I left some chewing gum in the know hole one night, I am assured nobody else will pick it up as they will not see they shiny wrapper in the dark nor does anyone go past it earlier than them in the morning. Scout picked up the chewing gum one day after school; she finishes school earlier than Jem. As I would of expected from such a young mind she didn’t even look to think of who might of left it and if it was for her or not. She took the chewing gum and pocketed it. I think she may believe that the pecans that grow in our yard would kill her, so she obviously didn’t know who left them because, surely, something given to her on purpose would cause her double the impairment. I narrowed it down to either Jem or their cook who would of told Scout to put the chewing gum in the bin outside, there father was so nice, nothing like my malevolent father.
I know the children’s fear of me has been caused by hearsay but with such impressionable minds this is as bad as me saying something bad about myself, to their faces. I started to have second thoughts that Jem wanted to call and he did not want to. Maybe he was put up to it and really dreaded coming so close to the house.
Intrigue of me and our house was caused by there summer friend called Dill. He had stood gazing at the house by a nearby lamppost for hours on end his eyes would look the house up and down memorising where every brick was. Any movement inside the house would cause an astonished look on his face for a while.
He looked the only person in the county who would even try to make contact with me and unfortunately he left the day after I left my second gift. Again I left chewing gun for them, this time a whole pack to show them how much our friendship had grown. I found it so funny when Scout managed to get herself in the tyre and as Jem pushed her further down the road she was travelling faster than Jem could keep up with her. Then she a barrier just outside my house, I could not stop myself from laughing. I think she was alright. I wish my family were more like this family, more happy go lucky like Jem not like my unforgiving father.
They had showed such enthusiasm and excitement for each present and they wondered what I had left them the previous night. They would run to the hole every morning, usually I left the presents at night. I could observe the disbelief on Jem’s face when he opened up the box with the two shiny Indian heads inside. I don’t think Scout realised what they actually were and left Jem to understand fully how much value these carried. These showed to Jem, at least the value of this friendship. I hoped the children would keep these close to them, to remind how much they meant to me, as my only link with the outside world. These Indian heads had a surreal sense of magic and were meant to protect you and bring you good luck.
Their friend arrived to come and stay with them a few days after I had left them the coins. He and Jem would stick together as a pair and talk and play occasionally with the sister. She seemed to be not as close to Jem when this boy was around. I would watch them do there plays and act and pretend to be other people Jem seemed to be able to adapt to any role they gave him. They were so happy doing this, not a care in the world, nothing like me; all I wanted to do was to be with them.
Several days late I was horrified to see they were re-enacting a tale they had obviously heard about me. They depicted me as a wicked, evil werewolf. They acted the tale that I rammed a pair of scissors into my mother’s leg. This story was derived from when my crazy mother ran out of the house screaming “he’s killing them all,” the sheriff visited as somebody had reported a disturbance my father and me managed to calm her down before the sheriff arrived. All summer they would do this again showing me as some sort of monster. Every so often I would peer out of the shutters in the kitchen to see if they had stopped this torment and got bored or just moved on and forgotten these rumours. As I expected neither of these things happened.
They had no idea how I lived. They had no right to have ideas on what I have supposedly done. For fifteen years I stayed in the house, venturing out for moments in case somebody would see me and mock me even more. I hated this and the fact they were acting this out hurt me the most.
Once when they were re-enacting the scene where I stabbed my father they were surprised to see there father who halted the proceedings at once. He told them to stop but let on to the naïve children he did not really know what they were doing but I could tell he did not approve of them doing this. I wondered who had fed them this information that I am this sort of monster it was obviously not their father so it must have been, neighbourhood gossip. They seemed to have the up most respect for Atticus so why were they believing something he did not believe, this gossip must have been strong and in plentiful amounts.
Later that week Jem tried to send me a letter on the end of a fishing pole, if his arm would have been that little bit longer I would have been able to reach out and grab it, this would be the first time they had attempted to make contact with me.
One night I heard a noise outside while I was in my room. They were outside in the garden. Maybe they had begun to understand; after all they were in the yard with the deadly pecans. Nathan had also mobilized and had in tow his shotgun. I was distraught he could kill one of the children I told him to just aim in the air to scare them. He did this reluctantly. They went away. Later that night, I went out to see if they had left a note for me, since I did not receive the one on the fishing pole. All I found was a pair of a boys night pyjama trousers. The trousers had been torn on the barbed wire fencing at the back of our house. He would be in so much trouble in Nathan found them or if somebody got word that his trousers were found in the Radley back yard. That night I sewed them up. I some how knew he would not risk being told off and that he would come back for them. I left them on the fence folded up. I hoped nobody would find out.
Some time later I left a ball of twine in the knot hole. It was the only thing I could find and I had not sent them a gift in a while so I thought I best keep communication up. The morning after the twine was still gone I got worried and thought they knew It was me sending them gifts and decided to not receive them. I was very relieved when three days later they took the twine out of the knot hole and took it home. This seemed to be the turning point in giving them gifts. Everything from now on seemed to go straight in their pocket without any hesitation that it wasn’t theirs.
For about a week after that I would sit at the kitchen window with the shutters half open so I could see them but they could not see me. I decided to make replicas of them by carving their features into soap. I would spend hours watching them in the yard playing and copying every feature they had into these bars of soap with a pocket knife. During this time I mislaid my watch, I took it off my wrist while carving as the battery had diminished but never found it. These would be the best gift I could give to them showing how much I was in admiration for them and what they did. I was so amazed I wondered so much what normal life would of bin like.
Scout was horrified for some reason and threw them on the floor. Jem managed to persuade her otherwise some how and she reluctantly accepted her replica and put it in her pocket. She still did not seem to understand everything about the gifts, maybe she did not realise I was sending them. I feel Jem knew these were replicas of the children but did not want to admit it.
I left another pack of chewing gum trying to get into their heads that perhaps they should try and make contact with me again there is no way I could do it. Nathan would kill me.
The following week I showed them that I had achieved something beyond the odds. I gave them my spelling medal, even now I would look at it in my cabinet and take pride that I had won that medal. Then I wondered how I managed to become what I am today, a local horror story. I found my watch. I then gave them my watch, Nathan would not buy batteries for me, and I hated him with all my feelings. My pocket knife I also gave to them, the one I carved their figures out of in soap.
This relationship was so close to being a final encounter. Finally maybe I would meet them and speak and talk. Just like normal people do. Then Nathan committed the most unforgivable crime, he blocked up the knot hole. My only means of communication one night it was there the next, banished for eternity. I vowed never to make contact with him again. And until my dying day I will not go back on my word.
