Regarding ways to carry difficult situations on the path to enlightenment, Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche says that “when we suffer, we should regard our discomfort as a sign reminding us that the way to avoid even minor pains is to abandon all negative actions.” On the most fundamental level, I (like everyone else) wish for happiness, free from suffering. The first thing to do in accomplishing this goal is to identify the true causes of suffering. These are contaminated actions, contaminated by the three poisons: desire, hatred, and ignorance. Every bit of suffering we experience in this life is due to either our contaminated actions or those of others. In order to purify ourselves of negative actions, we must confess them. Dilgo Khyentse talks about four powers to be considered in the purification of negativities; they are all required in order to properly confess negative actions. I will present them specifically with actions of anger in mind. The first is the power of revulsion; this is having a strong regret for negative actions committed in anger, “similar to the regret we might feel after swallowing poison.” It is to be sick of these negative actions and their harmful effects. The second is the power of your decision to improve. Realize that you were blind to the harmful effects of your past actions committed in anger, but from this day forth, vow to refrain from committing actions of anger at all costs. The third power is your support which, as a Buddhist, is the Three Jewels (Buddha, Buddha’s teaching, and the spiritual community). Because the Three Jewels are ever pure, free from negativity, this is where we get our support. We take refuge from our suffering in the Three Jewels from the depths of our heart, so this is where we take our confession of actions committed in anger. The fourth power is that of the antidote. For actions of anger, the antidote is the cultivation of patience. The perfection of patience can only be achieved by first developing an attitude of equanimity, or even-mindedness toward all persons: friends, neutral persons, and enemies. (To explain very briefly…) In life, one tends to relate to everyone as either a friend, a neutral person, or an enemy; this means you see them as someone who helps you in this life, someone you either have no opinion of or just don’t know, or someone who does you harm in this life. All persons are perceived to fall into one of these categories, without exception.
Following the anger example, one might be inclined to hate an enemy because they have brought harm to you in some way. With an attitude of equanimity, one is able to have patience instead of anger for enemies. One sees that these relationships are constantly shifting. No person will forever remain an enemy, in fact, in the vastness of the round of rebirth; all persons have at some time been your friend, neutral, or enemy. The Dalai Lama says, “Enemies are precious in the sense that they help us grow.” Regarding the Chinese, a great enemy to many Tibetans, his Holiness says, “If I had stayed in Lhasa, and if the Chinese invasion had never taken place, I might still be very isolated. I would probably be more conservative than I am now.” I find these words to be very inspiring when I am in a situation where I am being harmed by another person.
Also particularly inspiring to me is one of the Jataka tales (stories from one of the Buddha’s former lives.) The Jataka tales provide Buddhists with a model of which they should strive to emulate by demonstrating how the Bodhisattva acquired and perfected each of the traits essential for enlightenment. This particular example demonstrates how the Bodhisattva acquired unshakable, absolute patience. A world-renouncing ascetic, Ksantivadin (meaning “teacher of patience”) devoted his life to cultivating the highest level of patience. According to the story, Ksantivadin met with an ultimate test of his patience one day when the king who ruled the area entered the forest glade of which he was meditating. The king had many mistresses with him and he was drunk so he decided to sit down and rest. While the king fell asleep, his mistresses became bored and wondered off in search of diversions, upon which they ran into Ksantivadin. The mistresses were in awe of Ksantivadin’s sanctity and wanted to learn his techniques. He began instructing them on asceticism and patience, when the king awoke in fury to find his concubines gone. Being a very violent man, the king thrashed about looking for them. His anger increased tenfold when he discovered them in the company of an ascetic teaching them to renounce their sensuality and worldly pleasure, which was their sole function to the king. When Ksantivadin calmly introduced himself as a teacher of patience, the king accused him of being a fraud and set out to prove it. The king drew his sword and began to antagonize Ksantivadin. While desperately attempting to make the Ksantivadin lose his patience, his calmness only made the king madder. When Ksantivadin raised his hand to calm the king, he sliced it off with his sword, following with his other hand, both legs, and finally his head. Realizing that Ksantivadin was truly a master of patience and he had lost, the king stormed off in hatred and disgust. The earth then opened up and swallowed the king, sending him to the most torturous hell. Ksantivadin (headless) stated that he held no grudge against the king or his assistants and continued to teach patience.
This story illustrates just how important it is have patience in adverse situations. The extremity of Ksantivadin’s test is meant to show that true patience is meant to be preserved even at the cost of one’s own limbs. In the story, Ksantivadin shows that he has truly perfected all three types of patience. The first type is the patience of not taking revenge when someone harms you. Not only did he take no revenge, Ksantivadin bore absolutely no ill-will on the king who harmed him or the servants who passively watched his limbs being hacked off. The second type is the patience of willingly taking on hardships when practicing the dharma. The third type is the patience of distinguishing right understanding from wrong understanding. The Bodhisattva must have the patience to understand that all things and occurrences result from causes and conditions and those that do us harm are just a part of this “causal network.” Enemies are neither inherently good nor inherently evil in themselves. Enemies are simply lack understanding and bring harm because of past and present desire, hatred, and ignorance. So John Powers explains, “Thus the bodhisattva realizes that it makes no more sense to hate a person who harms one than it would to hold a branch responsible for falling on one’s head.”
Sources:
Dilgo Khyentse. Enlightened Courage
His Holiness the Dalai Lama with Frederique Hatier. The Spirit of Peace
John Powers. Introduction to Tibetan Buddhism
