“Oh John, she’s got a lot to think about at the moment with her exams, that position can wait a few months. Come on darling come help me with the dishes and we can catch up on things.” my Auntie said rescuing me yet again. My Auntie Irene was so lovely so laid back and it really felt like she understood me. “Don’t take any notice of your Uncle John wanting things done yesterday, you take your time with your choice of careers, you know there will always be a job for you in the accountancy business and you’re more than welcome to stay with us.” She said hugging me.
“I’m off to bed now, I don’t really want to have a discussion about careers tonight can you let them know please.” I said to my auntie.
“Okay, sweet dreams,” she said.
I sat on the edge of my bed feeling like my head was going to explode, all these voices in my head about: careers, nursing, accountancy, moving house, vets bills and TEENEY! Then I started to hate everyone downstairs for having a laugh and a drink while I yet again sobbed my heart out into my pillow.
Saturday a new day, phew. Off I went scruffy jeans, muddy boots and tatty jumper but over my shoulder my outfit, leather boots, dress jacket and new white jodhpurs for showing Teeney. We were going to the annual Durridge Bay Pony club show at the beach; I was going to enter her into best horse in hand. What a picture Teeney looked after two hours of grooming, plaiting and trimming. As we neared the show area Teeney seemed to carry herself better than ever before I was so proud as I entered the horsebox area to an outbreak of whinnies.
“Can you manage over there?” called a voice from an enormous horsebox.
“Actually could I tether my horse whilst I get changed? I said.
“You can get changed in the front of the horsebox I’ll watch the horse” said this man getting hold of Teeney’s bridle. What a horsebox these people had, it had a separate living area in the front and room for three horses behind (these people had money).
“There, do I look ok?” I said to the man.
“Mmm, your horse is very well turned out we could do with you at our stables” he said as he handed Teeney back and rushed off to meet a lady on her horse just finishing an event.
Well as you may well imagine I nearly dropped to the floor, did he say he wanted me at their stables? Was he offering me a job? Oh I must find out more. As I neared the event arena the speakers were announcing the winners and low and behold “in Second Place we have Lady Milburn on Gay Lady” and in went this horse the man had attended to earlier. My heart was in my mouth ‘Lady’ Milburn these people lived near Wooller I would die to get into their stables. Out of the arena came the winners.
“Come on Teeney quick lets go get a job,” I said excitedly holding her reigns a bit tighter to gee her up.
“Good morning I understand you have vacancies at your stables for grooms how do I go about applying for the position?” I boldly said even though I was shaking inside with excitement. “Well, young lady. What do you have to offer my stables?” she said in a very haughty voice looking Teeney up and down.
“I have two years of horse management experience and…”
Lady Milburn interrupted me “a very well presented horse for her age. See Jack my head groom he shouldn’t be long he’ll tell you what I expect from my grooms and if you’re still willing I’ll see you soon.”
“I see you’ve met the dragon,” said a voice from behind. I turned around to find the lad that helped me before.
“Hello, are you Lady Millburn’s head groom? I asked.
“Well, I am for now” he replied sounding a bit disgruntled.
“I need some information about becoming a groom in her stables: rules, regulations, expectations, lodgings and an address would be helpful” I had no sooner finished talking than he handed me a card.
“Just turn up when you want, pack lightly because you won’t be staying long, nobody does.” And off he walked. I still wasn’t deterred by his attitude. I knew I could make this career work for me.
“How did the Pony Club Show go? From that smile on your face I guess you won?” Asked my Mum as I entered the house.
“Well, I’ll tell you later after I’ve had a bathed and changed” I replied.
I was so excited about working in stables at last things were going my way for once. But how was I to tell my family about this career move? I was a bundle of nerves just thinking about it.
“Can I come in” my Mum tapped on the bathroom door. I leant over and unlocked the bathroom door. As my Mum reached up to the bathroom cabinet for something she picked up ‘the card’ with the stables address on it.
My heart was in my mouth but I took a deep breath and said “that’s my new career Mum, I met someone today and”
“You what! How could you? After all the time and effort your dad and I have put into choosing careers for you; not to mention your uncle, and this is what you go and do. Think again girl” she shouted. “You are not going to spoil this evening out with Irene and John, so you can stay in and have a good think about what you’ve just said” as she slammed the bathroom door behind her.
Ah, a welcome sound of the taxi peeping outside and the front door shutting as my parents went out. The phone ringing awoke me from my daydream of stable life.
“Hello, can I speak with Claire?” a distraught voice said.
“Speaking, who is this? I asked.
“Its John, John Petica. Your horse is down, and can’t get up can you come straight away, I’ve called the vets, and they’re on their way.”
I dropped the phone and started to run down the main road towards Red Row, not bothering to stop at the bus stop. I could barely breath for crying. I frantically waved my arms as a police car passed me; luckily they saw me and reversed.
“Can we help?” the concerned policeman asked.
“My horse, quick, Red Row.” I gasped as I clambered into the back seat of their car.
This drive seemed the longest drive of my life. As we entered the village I could see three men walking over the field, one of them was carrying a case.
“Stop, there!” I screamed to the policemen as I pointed over the field. I barely waited for the car to stop before: climbing out, running down the grass verge, squeezing through the fence and across the field towards the men. “Teeney, where is she? Is she ok?” I panted. Not one of the men looked at my face they all hung their heads. I burst into tears, my whole body shaking. John Petica (the land owner) put his arm on my shoulder and guided me down the hill as the other two men walked away. Hearing footsteps I turned to find the two policemen following us, John gestured to them with his arm as to say stay there. As we approached the brow of the hill I could see the brook and the fallen tree where I used to sit and talk to Teeney, and then I saw her, Teeney, lying motionless. Nothing could have prepared me for this time in my life. The lump in my throat made me feel like I was about to choke, and my eyes felt as though a thousand needles had stabbed them, the pain was so intense although I could not cry.
I froze, wishing the earth would open up and swallow me, actually wishing myself dead like Teeney just so I could be with her again.
I felt a hand caressing my own and turned round to find my friend Barbara (Johns Daughter) in tears, I flung my arms around her and cried rivers that didn’t seem to stop.
“Can I stay at yours tonight?” I sobbed into her shoulder.
“Of course you can,” she said without asking permission off her father. I can’t remember much of my overnight stay, only the morning. My Auntie Irene picked me up from Barbara’s and instead of going home we went to Alnwick, not one word was uttered on the journey. As we pulled up at the bus station my Aunt handed me an envelope. Inside was a card, ‘good luck in your new job’ then money fell out £500. I looked at her surprised.
“You go for it, if its what your hearts set on, I know you’ll do well. From here you can get a bus to Wooler. Don’t worry about home, I’m sorry to say this but your parents have disowned you, there exact words were ‘ what daughter? She died alongside that horse of hers’. So chin up girl you’ve got a job to go to, and keep in touch.” She said hugging me so tight. I smiled at her, this being the only emotion I could muster after yesterdays events.
“ Wooperton Hall please” I said as I boarded the bus.
“Would that be a return?” asked the bus driver.
“No, single please.” I replied.
“Claire, do you have a title for your personal essay yet?” asked the tutor. Oh no, everyone was looking at me; I looked down at some literature and one phrase jumped out at me.
‘If I could turn back time,’ I sighed.
