy x
9th November 1911
I returned a few days ago and I am so glad I did. I can’t believe my luck! Hopefully this will last longer. Anyway I met another man called Eric. I don’t know where he lives. Hopefully I will meet him again, I know I will, I think he is the one for me. I am glad I went away to clear my head. I came back as a different person. I am Daisy Renton now and eventually I really feel like I fit in with the new name. I can’t wait to meet him again…
Daisy x
23rd November 1911
I met him again! I knew he would be wonderful. Our relationship has begun, I hope. He likes his drink but I like him all the same. I am seeing him most nights and we talk about everything. He is so interested in everything that I do and I am interested in him. He bought dinner the other day and we had a wonderful evening. We go out together. I have never loved someone so much. I never want it to end…
Daisy x
18th February 1912
I haven’t written to you in ages. This is because life has been so great. I am still Daisy Renton and I am still with Eric, well was. See the thing is not only have I split up from Eric, but I am also pregnant with his child. I love him so much. We barely spent a day apart. Once I told him I was pregnant he didn’t want to know. He offered me money and I took it. He offered me more but when I asked him where it was from, it turned out to be stolen. So I refused anymore. I don’t know what I am going to do. Again. I think I will have to find an alternative solution to running away this time. After all I have a baby to think of. But I can’t, I can’t bring up a child alone. Why me? It’s always me. I can’t cope anymore. I t is rejection after rejection. I can’t go on living like this.
Daisy x
March 3rd 1912
Eric still hasn’t come aback and I am still pregnant. I have no money, no stable home, and no job. How can I deliver a baby into the world when I have nothing to offer? I don’t have anything to keep me going. How am I going to feed a baby too? There is no hope of having a job and a baby, so there is no point looking. All I need is money. But where am I going to get that?
Daisy x
March 17th 1912
I have only one hope. If this doesn’t work out then I don’t know what I am going to do. There is an organisation called Brumley women’s Charity Organisation. It gives money to needy women. I am a needy woman.
Daisy x
March 18th 1912
I went and I called myself Mrs Birling that was a big mistake. The woman at the head of the table was a lady who was vaguely familiar. As soon as she spoke I knew she was the woman in Millward’s, the mother of the girl who got me sacked! She was called Mrs Birling and she took no pity on me when I called myself her name. I lied too. They gave me no money and sent me away. I have nothing. What am I going to do? There’s only one realistic option left. I can’t bring a baby up how my life is now…
Daisy x
March 25th 1912
I can’t go on any longer. I tried to change. Even my name changed. It isn’t fair on my baby if I carry on its life and it isn’t fair on me if I carry on mine. By living I am hurting myself, putting myself though years more pain and rejection. I am going to end it now. Maybe then people like Eric and Gerald and especially Mrs Birling will see what they have done. Not forgetting Mr Birling and the girl that sacked me from Millwards. I am going to help my baby and of course myself, this is the easiest way…
Eva x
