I hated this, boys guts!
“She’s my daughter to, so I’ll do what I want.”
*************
It’s really funny how all it takes is one slight glance at his eyes and you’re already in love with him.
HE WAS BEAUTIFUL
Hearing Jordell’s name a couple of years ago, instantly made my heart skip a beat, but now hearing any sound even similar to his name sends on going shivers down my spine.
Free period had just ended and I was making my way to tutor on my own. Minding my own business I walked down the hall-way of the school hugging my chemistry book, when a tall hooded figure came and bumped right into me, causing me to drop my book.
“Watch were your going.” I shouted standing there crossing my arms.
"Sorry," he replied whilst he picked up the book, and then handed it back to me. Seconds later he pulled off his hood and what I saw truly amazed me, I’d never seen him around school before but that was the last thing on my mind.
I was absolutely lost for words as I examined his whole body and appearance with my mouth wide open. I gazed into his big hypnotic brown eyes allowing the warmth coming from his body to silence my anger completely and cover it up with this new love that I had found for him
I’ll never forget that day
That moment
That second
The feelings I felt as soon as my eyes locked with his
The emotions that ran through my body as he handed me back my book
The butterflies I got in my stomach as he smiled at me.
From then on Jordan and I started speaking to each other much more seeing more and more of each other, on the 14th February Jordell asked me out.
That day was the best day of my 13 years of living, the day that Jordell Harris and I became an official "Couple".
I loved him and he loved me.
Nothing could go wrong, I kept reassuring myself
I was determined that we would stay together forever as I was truly feeling the full definition of love struck by cupids magnificent and wonderful arrow.
A year later and are relationship was still going strong - strong and Invincible, all until the subject of making love came into the picture
What a life changing day that was, what a dramatic relationship we suffered after that one day, that one accident, that one error of forgetting to use protection! Two hours of pleasure but a lifetime of pain; I now chant as my tears stream down my cheeks without falling, each day that opens and closes.
Now 2 yrs after that night has gone past, I wake up without Jordell laying beside me whispering with his warm breath against my neck that repeating "everything will be okay." but instead that same ear-splitting sound of that biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my life!
Mine and Jordell’s 18 months yr old Daughter - Aneekaa Clarisa James-Harris- If only I could relive the naughty manoeuvres of 2 years ago. I would have overlooked it with a passion!
Its Crazy how a baby can change your life in some of the worst ways ever:
Now
Jordell and I decided to break up and just avoid each other for a while, I still see him round school but we only really talk if it’s about Aneekaa, my mum kicked me out and I’m now living with my Nan and I’m officially in yr 11.
Who ever thought that the duration of 2 hours in a 24 hour day could lead to so much drama?
*************
“Who do you think you are talking to? I’m not one of your stupid little friends that you can talk to anyhow, now give me back my daughter.”
A crowd swiftly surrounded us and by that we knew it was war!
Can’t disappoint the public now, can we?
“Don’t get me started on your mum.” Jordell spat
“OOOOOOOOOOOOO!! “Everyone chorused
“Go on then, what’s there to say” I provoked him
Then Aneekaa started shouting “MUMMY, DADDY STOPP!” whilst crying loudly. He really doesn’t understand the way, she stopped him from ultimate embarrassment, because the way I was about to pick up my foot to attack him was something like emotional. He makes me so ANNOYED man, but obviously Aneekaa comes first, so I had to tone my hype down just for her sake. The crowed deformed from around us once Aneekaa stopped making her noise.
“Mummy and daddy was just having a loud discussion boo, nothing serious...” Jordell stated
“Yeah honey.” I agreed
“Do you love each other?” she asked with her innocent grey eyes peering from one of us to the other
“urmmm yeah” we both said in unison sounding uncertain.
Still in Jordell’s arms, she gave us a look to say she didn’t believe us, so we both stared at each other, in conclusion to try and figure out what to do. We looked at each other for sometime, completely clueless of ways to help the situation. Time went past and by now I had fully given up on the whole thing, when Jordell randomly wrapped his free arm around my waist, drew me closer to him, stared into my eyes and whispered so, only me him and Aneekaa could hear,
“Yes Neeka, we love each other.”
His approach
Movement
Gesture
Words
Tone of voice
Defined amazing!
I knew he never meant it, but I couldn’t, help but wish he did.
Instantly, after he said what he did, the slightest feelings I had for him, when our love was new and fresh, crept back into my system and rested in my heart.
We just stood there.
Stood there in the middle of the open bus stop, forgetting about all the people around us, and embracing the magical moment we had just shared.
Jordell securely held Aneekaa tight with one arm and held me tighter with the other.
For once in my life I felt as if we were a proper family and I’m sure the feeling was mutual with him.
The moment was magical
Spectacular
Amazing
until a loud “Ahem” came behind Jordell.
In unison we turned our heads 90 degrees clockwise to see, his girlfriend Katrina, standing behind us. He immediately broke our hug and went to go with her whilst my daughter was still in his hands, causing her to be in the middle of them whilst this was going on.
“Give me back my child.” I shouted as I grabbed Aneekaa off him and gently placed her back in her pram.
The bus finally came and everyone ran for it. I hated getting on the bus; no-one had any respect for mothers with babies. Today was ok, everyone got on the bus in single file and allowed me too get on in one piece without the unnecessary pushing and shoving.
I beeped my oyster and pushed the pram towards the disabled area, but was stopped by, like 10 hooded, tall figures standing in there thinking they’re men.
I parked Aneekaa’s pram right in front of them and just stood there, with my arms crossed, hoping they’d get the message before I had to shout.
“Can you move please” I asked politely as I impatiently stood they’re still waiting for some kind of reaction.
“I know you’re not talking to us” one of the hooded boys spat.
By now the whole downstairs of the double decked bus had their full attention focused on us.
“What’s this man?” Jordell and Tyreese asked as they came down the stairs.
“This stupid girl, tried to get rude, with her ugly baby.” One of them said, to Jordell.
I was guessing they knew each other, from the way the boy’s tone of voice softened.
“Is it?” Jordell said, inviting him to chat some more.
“Yeah man, she’s lucky I don’t punch her and that ugly baby.” Another boy replied.
“Is it now?” Tyreese said this time
“Yeah.” The same boy said looking at me.
“Hmmm okay, you know this so called stupid girl, her so called ugly baby is my child.” Jordell calmly replied.
Silence
“Yeah that’s what I thought; I suggest all of you go before I punch you.” Jordell said
All of them dived off the bus when the doors opened, not even thinking about looking back.
Why Jordell helped for me? Ran through my mind, but in the end I concluded that, it was because his daughter was with me, otherwise he would have just walked past and laughed.
As soon as they had gone, I pushed my boo’s pram, in the buggy and disabled area then purposely turned around to Tyreese and Tyreese only to say “Thank you, for helping for me.”
“You know I done more talking than him right.” Jordell butted in, looking jealous.
“Why are you talking to me like we are friends, go back upstairs to your slut of a girlfriend, now, please?” I moved my hands back and forwards, in a go away sort of gesture. He leapt towards me. The look on Jordell’s face told me I had started things and taken them a bit too far but he was ready to end it.
“Champagne. Are you dumb? Trying to bring Katrina into this when you know she would a better mum then you by far, and do you want to know one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made is being with you.” He screamed, and just stood there looking at me like I was dirt. Yet it was something big for me.
For the first time in my 15 years I was absolutely lost for words
I felt trapped in ah claustrophobic box.
I felt so small, so hurt, so ashamed, so deceived, and so dumb, for ever thinking he loved me.
The pain dwelling in my heart, was a one in 6 billion feeling, something unknown and immune to my system, until now, as I stood there silenced by the cause of heart break and curse of infatuation, I felt the tears build up in my eyes, blurring my vision and Jordell’s cold stare sharply as well as deeply cutting into my soul.