Causes and Effects of Internal and External Migration
Migration is the movement of people from one place to another. We can divide it into two different parts. Internal migration which is rural(towns) to urban(cities). For example, Oakham to Manchester and external migration also can be said as international migration which is the movement from one country to another. For example, Turks to Germany or Mexicans to USA which I am going to talk about it as we go on.
People migrate for two reasons. Firstly, they may wish to get away from the things that they do not like. These are called push factors and include:-
- not enough and poorly paid jobs
- old and poor quality houses
- natural disasters – earthquakes, volcanoes, wars
- few oppotunities – shopping centers, cinema, food, schools, hospitals
- poor transport
Secondly, people are attracted to the things that they do like. These are called pull factors and include:-
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Peer Reviews
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Quality of writing
Vocabularly is good on the whole, with important terms used including internal migration and push/pull factors. There are errors in punctuation, such as missing out apostrophes and putting some where they shouldn't be. The sentences can be too short, so more connectives should be used to create longer compound sentences. This isn't a big issue but something I think people should avoid: using the same introduction into every paragraph; notably 'now I am going to talk about...'. In the end the essay is to inform, describe and explain and shouldn't be treated as a casual conversation.
Level of analysis
The writer does well at summing up the push-pull factors and then giving real life examples of how these cause migration. A few key push and pull factors are missed out including family being in other countries. Also a war is not a natural disaster. The essay has no real end and seems like it turns to a detailed list rather than an essay - however the content itself is quite good. More explanation rather than description could be well warranted.
Response to question
The essay provides a lot of information about why people migrate, the causes of it, but does little to explain the effects of it. There are parts where they note how Mexican immigration to the US means there are fewer jobs for US citizens but other than that it seems a little thin. So overall more attention must be paid to the question - clearly writing about effects of migration as well as their specific effects in the examples the writer discusses.