Overview of Animal Farm
George Orwell (who’s real name is Eric Blair) wrote animal farm in 1943 to describe how he felt about dictators and leaders during revolutions. A good example of this is Russian revolution (the events of which are paralleled in Animal Farm), Orwell believe that once leaders had achieved their goal, they should resign and let the community take over and a committee should make the decisions. However in the Russian revolution Josef Stalin (the leader in this case) did not resign and (in my words) became corrupt, as he thought that Capitalism no longer communism was the best way to go, the idea that the original plan that even was equal got thrown out the window after the revolution. People greed and hunger for power is overwhelming and each time someone has obtained this power it has been met with by conflict. The only way the human race has progressed (shall we say) is by the slaughter of one another. Most wars are a good example of this. However when someone does come to total power (totalitarianism) the community don’t realize what power they have in these situations. If one worker refuses to do his duty then he is met with conflict and is set t death or another form of punishment, but if the mass of them form together and protest then there is little that the person with total dominance can do, he has to met the problem with another solution than conflict, he has to agree to something that is in the best interest of the people. They see what will happen to an individual and become scared and don’t have the courage to stand up for what they believe is right. As we see in Animal Farm.
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Peer Reviews
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Quality of writing
The Quality of Written Communication is poor. There are frequent misuses of grammar and spelling is frequently inaccurate to the point that some sentences become ambiguous. This is not tolerable at a GCSE level and should be rectified with practise of the candidate's written clarity, paying close attention to small errors like "[Joseph Stalin] became corrupt, as he thought that Capitalism no longer communism was the best way to go", which features two missed commas that should be either side of "no longer Communism". Candidates should also avoid colloquialisms like "best way to go". There is an expectation that the candidate will write with Standard English and this expectation must be met.
Level of analysis
The Level of Analysis is fair, though there is possibly not enough exploration of the actual devices used or the terminology that recognises them. The literary devices must be identified as analysed; devices such as symbolism and naturalistic parallelism. As an analytical essay, there is no need for personal response e.g. - "I believe", "I think", etc. as the question concerns the effect on the audience/readers and therefore comments should be made thus: "[insert PEE (Point, Evidence & Explanation)] and the effect on the reader is that [...]". This way, the candidate is encouraging a direct focus on the intended audience of the novel/play/magazine/etc.
Response to question
The response given here is for a question focused on how Orwell creates the parallel of the Russian Revolution in his novel 'Animal Farm'. In it, the candidate refers to a number of parallelisms between the real life political event and the novel, showing a good understanding of analytical skills. I would like to see, as an improvement, more emphasis on the actual events of the novel with quotes, rather than the candidate paraphrasing on their own. Whilst this still shows a good understanding of the text, it is not sufficient evidence that they possess all the possible skills necessary to effectively analyse a text using the expected format. It would also be good practice to ensure that a full prose-style essay is written, with paragraphs as this is what is required of Standard English - making lists and sentences like "Capitalism - Communism - Capitalism" loses marks as the phrase could easily have been said in full sentences.