Halloween story

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On a dark November night I had accidentally taken the wrong bus home. The bus stopped at an abandoned big house. The bus driver kicked me out of the bus because it was the last stop. I had no money left to take a bus back and my phone had no signal. I got out of the bus and saw the big house in front of me. The house looked very old, some windows were broken, the stairway that leads to the door was broken also and there was old furniture in the porch. ‘’ Maybe I’ll find something that can help me get back home’’ is what I thought as I got up the stairs. I went up step by step till I reached the front door. As I reached out to open the door, it suddenly opened out of its self. I got scared as the door opened slowly.  I took a deep breath and gathered all my courage to walk in the house.

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The house was really dusty and had spider webs everywhere. I took little steps and looked around me a lot of times. My heart started to beat faster as I continued walking through the hall way. There were old paintings on the wall, all covered in dust. The door of the room at the end of the hall way was open.  I slowly walked towards that door. When I reached the entrance I opened the door a little more. What I saw in that room was a long dining table with chandeliers on the table. I tried to look for ...

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This is an imaginative and well-told story. The first-person narrative effectively involves the reader and we are intrigued by the repetition of the dream events after the narrator wakes. Paragraph construction is well managed. Sentence construction is managed adequately on the whole, with some repetition and grammatical errors. 4 stars