How the poets create and use a metaphor in 'This room'. Compare this to one or more poems are also use metaphors

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How the poets create and use a metaphor in ‘This room’.  Compare this to one or more poems are also use metaphors

        In many of the poems I have been looking at the public use a variety of language.  Much of the make-up of the poem is a plague on wives, other as consist of questions however I will be looking at the use of metaphors.  I will be looking closely at the poem ‘This Room’ and another ‘Half Caste’.

        I will start by commenting on the poem ‘This Room’. ’This Room’ uses many metaphors to portray the poets feelings. He uses many metaphors to show how he is feeling trapped and also to show how he is feeling that new horizon is forthcoming. For example, line six,

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‘The bed is lifting out of

Its nightmares’

This quotation shows how the poet feels that he is starting a new chapter in his life and therefore all about things before have been pushed aside.  The poet also tries to use this line to portray that he is beginning a new phase in his life. This is again about identity and how he fears his old identity but wants to form a new identity.

The other poem chose is ‘Half Caste’.  This Poem again uses metaphors however on a much larger scale this is shown throughout the poem, sometimes using ...

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The Quality of Written Communication (QWC) needs a bit of work too. From small things like spelling errors to large issues like syntactical errors, this candidate simply needs to revise a lot of their work when they write it. I recommend that after every paragraph the candidate re-checks their QWC because in a subject such as English, the need for high QWC is absolutely imperative; if examiners struggle to read the essay, they will deduct QWC marks.

The Level of Analysis shown here tries hard enough, but there's a lot of barriers stopping it being so effective, such as the vagueness of some of the analysis, where the candidate does not clearly elaborate their points or give examples from the poems. Candidates should avoid saying things like "I will look at X poem first" because by attacking the question in such a segregated way you are preventing the potential comparison that is necessary, This answer feels more like a list of everything the candidates know about the use of metaphors in each of the poems. That is to say, as far as explicit comparative points go, there is none. Candidates must show comparative techniques if they are to reach a higher grade than a middle D grade for GCSE.

This candidate has attempted a good analysis of the use of metaphors in the two poems selected. Though comparing Imtiaz Dharker's 'This Room' and John Agard's 'Half-Caste' is an unorthodox choice, this question does not concern themes, so the choice should not limit the amount of analysis the candidate can accomplish. However, there is not a very clear explanation of how the metaphors are achieved, and a very vague understanding of the poetic devices that work in conjunction with the metaphors. Most of the analysis is either too vague to earn marks or too specific to be taken beyond the poem it belongs to; the comparison points here are limited due to no explicit similarities and differences being discussed. Candidates should look to find a strong metaphor in the poems (e.g. 'This Room' - self-discovery and re-invention) and then comment on how they differ and are similar in the poems. This will naturally encourage a better response to the question. The introduction here is not a very good one. There are no marks and therefore there is no point in describing other poems that have been studied when the question asks for analysis and understanding of a select couple. Also,