6th April 1832
It is today that I must confess that I have seen no other hectic day as such in the course of my entire life. I was left both glad and sorry as the day drew to a close. Today, Helen gave birth to her third child and my first – prematurely. It was a tear-jerking experience as I cradled the baby, my very own child in my arms and I, William Preston, officially became a father. As I mentioned before, however, the child was born ahead of time and this was induced by a problem, ignited by Helens second child and first son, Gregory. For from the very day we have been husband and wife, Gregory has been the obstruction of Helens love, which duly belongs to me. This sparked an argument between Helen and I, which opened the door of her womb, leaving her giving birth to my son before nature intended. This problem has left me sorriest, though, as Helens health has drastically deteriorated, bringing her nigh unto death. She remains sick and in bed and all the while unable to care for the child. Her future and the future of the child remain uncertain, but time will tell.
13th April 1832
Today, I wrought victory over Helens love for Gregory, but at the same time, suffered complete and utter loss. As Helen lay upon her deathbed she asked of me a favour; to lay both children on the bed with her, hand in hand. This I carried out without hesitation, as I sat by her bed, grasping onto the rope of hope, for Helens recovery. However, as I mentioned earlier, I was victorious in obtaining Helens love for a while. As death began emptying out the elixir of life from within Helens soul, she smiled a long, beautiful smile. A smile that I will never forget. The first and last smile I received from those pale, frail lips. And within an hour, her body lay still, lifeless and motionless on the bed.
12th January 1848
It was today I began to have faith in my son, and it was today he furthermore let me down. I put the trust I had in him to the test. There was an errand lurking to be carried out and, as my son didn’t go to school, he was ideal. I bade him strictly however, to return by the road, in case the suddenness of winter weather engulfed him and caused him to lose any bearing of direction. After this, I bade him farewell and hastily sent him on his way. It was only with the trust that I had in my son, which enabled me to go about the business I was accustomed to. Without a worry or fear that he might get lost or spend too long. This trust was a faith I could never have in Gregory, for in simple things he was often very dopey, slow and by and large ended up not finishing the task in hand. However, with my son, this was not the case. It was only later on in the day, I became inquisitive of his whereabouts. For I had sent him out at morning and the journey to and fro would have taken him eleven hours. But he was not yet indoors. It was at this time I sent Gregory out the house, for he became very frustrating, suggesting stupid places of where my son might be. Two hours slowly turned to three and three to four. I was even, to the surprise of myself, fretting about where Gregory was as well. But then the distinctive barking of Lassie woke me up from my deep sleep of thought. As she came in, I paid close attention to her, to see if she was trying to convey a message, for she was a clever dog. I could not find any. But lo and behold after a long stare at her, I realized my son’s pocket-handkerchief, given to him by Fanny was tied around his neck. Then the last piece of the puzzle was put into place. I stirred into action, gathering blankets and brandy and in a quarter of an hour we were off, under the leadership of Lassie.
13th January 1848
“God, forgive my hardness of heart toward this fatherless child”. Gregory lies dead. His love so strong has compelled me to beg for forgiveness. For I have treated him so badly, abused him and his dog and rendered him stupid in my eyes. But the love he showed toward his half brother the in the recent past was the greatest act of love and kindness witnessed before my eyes. As the snow showered down in the fells upon my son yesterday, Gregory bravely stripped himself of his shepherd’s coat to make my son warm and placed his life before his brothers’, consequently losing his life. I am guilt ridden that I have treated him like this all this time. God Forgive me for my heart of stone.
