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To Kill A MockingbirdInterior Monologue: Mayella Ewell

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Clara Tang 10D To Kill A Mockingbird?Interior Monologue: Mayella Ewell I stood on my porch and let my mind trace back to everything that had happened since I accused Tom Robinson of taking advantage of me. It was the first time I had fully allowed myself to think through what I?ve done and be aware of it. I couldn?t help accusing Tom. I know deep in my heart that it was wrong but I was in panic. My father had seen us and if he found out the truth, all the things I could think of him doing to me were unspeakable. My father?s actions weren?t the only reason why fear had flooded my mind that evening, blocking my thoughts from thinking straight. How Maycomb would think of me if they found out the truth behind my selfish accusation, these were all living nightmares lingering inside my head waiting to come alive. ...read more.


When Judge Taylor asked me to tell him what I remember happened, it felt as if I missed one of the bullets and it struck into my heart. This caused me to burst into tears. While Judge Taylor and everyone else in the room thought this was an act of sorrow from what had happened between Tom and me, it was guilt. Pure guilt and regret haunted my mind. At that moment, I had silently confirmed to myself that I regretted being with Tom that day. I regretted my actions and I regretted my words. I wanted to take them back but they were already scattered out in the air for everyone in Maycomb to remember. When I told my story of that day, each lie that escaped my lips was a fear that somehow, it wouldn?t be enough to convince Judge Taylor or Mr. ...read more.


Only, running had made him seem like he was guilty. It didn?t matter though, he would still be declared guilty in most of Maycomb?s hearts. After all, he?s a Negro. No, he?d be declared guilty anyway because of me. What I said about him played a huge part in this case. He talked about how he was scared he?d need to face up to what he didn?t do, which made my fists clench tightly together. Then came the mentioning of how he was glad to help me. Was he deliberately trying to make me feel bad? If he was, it worked. Almost every word he let out slithered around inside my head like a snake?s venom overpowering, trying to take over my emotions. I stopped my thoughts and stared at the sky from my view on the porch, aiming to think of something else to create a barrier between my memories and my feelings. I let my thoughts rest. I didn?t want to think about the Tom Robinson case any more than I already have. ...read more.

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