First Time at Times Square

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First Time at Times Square

I never forget the first time when I visited the Times Square. The excitement I felt just as a small child may feel at an amusement park: excited, curious, and anxious to do and see absolutely everything.      

 The first thing impressed me was the smell of the Times Square. The ever changing smells of Times Square amaze me. I take a few short strides along the side walk and the smells of freshly cooked shish’ka’bobs being sold by a street vendor fills the air with a sweet fragrance of barbeque chicken. Suddenly, after a few more strides along the same wide stretch of sidewalk packed full of tourist, vendors and street performers, the air is now full of the smell of roasted peanuts, almonds, and cashews. However, not all of the smells are mouth watering. Most of the street corners have either huge round sewage drains, or rectangular ones with bars. Through the gaps and holes of these sewage drains seep such a fowl smelling odor that you soon forget any of the pleasant ones surrounding it. As I walked over one of the old odorous drains, hot steam flew up and out of it, right up my nostrils and triggered my gag reflexes.

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As we walk along, I stop to admire one of the many street performers along Times Square. His skin is covered from head to toe in a metallic silver paint. He is wearing a tight suit, also the same color as his skin and he is standing completely still. His eyes are close but mouth open slightly in an awkward smile. Both feet were firmly planted on the ground but with his left leg slightly bending. His right arm is also bended, with his hand resting on his right cheek and his left hand ...

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This is an effective description of the essay writer's impressions of the sights, sounds and smells of Times Square. It begins a little shakily, with some punctuation issues, unnecessary repetition and slips into the Past Tense but once the subject takes over the control of language and structure improves dramatically. 4 stars