This is a preview of the whole essay
Peer Reviews
Here's what a star student thought of this essay
Quality of writing
There are some issues with the quality of this essay, such as spelling and grammatical errors, there are also incidences in which words have been omitted. The candidate does not use the technical terms I would expect at this level of qualification. Overall this is a relatively poor example of a GCSE essay, on the positive side the essay flows nicely and the candidate uses an expectable range of vocabulary.
Level of analysis
Generally quotations are used poorly and the analyse makes little sense, the candidate shows a poor level of understanding. There is a quotation in the second paragraph; this needs speech marks to show that Candy is talking and that this has come from a section in the book. The candidate does not discuss how Steinbeck sets a scene and there is no mention of linguistic techniques such as onomatopoeia, metaphors, smilies etc. In addition there is no real conclusion, the essay just seems to come to a stop. A conclusion should summarise your key points, answer the initial question and include your own opinions and reasonings.
Response to question
The candidate goes through the key relationships between the characters and describes how these relationships have come about. The essay is short and it lacks depth. There is a reasonably good introduction but the rest of the essay is minimal, the candidate makes no attempt to offer their own thoughts and opinions, or the build on the story.