Release.I was in the only room where I could be myself, the only room where I could let out the constant pain within me, the only room where I could breathe. My bedroom.

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King-Wey Hii 10 Bonington                                                                                                       Monday, 7th July, 2003

English GCSE Coursework

Creative Writing

Release

I was in the only room where I could be myself, the only room where I could let out the constant pain within me, the only room where I could breathe. My bedroom. As I sat there in the middle of the room on the sun warmed pine floor, I gazed out the window at the handsome autumn colours of beige, mahogany and ochre. The scene was seemingly ‘perfect’ but there was something inside of me which I dared not speak about. I dreaded the mere thought of it, but it still managed to flood my mind every second and dominate my every thought. Even though my hate for them came from deep within my heart, a single thought of them managed to gain power over my actions and influence me in every way. Everyday I reached my absolute limit determined not to let this happen, but its power was inescapable.

The clock alarm went off at twenty past seven. It was another day and I had to face everything again. I remember waking up in the mornings having the same feeling inside of me. I immediately felt like crying and I just wanted to lay in bed forever. As my warm white sheets surrounded me, almost like a protective shield guarding me from dreadful reality, all I wanted was to stay there and sleep. Sleep, my only escape.

As my mother’s car neared the old, black, rusty gates, I felt as if my body was separate from my mind. My mind was elsewhere with a million worries, anxieties and fears running though it, and my body was against me. It was my body which made me get up every morning, and it was my body which hauled me up the long gravel path to the classroom.

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Whenever I crept into the classroom, I had the same sensation contained inside of me. It was the feeling of shame and yet a slight fleck of relief. I can only predict that this sense of relief came about from the release of anxiety which overpowered my life when I was not in school. I looked around myself at the sea of faces which all stared at me in a certain way of which they all decided to make identical to one another. It was a look of disgust and anger, which said, “We’re better than you, and we’re ...

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