• Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month

The Ultimate Tale.

Extracts from this document...


The Ultimate Tale In the kingdom of Tanktarta lived many a strange beast and mad priest. They were ruled over by their wise and noble leader, The Brick. Outside the kingdom, in the Black Castle lived the evil Dark Lord Beryl, who was viciously jealous of the brick and the power he held, but no one really took any notice of him. Well everything in the kingdom was just peachy so The Bricks daughter, Princess Jeremy Whelk, went for a walk around the kingdom. The princess was a beautiful blonde, aged 18-22 who loved wearing slightly revealing pink tops. She would have been even more beautiful had it not been for her long black beard. Meanwhile, back at The Bricks palace, a warning was read out to the rest of the kingdom not to go too close to the Black Castle, for many a naughty deed is done there. Unfortunately, at that time the princess was pretty much at the gates of the Black Castle. Whilst sniffing a rather yummy turnip she noticed a movement in a nearby bush. As Jeremy moved closer, out jumped a little man dressed in tweed. 'Hello Princess', squealed the man. ...read more.


To the castle. Hurry. Hmmm', and with that the man shuffled away into the forest. After a little practice Durex was flying well and was now well on his way to the Black Castle to meet his destinyyyyyy......... At the castle Durex thought of a way to get inside and rescue the princess. He didn't even try the front door as they are always locked and guarded, he went round the back to the broken, unlocked screened door that most evil castles have. He made his way quickly through the darkness, following only his instincts and the neon signs giving directions to the secret den and dungeon. Durex saw the Dark Lord pacing up and down his dank den, in front of the princess who was tied and gagged in the corner. Durex somersaulted into the room, rolled across the floor, sprang up, whirled his poking stick above his head and landed in a very heroic fighting stance known as the smelly fish. 'Oh it's you', said Beryl, with a yawn 'Yes, tis I', said Durex, disappointed by the lack of reaction to his dramatic entrance. Beryl pulled out his deadly courgette and made for the hero, wailing an ancient battle cry. ...read more.


The slug munched the leaves and followed the trail to the statue. 2 days later he arrived, after Durex had tried to chew his own leg off in hunger. As the slug finished the last leaf Durex jumped out and trod on the notorious slug. 'You have accomplished the task', said Dmitri, appearing from no where, 'Woohoohoo for you-hoo', he sang as he removed an elephant from his large tash and ate it. A great party was held in honour of Mighty Durex and the success of his quest. Huge tables were laid with food, Queen's songs sang, people danced, and there was much rejoicing. Brian, who had survived the attack, was revealed as the cheating scum that he was and often accused of supporting the scum (Ar...Ars...., Can't say it) He was given a Michael Jackson make over and banished to France. Afterwards there was a beautiful wedding ceremony between Mighty Durex and Princess Jeremy Whelk. Beautiful, even though the apparently mad priest randomly yelled out words in mid speech poo for example, or willy. Durex became the new king with Jeremy as his faithful queen, and, as he sat with her looking out at the sunset he thought.......hang on a minute..........I'm gay! THE END? Hopefully! ...read more.

The above preview is unformatted text

This student written piece of work is one of many that can be found in our GCSE JRR Tolkien section.

Found what you're looking for?

  • Start learning 29% faster today
  • 150,000+ documents available
  • Just £6.99 a month

Not the one? Search for your essay title...
  • Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month

See related essaysSee related essays

Related GCSE JRR Tolkien essays

  1. How do the makers of 'Shrek' use presentational devices to reverse this tradition to ...

    Donkey ignores signs that Shrek doesn't want him around and continues to question him. Shrek then shouts, "What am I?" which is meant to scare Donkey but fails as Donkey's reply is, "Really tall?" Shrek fails to stop Donkey from following him.

  2. How do the makers of Shrek use presentational devices to reverse the tradition of ...

    Unbeknown to Shrek fairytale characters have been evicted by Lord Farquaad and came to Shreks swamp. Shrek noticed three mice on his table and up his shoulder. It is comedy as he fails to catch the mice. Shrek shouts "I'm a terrifying Ogre, what do I have to do to get a little privacy?"

  1. The prince usually rescues the princess, they marry and live happily ever after. How ...

    When Donkey approaches, Shrek roars at him and tries to intimidate him, Donkey is not frightened and Donkey responds to Shrek by laughing at him and is not intimated. Donkey says "You need some tic-tacs" Donkey ridicules Shrek about his bad breath. Donkey questions Shrek; Shrek shouts "What am I?"

  2. How do the makers of Shrek use presentational devices to reverse the tradition, to ...

    He identifies his true feelings and without him we would not know what is on Shrek's mind.

  1. How do the makers of Shrek use presentational devices to reverse this tradition, to ...

    the scene and gives the ending a magical feel, which is more like a traditional fairy tale. Light in the film is mostly used to show a good or bad presence in the film. It also shows characters happiness throughout the film.

  2. Shrek - how do the makers change the traditional fairy tale?

    Donkey is forced to sleep outside while Shrek stays inside. As Shrek sits down for a meal, the dark lighting and soft music give the scene a feeling of loneliness, which makes the audience feel sad for Shrek. When the fairy tale creatures turn up in the swamp, Shrek tries to scare them away by shouting loudly.

  1. How do the makers of Shrek use presentational devices to reverse the tradition of ...

    Shreks character does not want to keep hurting people all the time and wants to discuss issues - being an ogre does not always mean fighting. The knight decline his offer and follow Lord Farquaads request to "tab at him" (Shrek).

  2. In traditional fairy tales, ogres are man-eating beasts, the Prince rescues the Princess and ...

    Donkey and Shrek then visit Duloc. The audience begins to see the characters as a partnership because they don't seem to be as snappy with each other as before and they later team up to beat the guards in the Duloc arena.

  • Over 160,000 pieces
    of student written work
  • Annotated by
    experienced teachers
  • Ideas and feedback to
    improve your own work