I’ve constantly felt that I’ve worked hard to get what I wanted, yet I don’t know what I truly want in life. I never seem to be able to decide on a career. There’s always an obstacle that seems to make me wonder if that’s what I really want. For instance, when I was younger I wanted to be a vet. I really loved animals, yet due to my constant hate/fear of birds I realised this dream wasn’t for me. After that I haven’t found another career that I desperately want to do, although I know what kind of field I want to go into, and that I’ll be going into further education to help me get exactly what I want.
By now it’s lunchtime and, at last, a whole hour to catch up with what’s happened and get some food! I get about £10 a week for dinner, but this usually lasts longer as I won’t feel like eating if it’s sunny outside or there’s a big crowd in the cafeteria (I hate to feel claustrophobic).
I usually handle my money well, but like to spend my dad’s money on clothes and such (just as any girl would!). Shopping is by far my favourite pastime! It’s like an addictive drug, which possesses your soul, and before you know it you’ve spent hundreds of pounds on a few clothes and a stunning pair of shoes! I could spend eternity shopping with my mum, as she actually does have a decent fashion sense. However, my brother and sister utterly loathe shopping, so if the whole family go there’ll be plenty of whinging and whining from them.
It’s strange the relationship between my mum and me. I know most people obviously feel a closer connection with their mum but with mine, we’re more like best friends. She can tell you nearly everything about me, and she knows me inside out. She’s always there for me, and I care for her and the rest of my family and friends so intensely, that I wouldn’t know how to survive without any one of them. It’s one of those things you never imagine will happen, but you take for granted all of those you adore the most. Even the thought of losing someone who I love so much makes me shudder.
Evidently, life isn’t as sweet as sugar. There are always the bickering rows with my parents and siblings (most of which are obviously not my fault!), but I never hold a grudge, as life’s too short to be quarrelling over trivial situations. You never know when your life will end, so I always make the most of every second I have alive.
As the bell goes to acknowledge the fact that it’s fifth period, everyone begrudgingly drags themselves back into the school. Usually this lesson flies by and then, after a five-minute registration, it’s back home!
When I get home I’ll probably spend an hour or so on homework, a couple of hours in front of the TV (if anything decent is on) and whatever else I feel like doing. I’d prefer to go out with my friends all the time, but I know it isn’t possible as I live quite a while away from them. In Luton I don’t really think there’s a lot of activities for my age group to do. Of course, there’s the cinema (which is normally the social escape for my friends and me). But, wherever I am, I know I’ll always have a smile, as true friends can cheer you up, however bad you may be feeling. If I stay at home, I might go on the computer and talk to my friends or even on the phone.
At about 11.00pm when my brother and sister are asleep. I’ll listen quietly to music in my room, lie down and think about life, and everything in it. My worries, my hopes and dreams are all thought about when I’m by myself. I think about all sorts. The kind of things that others like my friends just wouldn’t understand. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very open with people, but there are some things in life, which are too complicated to explain. Obviously there are all the standard rhetorical questions, such as the meaning of life. But also other complications; feelings and matters of the heart! After a couple of days thought, these normally come up in conversations with close friends, so after all this personal thought most of it ends up out in the open anyway! After a lot of serious thinking and a drowsy feeling taking over my body, I turn off the music and then switch myself off. Sleep at last!
A life in the day of ….
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