I wonder who that “someone” is, I think they’re paying for my treatment here too, the nurses told me this place is a private hospital, it must be expensive to keep me here; I wish I could remember who this person might be. I don’t think anyone has come to visit me yet, I thought someone came yesterday but when I called out, no one answered, I can’t ask for someone, because I don’t remember anyone. I want to know so much, but I don’t know how to find out, I can’t see anything, so I’ve got nothing to trigger any sort of memory. I feel so lost, I just don’t know what to do. The doctors said that my memory and sight might return eventually and that’s about the only thing I have to look forward to at the moment – the only thing that gives me hope. Eventually – that can be any time, could be another nine years wasted.
“Ellie, I’m going to have to take the computer away know”
That was my nurse; I bet the machine typed that in.
Day 2
Something really strange happened; I had a dream (or rather a nightmare) in my dream I could see. I saw a girl she was running away, and I knew – as if the memory had always been there - that she had been hitch hiking and someone pulled up and offered her a lift then the car got hijacked – the hijackers killed the driver and were running after her. I have no idea how I knew this, when all I could see was a frightened girl running towards me, in the middle of a forest on a rainy night. As she got closer I could feel how scared she was – and at that moment I knew the killer was waiting for her, behind the tree she was running towards I called out “don’t go there. Cindy. Don’t go there”. Then I woke up. I have no idea how I knew what had happened before I saw her, or how I knew her name. It had all felt so real.
Maybe it was because I hadn’t had a dream in so long, that this dream had felt different. Or maybe it was because I had no memory so my mind was making up total fiction to dream about. Or worse what if it was a memory – did I watch someone being killed? Was I an accomplice? Or was I her friend? But if I was her friend why didn’t I help her? Oh – this is so weird. I have no idea what that dream was, or even if it was a dream. I’m scared of going to sleep know, incase I have more of those dreams; I don’t want to know about my past if it was so terrible. I’d rather have a new start without knowing my past.
“Ellie, time’s up”
“Where’s nurse Jennings”
“o – Ellie – Cindy was shot yesterday, her body was found in a forest”
