Exclusiveness represents faithfulness. The couple should be faithful to each other and a symbol of this faithfulness is the exchange of the rings in the marriage ceremony. The rings are circular shaped representing ‘never-ending’, a marriage should be never-ending because the love the couple have for each other should be never-ending and also the love that they both have for God should also be never-ending. The rings are also a sign of their love and fidelity for each other.
The third important aspect of marriage is ‘permanency’ Marriage is meant to be permanent and never-ending. The marriage vows represent permanence, “till death do us part” meaning that marriage is a commitment for life, and should never be broken. Another representative of permanence in marriage is in one of the questions the priest asks the couple,” Have you come to give yourself freely and without reservation?” A third representative of permanence is in the ‘nuptual blessing’, “may he always love and honour her…Keep them faithful… And let them be living examples of Christian life.” These words represent permanence, and show that the marriage is permanent and for life.
Pope John Paul the second says, “A man and woman pledge themselves to one another in an unbreakable alliance of total mutual self-giving. A total union of love, love that is not a passing emotion or temporary infatuation…” The pope is explaining that marriage is permanent and this permanence should not be broken.
Jesus teaches about marriage in the ‘Sermon on the mount’, with the following words he underlines the permanence of marriage, “.. Anyone who looks at another woman and wants to possess her is guilty of committing adultery. So if your right eye causes you to sin, take it out and throw it away! It is much better to lose a part of your body than for your whole body to go to hell…”
Although the church and Jesus teaches that marriage is a life long commitment divorce still occurs. Divorce is the legal termination of a marriage, and not seen as acceptable by the Roman Catholic Church. After a divorce the couple are free to re-marry. This is where Christian views differ. The Roman Catholic Church teaches that divorce is totally wrong. In the eyes of the church the couple are married for life and therefore to re-marry would be seen as adultery. Occasionally an annulment may be granted, in certain situations. An annulment is a cancellation of a marriage as if the marriage never took place.
The Church of England also does not really accept divorce, as they believe that marriage is a commitment for life also, however some vicars are allowing re-marriage in their church, and the number of re-marriages within the Church of England is increasing.
Many free Churches accept divorce and allow remarriage in a church ceremony. They believe that the death of love between the couple ends the marriage not the death of one of them.
A02
Christian teachings about marriage should affect a couple in their married life, and we can see that it does as many marriages work, although some do not and therefore end in divorce. Christian teachings reflect what a good Christian marriage should be like. All married Christian couples should be aware of the teachings of Jesus, and the three important aspects of marriage mentioned in A01, ‘permanency’ ‘exclusiveness’ and ‘life-giving’
Marriage vows can be seen as practical and relevant, even for Christian couples today. The vows represent the permanence of marriage and marriages are meant to be permanent today. For example, “in sickness and in health” If one person in the couple becomes ill, they may have to depend on their partner for help through this time. Through saying these vows they are making a promise to do this, and they know that they should not break this promise. This example shows that the vows are still relevant for today. Christian couples need to live up to their wedding vows in everyday life. “for richer, for poorer” in times of financial difficulties the couple need to think about the vows they made to each other, in order to get through this time and by working together they will become stronger as a couple.
As stated in A01 marriage is permanent, exclusive and life giving and a married Christian needs to live up to these three aspects of marriage. If he or she were to break one of these promises and have an affair or commit adultery, but did not mean it then s/he should be forgiven if they are sorry for what they did. Jesus stated that adultery was only a sin, and is just as bad as any other sin, so sins can be forgiven, “Whichever one of you has committed no sin may throw the first stone,” Adultery is still a sin and should not be committed again.
There are many situations that can put a marriage under strain, but the Christian teachings on how to live a Christian marriage can help to lift this strain. In times of financial struggles, you can look at, and remember the vows, “for richer and for poorer” this should help the couple to stay together at get through the financial problems together, it will remind the couple that they will always be together and love each other no matter what is happening.
Although marriage preparation takes place some people just grow apart from each other for many different reasons. Marriage is meant to be ‘permanent’ a life long relationship of love between the couple but divorce occurs and ends this. Marriage is also meant to be ‘exclusive’ but often this promise is broken. If one partner has an affair they are bringing a third person into the marriage and the marriage is no longer exclusive to the couple. An affair can occur for many reasons, but one could be because their partner is not fulfilling their requirements in sex and in love, so that person will look elsewhere for this.
Married couples are trying to live up to the ‘ideal’ of married life, which is that God should be at the heart of their marriage, and they can put him at the heart of their marriage by living their lives in a Christian way and by following the promises they made to each other in their marriage. Some couples cannot do this and major problems occur but there is always ‘marriage care’, in which people can help you through a difficult time in order to avoid divorce. In a Christian marriage, if a problem occurs, the couple should try harder to fix the problem rather than let it end in divorce, and this will help the couple to become stronger as a married couple. Marriage is all about change and growth, things change throughout time, people change and the love between the couple should change and become even bigger and stronger, there should be a growth in their love for each other.
A03
“For Christians sex is only right within marriage”
I understand that the Catholic Church believes that sex should only be within a marriage and not before a marriage. Catholics believe in ‘life-giving’ this is one of the promises made during a marriage ceremony, “Will you accept children lovingly from God”; I understand that Catholics believe the idea of sex is to produce another child and add to the Catholic faith. Catholics also believe that sex is showing the highest form of love for each other and this love can only be shown within a marriage. I understand that Catholics believe that sex is a gift from God, and has a purpose of binding a couple together in their marriage commitment, and co-operate with God in creating new life. I think that God’s idea of sex is for the couple to communicate at the most ultimate level, but mainly to bring children into the world.
I think that sex outside of marriage has a different meaning. Sex within a marriage shows the love that the couple have for each other, whereas having sex with anyone you just meet outside of a marriage, is just a form of fun and doesn’t mean anything to that person. If the couple have been together for a long time and have not yet married, but have had sex, then they are just fulfilling their natural appetite for sex. Jesus teaches us that if you look at another man/woman then s/he is committing adultery. I also understand that some Christians might think that sex does not have to involve the conception of a child, and therefore methods of contraception can be used. But I feel that Jesus teaches us that all human life is sacred, from the moment of conception and therefore the chances of having and child should not be avoided. If you are married then you make promises to ‘accept children lovingly from God’ The Catholic church says, “..Any use whatsoever of sex in marriage must retain its natural potential to procreate human life,” This is telling us that all sexual intercourse in marriage should be natural and open to the possibility of a new human life and therefore methods of contraception should be avoided. Also in the ‘Humanane Vitae’ Pope Paul the 6th recommended that Catholic couples should only use natural methods of family planning, “Contraception is morally wrong”
For many people marriage is a daunting thought, as they may find it hard to live up to the ‘ideal’ of marriage and not break the promises that they make. I therefore feel that sex outside marriage is a fulfilment of love for another person but without the pressures of marriage and sticking to the promises made and the ‘ideal’ of marriage, -this is only the case when the couple have been together for a long time but have not married.
Overall I believe that sex is a special act showing the highest form of love for a person. This love can only be shown within a marriage. It is a way for the couple to express their love fully and into doing this they are strengthening their relationship in marriage. Also sex is for producing new life and I feel that a child should only be brought up into a stable family and therefore the parents need to be married to do this. Also I believe that if the couple are married then their love will reflect into the child’s life and s/he will be greatly loved also. I feel that a child should be conceived naturally and nothing should be done to avoid that child being conceived, like contraception.
