Leanne was talking again, but I wasn’t listening. She squeezed my shoulder, trying to get my attention. I felt numb, uninterested, the plan fading from my mind.
“Shall we go inside, get into the warmth?” She asked. Her voice sounded comforting, soothing and far away. I nodded, not really knowing what I was agreeing to. Leanne helped me up, put an arm around my shoulders and walked me towards the door. We were nearly there, nearly inside, when all my feelings, all of what just happened came flooding back.
“NO!” I screamed. I turned to run, tears spilling from my eyes. I ran. I ran for only a couple of minutes taking random turns down random roads and random alleyways, before stopping. I leant with my side against a wall. I looked around, tears still streaming from my eyes. It was dark. That’s all I could tell.
“Sandra?” Someone was saying my name.
“Sandra.” I could tell it was Leanne, she must have followed me.
“Go away.” I murmured, “Leave me alone.” I wished the tears would go away, leave me alone. I hated crying. I found myself walking, walking down an alley, Leanne still behind me. A hand found my shoulder, turned my once again numb body towards it. I tried to fight back the tears, but the pain was too much. I collapsed. I collapsed through fear and sadness, crying into Leanne’s shoulder, letting the pain out.
“I hate him. I just… I hate him so much…” I stammered through the tears.
Chapter 4 – Kim Morrison
“Sandra McDougal?” I asked, surprise filling my voice. “Run away? I can’t believe that.”
“You never had any problems with her then?” asked Constable Wright.
“Well…no…” I hesitated. I could see both officers raising their eyebrows; exchange the quickest of glances at my faltering. “Well, she’s only been here since the beginning of the term – about a month.” I continued. I opened my mouth, closed it again and sighed before stating again. “Her previous school sent a report, an odd missed homework, forgotten book, nothing unusual and certainly nothing that would suggest any problems.”
“What’s her friendship group like, I mean, how’s she settled in?” this time it was the Detective Sergeant who asked.
“She settled in pretty well. I know that she was already friends with quite a few of the girls from the local hockey club, but yeah, settled in well, and with a decent group of girls.”
“Do you mind if we talk to them, her friends I mean, they may know something. Is something wrong?” the Detective asked, confusion on his face, for I had abruptly stood, gone to my desk and powered up my laptop.
“It’s just… Nah. It can’t be right. Not if she went missing last night.” I muttered in vague response. I loaded up the register on my laptop and looked up Sandra’s name. “You did say Sandra McDougal didn’t you? And that she went missing last night?”
“That’s right.”
“It’ just, I thought I saw her earlier today…” I spoke, bemused at the very idea.
Chapter 5 – Leanne
I placed a cup of tea in front of her, before pulling up a chair at the head of their dining room table, next to Sandra. She took it and muttered a thank you. I looked at her, dreading what I was going to have to tell her.
“How are you feeling? I asked. Sandra shrugged, looking at the floor, into her tea, at the walls, anywhere but me. “I have to tell you something. It’s about your Mum. The thing is…” I sighed, having difficulty telling the girl, “…The thing is, your Mum, she err, she…”
“Don’t. Please don’t say it. Please.”
“Sandra? What do you know?” I soothed. It was obvious she knew what had happened to her Mum, that she was now dead. All I got in answer however was a slow shake of the head. She was starting to cry again, trying to hide her face, as if crying was a sign of weakness.
“Sandra, did you see something, something that might help us, anything at all?” Sandra looked at me, the tears still pouring down her cheeks.
“I want to say. I really do. But I can’t” she answered. She ducked her head, her shoulders shaking in a hic-up style motion from crying. Her father came into the room at that moment, looking both saddened and angry. I saw Sandra glance at him, fear in her eyes.
“No-ones going to hurt you, you know.” I did wonder, however, the fear Sandra had been showing, the look at her dad, how he looked angry, fuming. “What do you know?” I asked again. “Did you see something?” At this she stood up, tears beginning to form, and ran upstairs. I stayed sat and thought for a moment, before going and reporting to the man in charge.
Chapter 6 – Kim Morrison
“She’s in school today?” asked Constable Wright, the confusion evident in her voice.
“I know. It doesn’t make any sense” I replied. I checked and double checked that I was looking at the right name. “Do you want to talk to her?”
The officers looked at each other before DS Sergeant replied that they did. I clicked her name on the register, looked at her timetable.
“If you’ll just stay here, I’ll go and get her from lesson.” I headed off for humanities, since she had geography. I was still extremely confused by what had been said, it just didn’t make any sense. Why? Why would you run away from home, if you were going to come into school the very next day? I reached the class room, B12, and went to talk to the teacher.
“Hey, can I take Sandra please?” I asked in an undertone.
“Yeh, sure. What’s it about, I mean, I saw a police officer before.” I wondered how much to tell Miss Parkinson. I decided on the truth, since I knew Miss Parkinson could keep things quiet when needed.
“She apparently ran away last night, but why she’s in school if that’s the case I don’t know. Anyway…” I turned and walked over to where Sandra was sat. I crouched by her table, and whispered to her “Sandra. Do you mind coming with me?” She shook her head in response, confusion on her face. “Great. Bring your things; I don’t know how long we’ll be.” I went to wait by the door, noticing it was very heavy after opening it, whilst Sandra packed her books away.
Once we had started walking towards my office Sandra asked “What’s this about?” The look on her face however made me think she already knew.
“Why don’t you tell me what you think this is about?” I asked in response, after considering whether to tell her and how much or not to tell her at all. She looked at me, as if she wanted to tell me, wanted to but couldn’t. Instead she just shrugged, looked back at the floor and continued walking.
Chapter 7
I entered Miss Morrison’s office, read the sign ‘Head of Pastoral Care’ as I did so. As I turned to look into the office I was entering, I saw two people - Leanne and a man I didn’t know or recognise.
“Take a seat Sandra.” Miss Morrison offered me a seat, which I took. She went and whispered something to Leanne and the man, who I presumed at this point was another police officer. They both nodded before turning to me. Miss Morrison sat down as the man started speaking.
“My name’s John and I believe you already know Leanne.” I nodded in response; I wasn’t in the mood for talking much. “Err, right, well last night we had a call from your dad to say you’d gone missing,” I looked down at my knees, my back hunched over, “where did you go?” I was going to play the ‘being dumb’ route, but figured that they’d all see through it straight away. This time in reply I shrugged, if I told them I figured they’d ask even more questions than they were going to. Miss Morrison sighed.
“We’re here to help you sweetheart, not to tell you off.” What did they know? I thought to myself. They didn’t know anything about my life, nothing about what goes on.
“I want to say. I really do Miss. But if he ever found out…” Those damned tears were coming back again, like they always do. I wiped my eyes, tried to clear the what-he-called weakness from my eyes.
“Who sweetheart, who are you scared of?” I looked at Miss Morrison, could see that she wanted to help. I couldn’t understand how she knew I was scared of him. What else did she know, could she find out? I shook my head, couldn’t bring myself to answer. I began to pick at the ladder that was forming in my tights. “Look. I want to help you, correction, we want to help you, and I think you want us to help you too, but,” she sighed, “we can’t do that if you won’t tell us what’s going on.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t. I just can’t”.
Chapter 8
“Miss, can I talk to you?”
“I was so not just on Facebook then!” Miss Morrison said hurriedly. She looked up from her laptop to see who had spoken. She saw who it was, a pupil in year eleven called Donna Weston. “Sure” she answered. “Take a seat.” Kim pointed to one of the sofas in her office, since this girl had not been sent to her for a telling off. Donna took the offered seat, not really wanting to talk to her teacher about what she was there to talk to her about. “What can I do for you Donna?”
“Erm, I’m not sure where to start really.” She sighed. “It’s about Sandra, Sandra McDougal.” Donna felt uneasy; she hated the idea of talking about her friends behind their backs, especially one of her best friends. This however had caught the attention of Kim, for only today had she had the police and Sandra in her office.
“What about her?” enquired the teacher.
“In P.E. today, when we were getting changed, I couldn’t help but notice that she had bruising on her shoulders. It’s probably none of my business, and it’s probably nothing, but, I don’t know…I guess I’m worried about her. The shape and size of the bruises, it’s not natural Miss.”
“Have you noticed anything different about her? I mean in the way she acts around others?”
This was all very interesting to Kim Morrison. She had suspected something was wrong; the way Sandra wouldn’t answer any questions. How she had seemed scared to even look at the police, let alone talk to them.
“Well, yeah.” Replied Donna, “but I just put that down to her Mum’s death. I know that any death can make someone act different, especially such a sudden one.”
“Did you notice bruising any where else?”
“I didn’t look to be honest but I did notice small cuts along her arms, if that means anything.” Kim shook her head, a look of false confusion on her face; she didn’t want to worry the girl about something that could be nothing, could be innocent. The bell rang outside the office, signalling the end of break.
“Okay, is there anything else?” This time it was Donna’s turn to shake her head. “Then if you want to get off to next lesson please.” Stupid statement really Kim thought. No student really wanted to go to their next lesson! “And Donna.” She added as her pupil was just exiting the office. “Thank you. If you think of anything else you know where to find me.”
Kim Morrison smiled a sad smile. All this was bringing back the memories of her own childhood, of how she had been treated at home. Maybe the way to get Sandra to talk was to make her aware that she wasn’t the only one. That she wasn’t the only one who has been abused; if that’s what’s happening.
“Oh, and Miss,” Donna had come back to the office, “can you not tell her it was me who told you please? About the bruises I mean.”
“Err, yeah sure.”
“Thanks Miss.”
Kim supposed that Donna thought Sandra would fall out with her if she found out about what Donna had told her. That’s what it usually is anyway. She continued to think about what had been said throughout the day, trying to piece the puzzle together…
Chapter 9 – Kate Hill
After sorting out a fight that had happened at lunch, I sat down to eat my ham, brie, lettuce and grape sandwich, taking note of the fact I had only 10 minutes until the end of lunch, until I had to teach. I was just about to take my first bite when there was a knock on the door. Typical! I glanced at my clock once more before I yelled for whoever knocked to come in. To my surprise it was Kim who walked through the door.
“Why did you wait outside? You usually just come marching in!”
“Sorry,” she answered. “There were some boys being annoying outside your office, so I thought I’d send them outside.”
“Ah right. Anyway, what can I do for you?”
“Err, well. It’s about Sandra McDougal again. I had Donna Weston in my office before third lesson telling me how she’s seen bruising on Sandra’s shoulders and small cuts along her arms. She said that she’s worried about Sandra and quite frankly I am too. And I’ve only just managed to begin following it up.” Kim must have seen the confused look on my face so she continued. “I went to ask her teachers how they feel she’s been behaving and apparently she wasn’t in third period today.”
“Do we know where she is?”
“No” Kim responded, “but I haven’t managed to ask her friends yet.”
Without a moment’s hesitation I said “Then our first priority is to find her. Second is to find out what’s going on.” I saw Kim nod.
“I thought I’d better tell you first, before running round the school like the mad lunatic I am!”
“Well you’ve got one thing right there!” I laughed. Kim ignored this joke however, her mind obviously on the task at hand. “Do we know if she’s still in the grounds?” Kim shook her head.
“No but I’ve got Linda in the office to looking at the CCTV.”
*****
We’d looked everywhere for Sandra, all four sets of girl’s toilets, the empty classrooms, all the nooks and crannies that you would usually find people, even the girls changing rooms! We were just about to give up looking and return to the office to see if she’d left the grounds when Kim suggested one more place.
“What about that little building by Humanities, you know the one with the kind of shelter roof thing in the middle?”
“What, the building where all of the smokers used to hang around?” I asked making sure that we were thinking of the same place.
“Yeh,” was the response I got, along with a nod of the head before Kim turned and walked towards the building.
I hung back, thinking. I knew what a life Kim had had when she was a kid. Everybody agrees that no-one should have to go through that, but I couldn’t help but wonder if all this was having an impact on her. I knew she never really spoke of what happened, not even to her daughter, and they were as good as best friends. Maybe these feelings were what were driving Kim’s persistence, that’s good, but if she became too persistent… I decided I would keep an eye on her, make sure she didn’t push Sandra too much to get to the truth. In my opinion, Sandra would open up when she’s ready, just as long as she knew who to turn to.
Chapter 10
I was on my way to fifth lesson. I decided I should, no matter how much trouble I’d get into, since I had already missed periods three and four, and it was German I would be missing. I liked German. I was just rounding the corner to go upstairs when I heard voices. I recognised one of them straight away – it was Miss Morrison. God she’d been on my case all day, although, granted, she was probably told that I had skipped lessons. I began to walk away, as fast as possible since I could hear Miss and whoever else was with her coming down the stairs. I was just about to enter B block, thinking I had managed to get away, when I heard my name being called. I pretended not to hear and carried on walking.
“Sandra!” This time it was louder. I turned; I couldn’t pretend that I hadn’t heard that. I saw Miss Morrison standing before me, with Mrs Hill just behind her. “Come with us” said Mrs Hill and she turned to walk away. I followed, Miss Morrison behind me.
We entered, surprisingly, Miss Morrison’s office. I say surprisingly because I was expecting to be going to Mrs Hill’s office, since I had skipped two lessons. I was offered a seat, on one of the sofas – what was this all about?
“Right. Sandra, we know you bunked off from two of your lessons today but what we want to know is why?” explained Miss Morrison. I looked at her, then at Mrs Hill. “Sandra?” I shrugged. I couldn’t explain the feelings, the thoughts that were going round in my mind. “Look. I’ve said it once and I’m going to say it again. We are here to help you. If you don’t give us a valid reason why you missed two lessons, we’ll have to call your dad.” This caught my attention.
“No, Miss you can’t” I said quickly, regretting it instantly. I looked at my knees, picking at the laddered tights again.
“Why not?” She looked at me. “Sandra, you’ve pretty much broken the law by missing your lessons. I have an obligation to inform your Dad about it.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“I’ve broken the law? What about him? Surely that’s breaking the law?!” I yelled.
“What’s he done?” how could she sound so calm? Why was no-one yelling at me, telling me to calm down? All I could do however was to shake my head in response, I was scared of him, he’d kill me if I told. I saw Miss Morrison sit back in her chair, fold her arms, heard her sigh. I looked quickly at Mrs Hill – why hadn’t she said anything? Asked me anything? The anger of the past few hours was building up inside me. “Sandra, if you don’t tell me what it is that’s going on, I can’t help you. I can see that you’re upset about something…”
“He killed her. He bloody killed her. Now can you piss off and leave me alone?” I cried out as I stormed from the office, tears pouring down my cheeks…
Chapter 11 – Kim Morrison
‘Another day, another dollar’ I quoted to myself this morning as I forced myself to get up out of my warm, cosy bed. If only it was another typical day, one that was completely different to yesterday. I had rung DS Sergeant, just after Sandra had stormed from my office. We don’t know where she went, decided we should let her cool off, thinking she wouldn’t dare leave the school grounds if she was that scared of her father. But she did, or else she must know some pretty decent hiding places!
*****
As I walked into school, passing the humanities department, I glanced out at the little shack of a building with the shelter roof thingy. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw Sandra McDougal sat there, in the pouring rain! I walked over, see if she’s alright I thought.
“Hey.” I made myself known in the simplest of ways – it was obvious that she was still a little irritated when I received a look, followed by a roll of the eyes. Sad eyes I thought. Mind you, I reminded myself, she did only yesterday admit that her dad committed murder – the murder of her mum. “Can I sit down?” this time a shrug in response. “Why don’t we go inside? Get out of the rain?”
“No. I like it out here.” Well I thought, at least I got a worded response! “Can I talk to you?” Finally!
“Of course you can” I replied in a hopefully sympathetic voice.
“He used to hit her… before he…” it was obvious she was having difficulty talking about what happened. She was beginning to cry, naturally, I thought.
“You don’t have to tell me this if you don’t want to, if you don’t feel ready.” She shook her head, so I nodded encouragingly.
“She came home early from her night out, it was like the last straw and he lost control…” I noticed she was shaking but I couldn’t tell if it was the cold weather or not.
“Alright, we’re going to go inside. You’re shaking” she shook her head.
“I’m fine. Honestly” she added seeing my ludicrous look.
“Okay.” I decided the longer I could keep her talking, the more would come out. “I’m sorry but I have to ask you.” I sighed before continuing. “Did he ever hit you?” I looked at her, but there was nothing in return – no look, no nod, no shake, no shrug. It was as if she had frozen. Although I thought I already knew the answer, I prompted her. “Sandra?”
She gave one slow nod, before breaking down into a fit of tears.
