Nic Nobby November 22, 2010
Surveillance in modern society
When we look back the last twenty or thirty years, there had not been any wars comparable to those in former years or centuries. Though, terrorism has become a terrifying phenomenon that occurs in the whole world. Nowadays, politicians are expected to prevent acts of terrorism such as an in New York, London or Baghdad. This issue might be summarized via the following statement: Preventing terrorism, we have to give up a certain amount of liberty.
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Peer Reviews
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Quality of writing
The Quality of Written Communication is fantastic. There are no issues with grammar, spelling or punctuation. The confidence with which the candidate writes is an excellent manifestation of their ability to express ideas. With a range of complex vocabulary and variations in sentences structures, this essay remains consistently interesting throughout.
Level of analysis
This candidate demonstrates an excellent capability to construct effective arguments, as stated before. There is evidence of a very an adeptness with arguing techniques. My only quandary with the essay is that there is a distinct lack of statistics and/or factual evidence gained from more reputable sources (e.g. the candidate could implement statistics about the number of surveillance cameras in major cities in the 1980s and now the 2000s). Other than that there is little to dispute, as this is a highly competent essay, which has clearly seen the candidate take a lot of time in order to ensure their essay is of the optimum quality. Whilst this may seem quite hard for some candidate under time constraints, it is important to practice being able to write well under allotted time.
Response to question
This is a stellar essay, and an excellent example of what can come of a Writing to Argue task. The candidate makes a good argument that remains interesting in it ability to consider a number of different viewpoints. The candidate has clearly conducted external research to help fortify their answer and give them more knowledge of the subject they are arguing, and this leads to a more effective argument if it appears the candidate is an expert in the area of their discussion. Because of this knowledge of surveillance, the examiner will be shown a candidate who writes confidently and expresses their points with clarity and precision - all the indicators of someone operating at a high A grade for GCSE.