Their marriage is a sharp contrast to Mr. and Mrs. Gardiners’. This couple displays all the benefits of a happy and loving marriage. After many years, they have many children and still have a great amount of respect and love for each other. They are both pleasant and educated people. Mr. Gardiner is much more sensible than his sister, Mrs. Bennet, and Mrs. Gardiner is amiable and intelligent. They always agree with each other and are always willing to help out (i.e. the Lydia and Wickham situation). They take Lizzy to Derbyshire and Pemberley and this is Jane Austen’s way of using them as a device in Lizzy and Darcy’s courtship, as the last sentence in the novel says that they ‘by bringing her into Derbyshire, had been the means of uniting them’. Mrs. Gardiner is happy with her husband and her marriage and when walking at Pemberley she ‘preferred’ her husband’s arm to Elizabeth’s, showing her devotion. When Lizzy and Darcy are married they remain very close friends with the Gardiners and says that they both ‘ really loved them’.
The Gardiners are one of two examples of a marriage and family life in the novel. The other is that of Mr. and Mrs. Bennet and is a complete contrast. Mr. Bennet is stuck in an unloving marriage and detests being around women, especially Mrs. Bennet who is ‘too silly’ and he spends a lot of time in the library to evade her. We are informed that he was ‘captivated by youth and beauty’ and because of that had married a woman ‘whose weak understand and illiberal mind … had put an end to all real affection for her’. The loss of attraction and sex was often the cause of a marriage that deteriorated. After 23 years of marriage Mr. and Mrs. Bennet still have a mental lack of understanding for each other because she is foolish and he takes pleasure in mocking her stupidity and her ‘nerves’. They rarely disagree as they have very different views and have both never been able to comprehend each other’s personalities.
There were many other reasons for marriage such as to secure a bloodline, for status or money but only occasionally for love. Bingley and Jane however found love, respect and affection for each other. They both have modest and kind natures and share similar interests. Mr. Bennet comments that ‘every servant will cheat’ them because of their easy nature’. Bingley is also much more accepting of their family’s status, he knows they are of lower class but it does not seem to affect him as much as it affects Darcy. We also know that Jane is very good with children from her relationship with the young Gardiners and would be quite good at playing the housewife role. Both Bingley and Jane always see the best side of people and are very optimistic if humble and modest in their attitudes. They are also both very physically attractive which is what at first enchants them to each other. For example at the first ball, Bingley chooses to dance every dance with Jane. Also Lizzy notices this when Bingley revisits them after being away for a very long time and finds that the ‘beauty of her sister rekindled the admiration of her former lover’. However it is quite obvious that their feelings are deeper than surface attraction and will endure.
However this is a huge contrariety in comparison to the marriage of Lydia and Wickham and the incidents surrounding it. It is merely based on lust and physical attraction alone and is used by Jane Austen as an example of a bad marriage, taking place in the wrong circumstances. Lydia is about 10 years younger than Wickham and is naïve, immature and shallow in her thinking. The only reason she wanted to marry Wickham was to make herself seem more mature and surpass her sisters by marrying first and being the youngest. She ran away with no thoughts of the consequences it would have on her name or her family even though if it had been found out they had been living together out of wedlock it would have caused dishonour to her parents and ruined her sisters’ chances of marrying. She had no idea of the scandal that could have been caused and was quite happy to live with Wickham even though at first he had no intention of marrying her. It was essential that they married to save her honour and luckily due to Mr. Darcy’s intervention the marriage went ahead. When Lydia describes the wedding to Lizzy, she appears much more interested in what Wickham was wearing than the actual ceremony that was taking place. Unfortunately for her their relationship is very unbalanced, as she likes him a lot more than he likes her. His reasons for marrying were purely mercenary, as he wanted to get all his debts paid off. For this he tried to choose rich and impressionable young girls so that there would be a large dowry. Lizzy immediately saw this when he pursued Miss King as ‘the sudden acquisition of ten thousand pounds was the most remarkable charm of the young lady’, and Wickham this is how Wickham showed his true nature. Predictably this was not going to be a happy marriage and we are told that ‘his affection soon sunk into indifference, hers lasted a little longer,’ and so they concluded with a very similar union to that of Mr. and Mrs. Bennet, her parents.
Finally we come to the match between Elizabeth and Darcy. This is the most interesting marriage in my opinion. Elizabeth is determined not to make the same mistake her parents did and chooses her partner very carefully. However their relationship has been a very complicated one throughout the novel. Lizzy has very firm views on marital happiness and is constantly debating aspects of this with Jane or Charlotte. She believes that both partners shouls be equal in intelligence, love and respect. When they first meet at the ball, Darcy dislikes her because she is not the prettiest girl in the room and Lizzy is greatly amused by this but dislikes him because he is proud. He first begins to like her at Netherfield when Jane is ill because she has ‘fine eyes’ and a ‘lively spirit’. This leads to him staring at her and watching her carefully, but she sees this and mistakes his looks for glares and hatred. He tries his utmost to stop liking her due to the inequality of status but fails and this eventually leads to a proposal. Elizabeth is very shocked at the proposition both because of his appalling insults and the astonishment of the realisation that he likes her, but it does however show his earnestness and how in love with her he is. She refuses, as she cannot believe that he feels no remorse for attempting to separate Bingley and Jane. They argue and it ends badly, they do not see each other for a long time after this. He writes her a letter explaining everything and tries to stop loving her again. They are learning from their quarrel though as the criticism makes them realise their bad points, he has realised his proud manner is giving the wrong impression of him and so he gradually begins to change and the same is happening with her views on Mr. Darcy. She begins to see things through Darcy’s eyes and begins to understand him, this is where she also starts to like him. Then at Pemberley she is very impressed with his manners and how much they have improved and realises what she could have. Her love for him increases after this but she thinks she has lost her chance and tries to dissuade her affections from him. This leads to them both being in love with each other but thinking that they have no prospects together and trying to stop thinking about it. His encouragement comes when he learns from Lady Catherine de Bourgh that she was too stubborn to promise not to accept his proposal. When he returns to Longbourn they go for a walk and they both realise the love they share and so they get engaged. The fact that they have both failed in trying to stop liking each other so much proves that this is true love. Mr Bennet says that ‘you must respect your husband’ and it is obvious that she does. This is a very healthy marriage as both of them have very strong personalities as well as being physically attractive. They both respect each other’s intelligence and wit and it is obvious that they will work very well together as a couple.
We can now see very clearly the contrast between marriage in the 1800s and marriage today in 2000. It was a lot more austere and there were many things you could not do that many people do nowadays before marriage, i.e. living together, sex, children, etc… Also in those days marriage was for life and divorce or separation were very rare, when it did occur it was severely frowned upon. Jane Austen herself never married and concentrated on her writing career so maybe she was more accurate to write about such a subject then someone who was already married and would have personal views on it. Or perhaps she was less accurate as she was merely going on what she had heard from friends and family members. Either way she has written a novel that captures the moral and social opinions of marriage in the 1800s.
