Today was the day that manhood training began. A man of which I think is my father put a rag/hood over my heads and handed me over to some men which had other many boys in. Then the men told us to put our left arm on the person in front of us shoulder and follow them. The men around us had stick of which they hit us with if you stepped out of line (which I tried not to do but did accidentally twice). The men I think took us first through the village, then through the large pit, then the forest and finally we made it to the place we were heading to or as I like to call it manhood camp! It seemed when the men took our hoods off we were in the middle of a forest with little room around us. The den seemed strange with many skins from various animals stuck on the trees and hanging from the branches. Once I had time to look around the hoods were taken off me and my fellow friends and we were then introduced to the leader of manhood ‘Kuntgo’ the one rule that the Kuntgo has is that everyone obeys and listens to him. The men shoved us down on the ground and put us in a circle, the leader, Kuntgo then told us what would happen if we failed manhood, we would never marry or have children as our off spring would be failures wouldn’t succeed in manhood either. Then Kuntgo told me the one thing to do in tribal war, one thing that I will never forget ‘the tribal men of the Mandinka should see where the enemy is and surround them on three sides leaving them a gap to escape, never kill the enemy as the son of the enemy will become your new enemy then when you kill them their sons will become your enemy and it will carry on until you will eventually die, no object is more valuable than a man’s life!’ That is the one test he told us that will make you a warrior! Then we had a test of strength against the biggest, strongest man Kuntgo could find he’s called Karawang. I failed once but did I give up, no I didn’t I tried again and again I failed three times but eventually I was in so much pain I just had to give up. Afterwards Karawang took me aside to teach me what courage really is, not the warthog kind as the warthog never retreats – never gives up, always ends up either hurt or dead! That was one lesson that I won’t forget soon. My next task was to catch a bird, but the one catch was that the bird can’t die or be injured. The bird must be alive. But on my expedition I came across Fanta a wonderful young woman who was at the time sorting out all of her stuff but myself here had to knock it all over so her father came over to me and made me go and apologize just when there was a bird about a foot away from me! Getting on my way, trying to find another bird I saw white, yes white men. They had around fourteen slaves following them with ropes around their necks and shackles on their hands and feet. The white men had whips and guns as well as many other torture tools to hit our people with. The bird I had caught just before started to try and escape, it started flapping and I could have sworn the white man saw me, yet he didn’t shot at me, he shot at the bird (and missed). As soon as they were out of sight I ran, I ran as fast as I could to get back to camp, to warn all the others about the white men and where I saw them. At first the Kuntgo told me that I failed and that I would never pass the task of manhood. Then I had to explain that the white men were close and that they had slaves with them. The Kuntgo then warned us that the white men will take us if we aren’t careful, he told us to never be alone during the day or night, if we are alone during day/night keep away from high grass or reeds and bushes. If you see smoke away from any village it’s probably white men with fires far too big. And remember if you have been close to where he has been his scent will remain in the air, the white men smell like wet chicken and most importantly where I saw the white men is about a two day walk for any white men, and the white men are now here! The next day there was one last, final challenge that all of us boys had to go through so that we could succeed in the task of manhood, circumcision. At first the men put a mixture on our foreskin; it takes away all the feeling for most of it. We then get hit with the branch on a bush then they use a long knife and slice the foreskin off. We then boys came back to our village as men, the village welcomed us all back with music and dancing. All of our family and friends were there to greet us. The best part about it all was when my father gave me the sash to say that I was now part of the Mandinka tribe. When I got back to the village I found that my father had built me a hut of my own, so to repay my family I decided to build my younger brother a drum, something he always wanted.
So today, early in the morning I walked out to the forest to try and find a large hollow log in which to be the base of the drum. I knew something was wrong when the monkeys swinging in the trees started screeching, I looked up and I realised that there was men white and black surrounding me. I started running as fast as I could but I just couldn’t seem to lose them then when the two black men with whips came in front of me. I just knew I was going to be a tortured. I started panicking, one man came up to me with shackles, I got my knife out and stabbed him, I stabbed him right in the chest, killed him straight away. The men managed to get me in the shackles, I tried to get out of them I really did but it was no use I was destined to die or be a slave either way, my future isn’t looking to good.
January 6th 1766
Dear diary,
A few weeks ago now I was captured, (on the way I must of dropped my bag which had my sling – shot and spare knife in, in which might have helped me escape) and put in some wood like cage with a door that is attached with ropes. If you really wanted to you could escape but at the white man camp a few people did try to escape but got shot down or tortured with whips. Plus if you wanted to escape you would have to persuade around ten people to escape as well as you were attached to each other by the rope that was tied around each of our necks. The white men talk differently to us, they talk in a weird sort of accent and language to us. They call us ‘Nigas’ which personally I think is calling us animals. After spending around an hour in there I saw the wrestler from manhood training, after seeing him tied by the neck I realised just how strong and slick the white men really are. Now I feel weak, really weak, I find it hard to stand now there are so many in our cage and the people I am tied to keep moving making the rope rub against my neck. I bet that right now my tribe the Mandinka as well as my father are looking for me. I bet they have found my bag; my mother would be distraught if my father would have returned with my bag but not me in person. As I was wondering that I remember seeing Fanta she was getting whipped as she kept standing out of line. I felt like going up to the white men and beating them up until they all were dead, they are the enemies of any tribe in Africa. Fanta got put in the same cage as me, I remember her saying that her family, (her father in particular) is still alive but her father didn’t cry out Fantas name he just cried out which makes me think he was crying out for his life. After spending a great amount of time in the cages we were put in small rowing boats, around three of us at one time and we were put on the ship, (which I think was called the ‘Lord Ligonier’) the hand and feet shackles were on and we were left.
Once we were on the boat we could hear music, white music. It was like a sort of echo and the annoying thing is was that it just kept repeating itself over and over and over again. My stomach kept coming up every time the boat rocked up and down, and because we were right below the deck we got the worst of the rocking it was horrible. Also it was really dark, the only source of light we got was when the white men came down and the hatch was open or the small squares that are our only source of fresh air. After about a week down there the smells were unbearable, all you could smell was vomit, and the waste coming from the body of all the men laying there. Men started getting restless many died others were dying. They were moaning, coughing, sneezing, and screaming, yelping for help. There were shackles on our hands and feet attached to the people next to us meaning it we moved we were in more pain then we were before. I talked to the wrestler quite a lot as he was a person away from me and when the person took their last breath on this planet it was like we were right next to each other. We were talking about what the white men were doing to us and how we would escape go back to West Africa. I find that preying to Allah gives me hope, puts my mind at ease. ‘Allah the merciful, Allah all powerful, Allah the compassionate, please hear my preys, Allah, Allah please.’ Every time the white man comes in everyone reaches, as far as they could to reach the keys around the man’s neck in hope for freedom. And when the man eventually does undo the shackles around our feet he pulls us out of where we lay like dead meat waiting to be stewed. When we all do get out the sun, the light it blinded is so much so I found it hard to concentrate when we were down below deck I kept thinking that when I was on deck I could jump overboard and swim to the river bank. But now that I am on deck I cannot see any river banks, the earth, the earth is gone! As soon as we were on deck the white men started to throw water at us it was stung like mad, then they whipped our feet making us jump to the music, of which a white man was playing and a black man like me in shackles beating the drum. Which I assume was to get us exercised. As we were doing that the wrestler pointed out to me who the man in charge was, the white captain. To try and scare the captain and the ship’s crew I decided to curse them in saying ‘white deaf’ which they didn’t understand but we did and all of our people joined in. While we were on deck the white men were cleaning out where we were sleeping or as they put it mucking it out, they were getting rid of all the dead bodies. Once we were put back below deck we were given a litre of water and a plate full of white food, which at first I didn’t eat as it made my stomach come up but the wrestler told me to eat the white man’s food to be strong, and kill the white men. Straight after the wrestler told me that the man next to me took his last sigh; this of course freaked me out making me scream, after screaming the white men took the shackles off him properly and through him over board.
Then I fell into a dream ... the wrestler awoke me. I told him that I was having a dream and explained what my dream was about. I then said that I was a warrior running through the forest faster than I have ever ran before, I had a spear in my hand and I was chasing a great, huge bird, Its wing span going from one river bank to the other. It then turned and flew towards me at great speed, then I saw it was white, all white, and its flapping wings picked me up and choked me then it chomped me up, I opened my eyes and I was here in the belly of such a terrible bird.
The wrestler then told me that the Mandinka warriors never give up we discussed how we could escape, I then had to point out to him that we all spoke different words, he replied by saying all the men and women on this boat are now one village we are now all brothers. He told everyone on our part of the boat to talk to the man next to you teach him your words, learn his as from now on we are all one village and together we will all kill the white men. After the wrestler told everyone what to do they listened and talked with each other to learn their words.
This next day started out like any other day but this day we had a plan a plan to kill the white men. As usual we were getting whipped at the feet, being forced to jump in time with the music the white people are playing. We all noticed the key that hung around the neck of the white man standing in front of myself, but all of a sudden two of our women came out and ran across the deck, (or wenches as the white men call them) Fanta was one of them. One of them climbed onto the ropes, she then in a matter of seconds jumped off saying something which I couldn’t seem to understand. While one of the men in charge hits one of the ship’s crew I went over to talk to Fanta, I told her that a Mandinka maiden must have strength in which she responded that she is no longer a maiden of the Mandinka. Just before the attack I made one last prayer to Allah and that was it. I shouted ‘deaf to the white men’ and everyone charged at the man with the shackles key. During this battle the white men shot at us and us through them over board, as well as suffocating them with the chains attaching us to each other. I killed a white man with a knife I found on the floor to save the wrestler but a few minutes after that a white man let off a huge gun which killed nearly every black man on deck at that time.
Afterwards I got punished by getting whipped until I was nearly uncurious and put back under deck until the end of the journey, which by the way lasted around six to twelve weeks. After being down there another week I got really wrestles wondering should I just give in and die. Then all of a sudden we stopped, we hit land, but unfortunately it was white land.
30th September 1767
Dear diary,
Yesterday we arrived in Annapolis, Maryland. As soon as we got there we were put in cages for a few hours before we got taken out one by one, so the white man could have a look at us. I was the first one to go and be examined at first I thought this would be a good time in which to try and escape which only put me in more pain as I got whipped, again and again every time I tried to escape.
The white man had this table which had two bowls one which had red liquid in (I think it was water but was red from all the other means blood which came on the other ship. Oh, by the way when we were waiting in the cage into the white man’s land another ship pulled up it was called ‘The Brookes’ and the men and women in my cage were saying how it could hold double the men and women which were on our ship. It can carry 200 – 240 people in it, it must have been huge.
As I was saying there were two bowls on the table, one which had red liquid in and the other one has dark, sticky liquid in (the white men were saying it was pine tar or something) anyway the red liquid was on first which didn’t hurt at all, but the black liquid was like someone was whipping you in the same spot for hours on end.
Once I had gone through the pure torture it was someone else’s turn and it was the same routine for everyone. Sitting in the cage I realised there were many different white people and black people talking there language, I told myself then and there I was never going to worship anyone other than Allah. I was in a different cage to Fanta but I could still see her, I spent ages just looking at her through the metal bars. We spent the night in them cages people were crying, and some were sleeping. I went over to talk to Fanta, she was looking at the moon and saying how she hopes the moon here is different to the moon in our land as she would hate her mother and brother to see that moon but can’t see her. Over this journey Fanta has learned one valuable lesson and that is how to stay alive. Then she walked off and stood at a different corner of her cage and gazed at the moon.
In the morning many white and black men all speaking the same language came over and peered into the cages looking at us like we were nothing like them, looking at us like we were pieces of dirt. Then the drum started to beat and they drag Fanta out of her cage, I looked at the men annoyed petrified for her life. Then man with the hammer started talking really fast which I could see scared Fanta a lot and after a few minutes Fanta was sold to Robert Kalbert, who lived in West Virginia and she was sold for 115 pounds.
Then it was my turn. The white men dragged me out of my cage and I struggled as hard as I could but they eventually got me up to the stand. The man once more talks fast, faster than I have ever heard anyone talk before in my life. Then I was sold to a man called John Reynolds, who lives in Virginia for 155 pounds. He renamed me Toby and took me to Spotsylvania.
February 15th 1768
Dear diary,
Over the past few weeks I have had to learn the language of the white people, what they call The Kings English. Here at Master Reynolds house I have met many black men and women like myself but they all talk perfect English and have forgot there tribal language. I have made a promise to myself that I will never, ever forget the Mandinka tribe and language also I have met this man, my tutor. He’s called Finley he speaks perfect English and has to teach me it so Master Reynolds doesn’t get annoyed. He is now a Christian, a Christian is someone that worships a god but not the same one as us, he has forgot all about Allah the all mighty, so has all the villagers’ here they all talk and worship the same god, the white English. Finley brings me the food and water I need at the end of the day, I mainly eat the leftovers from the master’s dinner or something the cook in the kitchen has cooked for me. The white food doesn’t taste as good as the food at home, Africa but its food. Now my stomach no longer comes up when I eat the white man’s food; the plates and cups which I drink/eat from here is so different to them back home here it’s made from something called clay, its most peculiar as if it drops on the ground it smashes into many pieces of different shapes, it’s weird. Even here at the masters house I have to wear shackles on my feet but I no longer need to have hand shackles on (Finley says it will make working on Masters grounds harder and slow). I sleep/eat/drink in hut Master made for me out of wood he has provided me with a blanket (also known as a quilt) and straw (so I don’t have to sleep in dirt). This hut has a hole in it called a window which lets fresh air in.
The jobs I have to do on Masters land varies, for example one day I might be looking after his horses and other animals the next I might be on the field working with the crops chopping them down, digging, planting the seeds, watering, as well as many other things. Some of the jobs I don’t have to do/aren’t aloud to do are cook for the master, do the cleaning in master’s house, work in the carriages, but there are many more jobs. Everyone has their own job. If there was one job I would love to do it would be either cook or work with the carriages, taking Master where ever he wants to go. I would like to cook as you could take extra food to eat and you can be in the warmth of the kitchen, on the other hand I would like to work in the carriages as you could explore the white man’s land and see outside Masters grounds.
Some of the jobs that I have to do in order to stay/eat/drink are chopping down the corn, planting seeds, looking after all the animals’ they have got here, as well as learning the white man’s language.
Once within the two weeks I have been here I have escaped, I managed to find a piece of a metal blade in the fields whilst I worked and hid it in my trousers until it was time to go back into my hut every night for three nights I worked until dawn sawing away at the shackles until it split, I was then free. But Finley just happened to walk in and find there was a break in the link, he wasn’t happy. He started going on about how the Master would hurt Finley take all of his pleasures in life at that time away. In the end though he told me to take the food he had just brought him and run, run as fast as he could as in the morning the Master will search for you with his men and hound dogs. He warned me that if he heard the howling of dogs he should run as fast as he could away from the howls. But in the end the Master caught me he took me back to my hut in shackles, I was left there for a week before the master handed me over to a man that wouldn’t stop whipping me until I told him my name is Toby. Now that was pure and utter torture!
