Deforestation in Amozonia.

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Deforestation in Amozonia

The Amazon rainforest in Brazil is the world largest rainforest with over 30 million different species of plants, animals and insects. The rainforest used to cover     of the earths surface but today only covers    .  This is mainly because some parts of the forest are being rapidly deforested because the forest is so useful to so many people.

Deforestation provides benefits for many different companies which wish to make large amounts of money. Also Brazil owes large amount of Depts. and so the government believe that by developing the forest it will help to contribute towards the payment of these depts. Nevertheless it causes many problems for the ecosystems of the forest and the world.

Deforestation in Amazonia has led to many conflicts between different groups of people. Some people argue that deforestation has its economic benefits and that developing the Amazon will have benefits for the people and economy of Brazil. However certain groups like world wildlife fund (wwf) are concerned because large amounts of animals and plant are becoming extinct. They argue that it is a global mistake and that in the long term this will only cause more problems for Brazil and the rest of the world.

The best uses of the rainforest are those that help the people to improve their standard of life help the country to become more developed and wealthier and use the rainforest in a sustainable way so as not to damage the ecosystems of the rainforest.  

In order to draw up a conclusion to how the rainforest should be preserved I will look at the different types of uses of the Amazonia rainforest. Two uses of rainforest I am going to look at are:

  • Clearing the forest to get at valuable minerals in the rocks under the forest such as iron ore and bauxite.
  • Leaving the forest for the tribes who have lived in the forest for thousands of years.
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One of the developments that have taken place in the Amazon is mining. Large amounts of minerals such as iron ore, gold, copper, bauxite and other minerals can be found in the grounds of the rainforest. People in the developed counties buy these raw materials for many purposes such as car manufacturing.

The mining helps people to improve their living standards as there are many jobs created in the mines. Because more jobs are created the people will have much more spare money which they can spend in shops, restaurants, banks e.t.c. This will cause a multiplier effect as more ...

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The grammar is fine. However, the student failed to spell '"debt" and spelt it "dept" instead (at least I believe they are not referring to department which is sometimes shortened to dept). The punctuation is questionable in many areas. There seems to be a lack of the usage of commas after the word "however" (there were certainly clear times when the sentence definitely needed a comma). Also, I question the use of starting sentences with "because". However, this may be due to the schools that I have been to constantly telling me not to start any sentence with "because" - consequently I have got over this by using "it is because".

The analysis is good. The student does support the analysis at times even though it may lack depth of knowledge in places. The student evidently understands the topic, but they don't really give specifics to support their statements and generalise too much. This is very common in works of GCSE students. By adding specific details, they can ensure that they get A / A* grades. Their judgement was interesting at the end. I would say that they need to balance their suggestion of opening the Forest to tourism to the negative effects that it could bring such as the native tribes would be disturbed by the new influx of outside influence and cultures (i.e. they could loose their identities) and there could be a loss of habitat due to new infrastructural being needed to accommodate the tourists. Their argument to support their final conclusion was evidently one sided - something which should be avoided at all costs. The student should acknowledge that there is no one solution that is 'perfect' just perhaps better than others depending on the person's view point.

The student gives a clear introduction to the question and it is logically structured which helps guide the examiner through their argument. However, I would say that even for GCSE level, there are a few places where there is a lack of detail. I also do not think the use of "etc" and "I" is appropriate for GCSE. Although some schools overlook the usage of "I", certainly the use "etc" just shows that the student does not know enough about the topic. In such cases, it is better to miss out the "etc" so that it is not flagged up to the examiner the areas of the lack of knowledge. I would suggest focusing on certain aspects of the forest rather than making it so broad if a student struggles to find all the details needed in the given time for the coursework. It is better to have a detailed and focused essay than to have a wide ranging and asserted essay.