Anyways the boys start work early morning and finish late afternoon, they all go back to the bunkhouse and most times play cards. Sometimes Curley and all the boys have a horseshoe tournament going on, I don’t like it when that happens cause I’m all on my own in the house or out there, but it is one of the few times Curley lets me go outside. Other times he tries to keep me in the house. He gets mighty jealous even though I never give him cause to be.
If I’m out of his sight he’s forever chasing me to check where I am and who I’m talking to. When I am kept in that house all he ever goes on about is how he’s going to deal with people he don’t like, which is everybody. Forever he’s saying how he’s going to beat them with a left thump then a right kick, it’s so depressing hearing all this bullshit, morning through night; someone’s already bust his hand - had it coming to him though. Curley’s talked about decorating the house for nearly a year now, and he reminds me, “We gotta decorate the house soon”. He does this to try to persuade me to do it myself, but I know there’s no point cause I’m not in the house much any more. And I know he wouldn’t treat me to anything, anyway. Not even sure if I’d like to be treated by him. He don’t treat me like he used to when we first met, it was nice to hear such romantic sweetalk back then, I guess I now realize why he said all that. It wasn’t true love!
I especially know this since he goes … OUT, without telling me where he goes. He just goes with some other boys “somewhere”, I’m certain he goes to a whorehouse. That’s the only thing he spends his money on.
On the bright side the air is warm, the view is nice, and we got lots of money coming in, enough for make-up and nice clothes that them stunning movie actresses put on, so I look damn dandy. I could pass for an actress now. If I hadn’t met Curley and hadn’t decided to leave town I probably would have been an actress. I suppose you were right about not letting me go with that actor, he was probably trying to seduce me, he may’ve lied about some things but I know I could make it as an actress. I know I’m a natural, I’m sure you think I am too. It’s just the thought of wearing all those nice clothes, and my face being all made up to be filmed and seen by so many people, I could stay in one of them fancy hotels and get filmed, maybe I’d be on the radio too, and my purse wouldn’t ever open cause I would be in the movies. Once they’re done filming me I’d go back to Hollywood and meet with all the famous movie stars and we’d talk about the greatest films we starred in and it would be great. Never mind me I’m just a daydreamer! I do have a strong feeling, though, that sometime when I’m walking around town, fellas will turn their heads and say “Oh my God that’s Susan Turner!” then they would come up to me and ask for my autograph.
At least the folks there would respect me as a person, as someone special. The problem out here is all the boys can’t get any jobs for miles and they all know Curley well enough not to get him riled. Since Curley gets real jealous of me, all the boys are pissing their pants when they talk to me, cause they think if Curley sees, they’ll get fired. So they just back off if I try to chat. They’re so scared of Curley, they just plain tell me to go sometimes - even that nigger thought he could tell me to leave! Huh! And I wasn’t even talking to him! I do try to start conversation with folks, but no one wants to stay and talk a while with me. It’s all Curley’s fault. Sure, he may talk to me, but he don’t ever listen.
I hear the boys keep talking about getting their own land! I don’t know what you think about that! But since I’ve been out on the ranch, I met lots of people who talk like that. They talk and talk and nothing happens, they never get the money they need you see. Like this odd duck called Lennie. He’s got hope of getting his own land. He’s the one that busted Curley’s hand, I’m sure of it. Lennie says odd things like when I asked him “how did you get those bruises on your face” he says “Got his han’ caught in machine” I think he’s a retard. His friend tells him not to talk to me - because of Curley no doubt; most of them would know that already.
I do some times get real lonely here. There are no other women here either. If I catch one man on his own I get along fine with them, until they think Curley’s getting close. But I haven’t found one who had much to say.
Curley is just an ordinary bully; he stops me from talking to anyone but him. I tell you some times I feel like beating him too.
I suppose I would have been better off if I stayed with you. I made a mistake not listening to you and then I made another. I only married Curley to get away from home, not from you though, Mom. I really am not happy here, and well you know, at the top of this letter I said you could come and visit. Well I guess what I really meant to say was come and take me home with you, back to Salinas. I will work and earn us some money I promise! Just please - try to help me get out of here. Don’t you worry about Curley. I just have to be ready to go when he’s gone out whoring. I’m sure I can handle that!
Write me soon, Mom,
Your ever-loving daughter
Susan
