The thing with you is that you just can’t help yourself. Stradlater started talking for ages about Jane Gallagher and his date with her and you were stunned by this information. So when you stopped talking he just asked you. “Will you do it for me then?” and you gave in to him. It didn’t take any persuasion. Nothing.
Later on in your letter, you talked about meeting this pimp, Maurice, in a lift. He asked you if you wanted to have some fun that night. Why? Why did you say yes? You don’t have to have a prostitute to have a good time. They are for sick, old perverts, not a sixteen-year-old, Holden. When the girl turned up, you should have just given her the money and made her leave. You didn’t even have to talk to her. She had her own life and she either wanted to have sex or go back to sleep. When that pimp came back because you didn’t give the girl enough money you should have just given the money to him. In your description he sounded huge, so I would have given him it. Why didn’t you just give him the $5 and let them leave? It wasn’t a lot of money; you had about $300 with you. What’s $5 when you have all that dough? You would at least have saved your face from getting smashed in.
I just do not know what we will do with you. You don’t like school and you don’t like being in the city by yourself. You have to forget about Allie; yeah he was great, but there is more important stuff to be getting on with like getting good grades and finding new mates.
Holden, why couldn’t you just call up Mum and Dad and ask to come home? You could have told them what you told me and they would understand, I know they would. They love us both and Phoebe would also want to try to help you through this rough patch.
Talking of Phoebe, can you remember how she would just butt into our conversations when she was young? We would be talking and then she would ask, “So, who was this?” or “Who said that?” I went back to see them last year. She hasn’t changed a bit. Maybe she’s is a bit taller and a bit more intelligent, but she’s still the same old whimsical, country Phoebe inside. She was missing you when I left and she kept on asking when you were coming back home. Mum just told her you would be back at the end of the school term. Everyone hopes you will come back at the end of the next school term, Holden. We all miss you and the smiles you bring to our faces. Sorry to sound soppy. It’s what this Hollywood lifestyle, with all their romantic scripts, do to you sometimes!
Now I would like to talk to you about your little rendezvous with Sally Hayes. Why did you want to hang around with a self-obsessed blonde in the first place? You could have rung up Jane or even Lillian Simmons; you know, my ex. You rang her up at just after 10 o’clock, and asked her if she wanted to go out that day. She said “Yes” but you could have rung her in advance. You had a pretty awful date. The Lunts were playing – Her Favourite! After that you went skating when you can’t even skate. What is the point of that? You didn’t have to waste your money doing that crap. Then, out of the blue, you asked her to run away with you. WHY? It was pretty obvious she was going to say no. A high-class girl like that living out of a suitcase isn’t likely. Then you went all psycho on her and started ranting. You should have never even made that date with her in the first place. She is a stuck-up little show-off who is bound to make your life a goddam hell.
One last point I just want to say, stop living in the past. Allie is dead. He has been for nearly five years now. You have to get over his death. I have, Phoebe has, and so have Mum and Dad. Yeah we miss him but life goes on. It might be hard to hear but that is why you are in such a goddam mess. Before he died, you were doing fine in school, and enjoying yourself. Now you have been through four schools and wondering which school to go to next. If you could get it together it would really help your school life and yourself. I think you need to take one long look at yourself and think, what has happened to me? Allie wouldn’t want you to be acting this way.
I hope the help you are getting from the psychoanalyst is good and that it is helping you to try to get on with your life. I had to go and see the Doctor recently because I have been suffering quite bad migraines with all the Hollywood noise and all.
In about four months it is my wedding and I would really like you to turn up and wish me good luck. I think that she is the one for me. I have bought her a nice little Mercedes for a wedding day present in a cherry red colour. So, if everything goes to plan, will I see you soon?
Hope you get better Holden,
D.B
P.S – Enclosed is $500, try to spend it wisely bro!
