Oddly, his father never intervened. His attempts to talk to his wife about Dave failed, and only worsened the abuse. This caused Dave to hate his father: “he was fully aware of the hell I lived in, but he lacked the courage to rescue me as he had promised so many times in the past” (134).
As the beatings and the torture continued, Dave began to give up: “With no dreams, I found that words like hope and faith were only letters, randomly put together into something meaningless-words only for fairy tales” (132). “Inside, my soul became so cold I hated everything” (133).
What’s your single greatest accomplishment and why?
“I’m so alive” (155). My life as a child was extremely turbulent, being pushed and pulled in every direction. I tried as hard as I could to reach the light at the end of the dark tunnel, but it always seemed out of reach. “Until suddenly, without warning, I broke free” (156).
What was your biggest obstacle? How did you overcome it?
My mother’s abusing me was no doubt my biggest obstacle. “I hated Mother most and wished that she were dead. But before she died, I wanted her to feel the magnitude of my pain and my loneliness for all these years” (134). As the years passed by and the beatings became more intense, I wished “she’d returned with a knife and ended it all.. My morale had become so low that in some self-destructive way I hoped she would kill me” (141). But I made a promise to myself that kept me going. “I wanted to show The Bitch that she could beat me only if I died, and I was determined not to give in, even to death” (91).
What one trait or characteristic would you most like to be remembered for? Why?
I would definitely most like to be remembered for my resilience. Perhaps my faith and the security of my early years helped me develop enough resilience to survive the abuse and grow up to be an emotionally healthy adult with a child of my own. “The challenges of my past have made me immensely strong inside. I adapted quickly, learning how to survive from a bad situation. I learned the secret of internal motivation. My experience gave me a different outlook on life, that others may never know. I have a vast appreciation for things that others may take for granted..” I hope that my story will help instill resilience in others.
What was the single, most important thing you’ve learned? Why do you consider this so?
The single, most important thing I’ve learned from my past hardships was that “even in its darkest passages, the heart is unconquerable. It is important that the body survives, but it is more meaningful that the human spirit prevails” (165). I believe that no matter what happens in your past, you can “overcome the dark side and press on to a brighter world. It is perhaps a paradox that without the abuse of my past, I might not be what I am today” (166).
My Reaction:
I read A Child Called “It” in one day. It’s one of those books you can’t put down because you want to know what’s going to happen next. I was always in constant suspense as to what Dave’s emotionally unstable mother was going to do to him and how he was going to survive the abuse.
This book really sunk into my heart and the imagery used in the book helped put a clear picture of the dysfunctional household Dave lived in. The fact that this is a true story and millions of children suffer from the same ordeal saddens me. Also, the fact that he remembers all those horrible things that he went through in the past, in detail, is very sad. I’m glad that Dave triumphed not only in finding a better, loving family, but also within himself.
If I was in his shoes, I don’t think I’d be able to make it where he is today. His story truly changed my perspective on life. I realized how lucky I am to belong to a nice, tight-knit family and that I have it good compared to most people.
