How does Shakespeare present the tradition of love and marriage in the play Romeo and Juliet?

Pavan Tiwana

There are different types of love shown in the play Romeo and Juliet. This includes friendship, family and physical love. The main relationships I am going to write about are between Romeo and Rosaline, Juliet and Paris, the Capulet’s and Romeo and Juliet. The tradition of love and marriage is important throughout the play, as it is a main theme. It was also very important to the Elizabethans. A tragedy was caused by two young lovers who were destined to be together. Romeo and Juliet get married secretly. This was unacceptable for the Elizabethans. The other relationships were suitable. This is different today because we get married because we are in love. Some religions have arranged marriages but it is not very common.

Romeo and Rosaline’s love was courtly love. Courtly love was expected by the Elizabethans. It seems that Romeo is “out of her favour where I am in love.” As a main character, we expected more from him but instead see a moody young man who loves a woman who doesn’t love him. I think that Shakespeare shows this type of love between Romeo and Rosaline because he wants us to see that it is false. It allows us to compare this relationship with Romeo and Juliet’s love, which is special and meaningful.

I think that Romeo’s love towards Rosaline was childish. He was in love with the idea of love. We know this because he has most of the symptoms of courtly love. They are that he is in love with a woman, who is “unattainable”, Rosaline spurns his advances in order to preserve her honour and good name, her coldness inflames Romeo’s passion and he becomes sad, signs with grief and makes up verses about his love, he can’t eat or sleep because he thinks of Rosaline. Benvolio know what Romeo is doing so he suggests the Capulet’s party. Romeo starts complaining and says that he “will bear the light” because he feels “heavy” with grief and self-pity. Mercutio wouldn’t give up and tells him “we must have you dance” but Romeo doesn’t want to do anything because his soul feels like “lead.” His soul feels so heavy that it “stakes me to the ground I cannot move.” Mercutio make fun of him, and using the idea of love, tells him to “borrow Cupid’s wings.” Not even “Cupid’s wings” would help Romeo to dance because a “heavy burden” would stop him. From the first conversation with Benvolio and the Montague’s, we find out Romeo shuts himself in his room and closes the curtains so no light can enter. This is because the Sun represents happiness but Romeo is sad and moody so he doesn’t want to see it. Romeo is a Petrachan lover uses lots of flowery speech and language. Romeo uses an oxymoron saying “O brawling love, O living hate.” This shows confusion because he isn’t really in love with Rosaline.

We don’t really know too much about Rosaline because she never speaks in the play. We can tell, from Romeo’s speech that she is “too fair, too wise” and she has chosen not to marry. She “will not stay the siege of loving terms.” She is also “rich in beauty” and so her beauty is wasted because she doesn’t want to get married. She wants a life without physical love. She wants to remain “chaste.” We also know from the invitation to the Capulet’s party that “my fair Niece Rosaline” was invited. This is like bait for Romeo to go to the party. Later on when Romeo and Friar Lawrence first speak in the play, Romeo is asked about his feeling towards Rosaline. Romeo says that he “have forgotten the name” because he now loves Juliet. This is ironic because before he believed she was the only one for him.

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Paris and Juliet is a one-sided relationship. Paris thinks that Juliet loves him but he doesn’t realise that she doesn’t. It was acceptable for arranged marriages. Paris and Capulet arranged the marriage. When Paris first asked Capulet for Juliet’s hand in marriage, Capulet said that she was too young. It would be better when she was sixteen. Lady Capulet tells Juliet about Paris and to look at him at the party. Juliet replies that she would “look to like.” The party is ironic because Juliet is meant to look at Paris not Romeo. Capulet doesn’t want Juliet to get married too early. It is ironic that it is Capulet tells Juliet that she will get married on Thursday when in the beginning he tell Paris to wait. He only did this because Juliet refused to marry Paris. The Capulet’s don’t understand why Juliet doesn’t want to get married to Paris because they think that their relationship is successful, so they assume that Juliet and Paris’ will be also. Paris could have liked Juliet because she is an honourable girl from a respected family. Capulet thinks that Paris would be a perfect son-in-law. Paris wouldn’t have gotten married to Juliet because of the money because he has lots of money himself, as he is a kinsman to the Prince. This also made him a good husband and so Juliet would have been lucky to get someone like Paris as a husband.

I think that Paris and Juliet would have made a good marriage and it would have been a success. The obedient Juliet would have grown to love Paris or at least respect him. Paris seems like a man who worships his wife, like most Elizabethan men. Juliet is clever when talking to Paris in Friar Lawrence’s cell. She said to him that she “will confess to you that I love him.” This is really talking about Romeo but to Paris it is to himself. She doesn’t say these things in a basic and in a straight-forward way because it mean that she will insult Paris and her parents. She tries to be polite because she was trying not to ruin her love with Romeo. She was also expected to talk courteously to Paris. When Paris thought that Juliet was “dead”, he went to pay his last respects. Romeo reluctantly kills Paris who believed that Romeo had caused Juliet’s death and so died fighting for Juliet. He asks one last thing, “lay me with Juliet.”

The Capulet’s marriage, I think was arranged. I don’t think that the Capulet’s loved each other anymore because Capulet calls Lady Capulet “wife” which sounds rude to us but it was acceptable for the Elizabethans as women were regarded as being less important than men. It was common in the Elizabethan times for older men to marry women much younger that themselves. This is how it is in their marriage. We know Lady Capulet is younger because she tells Juliet “I was your mother, much upon these years.” Juliet is “not fourteen” so Lady Capulet must be about twenty-seven or twenty-eight. We know that Capulet is older because when Capulet was talking to Second Capulet are the party, he asks him:

“How long is’t now since last yourself and I

Were in a mask?”

Second Capulet replies “Berlady thirty years.” Capulet also says that:

“For you and I are past our dancing days”

because they were running out of breath whilst dancing.

I think Capulet may have loved Lady Capulet once. Lady Capulet most probably married Capulet for the money. The Capulet’s marriage was a success in the sense that they were staying together. She couldn’t divorce Capulet because women had no power to in Elizabethan times. She wouldn’t want to anyway because Capulet provides the money and food. She has a really good life but not all arranged marriages worked out. It was a bonus if both of them were in love with each other such as the Montague’s seemed to be. Lady Capulet seems scared of Capulet because when Juliet refuses to marry Paris, she tells Capulet instantly when he asks and watches the damage she has caused because she can’t say anything against Capulet or about his decisions. When Juliet asks her for help and support, she says:

“Talk not to me, for I’ll not speak a word”

and leaves Juliet all alone. Capulet and Lady Capulet’s marriage is almost business like and formal. Lady Capulet just stays with Capulet for the security. Capulet stays with Lady Capulet because the marriage suits him. Lady Capulet can’t say anything against Capulet. The furthest that Lady Capulet can defy against Capulet is:

“A crutch, A crutch, why call you for a sword”

The last and most important relationship in the play is Romeo and Juliet. I think that Shakespeare wants to show us that fate can be real and so it would make Romeo and Juliet meet up and fall in love with each other because they were “star cross’d lovers.” Astronomy was important to the Elizabethans, as they believed that they could tell the future. When Romeo firsts sees Juliet, he had “ne’er saw true beauty till this night.”

When Romeo and Juliet first meet at the party, Juliet speaks very familiarly, which is a shock especially because she had lived a sheltered life with Tybalt and her father probably as the only males she had talked to. Elizabethans did not expect this. A lot of religious imagery is used such as Romeo likens Juliet to a “holy shrine” and a “pilgrim.” They use religious imagery to show that this love is special. Religion was important to the Elizabethans. You get married in the eyes of God. I think that Shakespeare used religious imagery because he wants us to see that the love is special and religious references were expected in the Elizabethan courtly love. Although Juliet’s talking to a complete stranger and letting him kiss her is very shocking, by using religious imagery it makes it seem acceptable and so not very bad. Juliet encourages Romeo to kiss her again and complements him by saying “you kiss by the book.” Tybalt’s angry words compared to Romeo and Juliet’s love filled words makes their speech seem even more special. They speak in a sonnet. Using a sonnet is one of the ways the Elizabethans expressed their love in verses. Romeo says that Juliet is a “snow white dove trooping with crows.” The crows meaning everyone else at the party. This is using light and dark imagery because it is referring to their deaths. When Romeo realises who Juliet is, it is too late because his “life is my foes debt” because he was already in love with her. It is ironic at the end of the act because they were predicted to fall in love and meet and so it came true. Before the party, Romeo had a premonition that the party would result in death. He says:

“I fear too early; for my mind misgives

Some consequence yet hanging in the stars…

By some vile forfeit of untimely death”

Romeo gives Mercutio and Benvolio the slip so he can see Juliet. It is extremely romantic in the orchard scene because they are in a garden full of flowers and the sky is black with the moon shining brightly with the stars. Juliet appears at the balcony and talks of her love towards Romeo. Elizabethan girls were not expected to express their feelings towards someone openly. The idea of darkness in their speech signifies death of the two. Throughout their speech, it is full of tension and love and people are thinking that they would die in the next scene or soon after the orchard scene. Juliet is likened to a “dove” and “swan” amongst crows. Everyone might think that this is the last time that Romeo and Juliet see each other by the language they use. Throughout the scene, Juliet is more dominant out of the two. Romeo tries to carry on in the acceptable Elizabethan way of love when Juliet asks him if he loves her. He says:

“by yonder blessed Moon I vow”

Juliet doesn’t like this answer because

“…th’ inconstant Moon

That monthly changes in her circular orb”

Romeo seems confused by what Juliet who is saying because it seems as if she was changing his views about love. It’s not all flowery language and poetry. But it can just be plain words. When Romeo asks what he should swear his love by, Juliet replies:

“Do not swear at all:

Or if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self…

And I’ll believe thee.”

It is surprising that it is Juliet who suggests the marriage instead of Romeo. When Romeo makes the marriage arrangements, he seems to have matured. Their fathers should have arranged the marriage but because they are foes they must marry in secret.

It was not right to leave two young unmarried people alone because it seemed daring. Love seemed to lead the two into marriage so quickly. Romeo and Juliet both loved each other and they saw no point in wasting time. Their love was mutual. It was not like the Capulet’s marriage, which is business like. Love overpowers sense and reason so they only see that they love each other.

Romeo and Juliet’s wedding symbolises a lot. If they hadn’t gotten married, Juliet would marry Paris. The newly wedded couples first night together and only night together is full of tension because Romeo is banished. While Juliet waits for Romeo to come, she likens herself to an

“…impatient child that hath new robes

And may not wear them”

This tells us that Juliet cant wait to exchange physical consummation of marriage.

The scene in which Romeo and Juliet part after their night together, it is very sad but romantic at the same time. This was going to be the last time that the young couple were to see each other alive. Juliet doesn’t want Romeo to go so she tells him the it was the “nightingale” that sang not the “lark.” Romeo is cautious though because he doesn’t want to die otherwise they would never meet again for sure. Romeo starts to leave and Juliet tells him to write to her

“…every day in the hour,

For in a minute there are many days”

It is ironic that Juliet should ask:

“O think’st thou we shall ever meet again.”

And Romeo answers that he “doubt it not.” It is also very sad because they will not see each other again alive.

Juliet is desperate because she doesn’t know what to do about Paris. The nurse advises her to marry Paris. Juliet wants to kill herself when she goes to Friar Lawrence. Friar Lawrence calms her down and tells her of a potion that will make her look dead. Friar Lawrence told her that she needed strength to drink it. Juliet replies that:

“Love gave me strength!

And love shall help afford”

In the end, there is a misunderstanding, as a very important letter wasn’t delivered to Romeo. Romeo kills himself with a potion from a poor Apothecary thinking that Juliet is dead and so when Juliet finds Romeo dead, she kills herself. The language that they use to each other as a farewell before they kill them selves is straight-forward. Romeo speaks maturely although it is very sad. He talks of how

“Death that hath suck’d the honey of thy breath

Hath had no power yet upon thy beauty,”

Throughout Romeo’s speech, Romeo was saying that she looks so beautiful and fair that she doesn’t look dead. It was as if he knew that she was really alive. He goes through what he can do one last time and then kisses Juliet’s lips then drinks the poison.

When Juliet awakes, she is supposed to see Romeo. When she sees Romeo however, she finds him dead with a poison bottle. She is disappointed with him because he didn’t leaving any poison left for her. She calls it a “friendly drop” because it would allow her to die and be with Romeo. So she “will kiss thy lips.” When she found none, she looks for something to kill herself with. She finds a “happy dagger” of Romeo’s. Her speech is more hurried because she wants to be with Romeo. Romeo’s is slower because he wants to touch her one more time before killing himself.

In conclusion, I have learnt a lot of things about the tradition of love and marriage in the play Romeo and Juliet. I didn’t know that they had arranged marriages or about courtly love. The whole play was full of tension, love, light and darkness and death. Marriages are very different today. We allow relationships such as Romeo and Juliet’s but only a few religions still have arranged marriages. Romeo and Juliet’s love was the strongest seen in the play. There love was so strong that they ignored the traditional love. You wonder throughout the play whether the relationship would be better if certain things changed. You thing that if only Juliet woke up later and that Romeo delayed the time before drinking the potion. They had to kill themselves to make their parents see that they didn’t have to be enemies any more.