I walked a few metres and I saw the horse watching me intently, I felt unnerved and uneasy about being watched .It had an unpleasant and menacing presence. I started to shiver and shake so I went to hide under a tree to protect myself and my clothes from the rain. I huddled beside the trunk, trying to fight the cold and the hair on my neck prickled slightly.
I sat next to the tree and kept looking at its trunk to clear my mind and suddenly the horse was standing in front of me, its head high watching me with its vicious eyes. I looked away and then turned back to see if the horse had moved. It stood exactly as before. After a few seconds the horse was on top of me, its head stretching forward and its legs kicking out then it disappeared. It happened so quick I didn’t get the chance to fight or escape.
I got up furiously, my clothes sodden and muddy. The animal was mad and out of control and I wanted to leave as quickly as possible, rain or no rain.
The horse went down towards the wood and my way to the farm was clear. I began walking to the farm over the hill and suddenly I saw the horse again as tall as a mighty stallion, so I hid myself behind a bank for safety. At that moment I knew that the horse was watching and waiting for me. The horse attacked me again so I fell backward down the bank and leapt again like a madman. My suit was torn and my legs were shaking then the horse disappeared. So I sat down gasping for breath and rested and I said to myself I'm a boxer, how could this happen to me?
I took a deep breath to steady my fast beating heart and gain control and confidence. My suit was torn and my jacket was splashed with mud and dirt. I was convinced that the horse was definitely after me.
It was late and the sun started to set, and the sky got darker, the rain became heavier. I ran to escape from this hell but on my way I saw the horse again in the middle of the clearing. The evil look was still in him. This time I decided to defend and protect myself. I picked up three stones each about the size of an ostrich egg. I could have killed the horse at that moment. Whoever owned this horse deserved to be punished for letting such a dangerous animal roam freely.
I threw the stones at the evil horse but I kept missing. My muscles grow tired and my shoulder began to really hurt. My adrenaline was pumping as my energy and confidence slowly ebbed away. Finally one of the boulders struck the horse and it swirled him away. I began slowly to climb the crest of the hill as the horse watched me carefully before disappeared out of sight.
The rain swept into my face and it was freezing. My clothes were sodden and muddy and I needed return to the farm across miles of dark fields to get to the station. I just didn’t care anymore what the horse did. I was in a bad mood when I think about it. I was ashamed of myself.
I arrived at the last field and I looked around. The horse looked tiny on the skyline and had not moved. The rain was dissolving the fields like soap. It looked desolate and lifeless.
I went back to the station and caught the next train back to London. When I got home, I changed my sodden clothes. My legs were still shaking. My heart was beating fast as if it was going to burst and I felt exhausted. Then I started to think did this really happen to me?
Here's what a teacher thought of this essay
The writing in the second half of this piece is more developed than the first half and should be used as the model for the whole piece. Try and remember that variety is needed to gain high marks - variety in vocabulary, punctuation, sentence structure and paragraphing. 4 Stars