Is there a difference between male and female conversational styles in today's society?

• Filled Pauses

These are hesitations such as ‘um and er’

The only filled pause that occurred was in the male conversation when:

S.M:        it’s your fault init er you should’ve…

Here the filled pause occurred because the speaker struggled to keep the conversation flowing so used the filled pause to regain speech.

• Repetitions

Either of a single word or several words at a time

As the topic of the conversation was love and arranged marriages, throughout the conversations the abstract noun ‘love’ and the noun phrase ‘arranged marriage’ appeared.

Standard and Non-Standard forms.

Standard English is a form of English which has been accepted as a norm, however in the conversations I analysed this did not appear. The reason being is because all the participants knew each other very well and were comfortable with talking in a Non-Standard form. Non-Standard English identifies vocabulary and grammar to be different to that of Standard English. Regardless of that vocabulary tends to be less formal in spontaneous speech anyway. Colloquial expressions are present and slang is generally found in speech. Informality is evident in the use of contractions.

In the female speech the speakers use a range of colloquial expressions for example:

S.K:        but he ain’t gonna take you out wiv him

In the above example ‘ain’t’ is used instead of ‘isn’t’ which is a contracted form of ‘is not’. Peter Trudgill found that men “tend to use ain’t whereas women use isn’t”. However in this conversation it is the female who uses the term ‘ain’t’.

Similarly ‘gonna’ is used instead of ‘going’ and ‘wiv’ is used instead of ‘with’. In relation to my aim the use of language diverges from gender stereotypes because male and females in today’s society both use the same dialect. This in a way is imitating the black dialect. This is a reflection of how youth are moulding their language into another culture, a culture that was seen as inferior. This is similar to a study Lesley Milroy carried out where she found out “a social network is a group of people who regularly interact with each other” this basically means the participants speak like this amongst each other but won’t around their parents or teachers.

The Standard form to the above example would be:

‘But he is not going to take you out with him’

So as you can see nowadays female speakers are talking in the same manner as male speakers. For example in the male conversations:

S.B:        you mean like go out wiv em

Here the male speaker uses ‘wiv’ instead of ‘with’ just like the female speaker S.K.

The Standard form to the above example would be:

‘Do you mean like going out with him’

Many researches have concluded that women tend to be more polite than men. Penelope Brown studied the language of men and women. Brown found that women appear to be more than polite than men.

However my findings contradict this because in the mixed conversations:

J.B:        you shut up [to J.H] I fink I’m right…go on say how they’re right

Not only does the female speaker use colloquialism ‘fink’ instead of ‘think’. She also allows J.H to lose face by telling him to ‘shut up’. According to Brown; “women tend to use polite terms so that the other participants do not lose face”.  In relation to my aim the fact that J.B is talking to the opposite sex-(J.H) has not affected her use of language.

The Standard form to the above example would be:

I believe I am right…but if you think they are…state why

Paralinguistic features

Can reinforce semantics of spoken discourse. Comments on such features are always directly related to the intentions of the speaker. Vocalisations like laughing may express enjoyment or amusement. Sighs may express sadness, annoyance and agitation.  

In the male conversation:

[S.M laughing] this is an indication of S.M expressing his amusement at the way he intonated the way he spoke. ‘But why ’

In the mixed conversations:

[Everyone sighs] this is an indication of everyone feeling agitated at the comment made previously by S.M.

Tag Questions

An interrogative structure attached to the end of a sentence which expects a reply. Instead of the standard form ‘isn’t it’ the speakers used the colloquial form ‘init’. Throughout the three conversations the term ‘init’ is used. According to Robin Lakoff “sentences with tag questions were most attributed to women, while strong assertions were most often attributed to men”

I found that in the male conversation:

M.A:        but look at society now init

And in the mixed conversations:

S.M:        that’s their fault init

Both cases the male speakers use tags. The findings of Janet Holmes suggested that women use tag questions “to include the speakers into the conversation”. I found that the male facilitators (Holmes used the term facilitator to refer to those responsible for ensuring that interaction proceeds smoothly) used tag questions so that the other participants would support their statement. Looking at the examples it clearly backs up Lakoff’s findings that women use tag questions for “tentativeness” where as men are just assertive.

The reason being in the female conversation A.B has said her statement and with the NVC unseen she indicates someone to come in:

A.B:         because I’m not into all this love marriage thing init

The use of ‘init’ is commonly found in Luton, it is something the youth have picked up on and have been comfortable in using.

Data Analysis of Conversations

Verbosity

“Women talk more than men”-not according to my results they don’t. Here it clearly shows that it is the men who talk more. Surprisingly even though in the mixed conversation the males were out numbered the male speaker alone S.M happened to get 114 words in, and the females together got 365 words. That shows if there were more males present at the conversation the males may have dominated the conversation. That concludes that in my introduction when I stated that men talk more in mixed conversations it is in fact possibly correct.

Questions

Fishman found that “women tend to ask more questions than men”. However my findings contradict this because in the male conversation they have asked more questions than the female conversation, similarly in the mixed conversation 5/9 questions were asked by the male (S.M). In both cases the males have used questions to gain support from the other participants. Whereas in the female conversation the use of questions have been used to involve listeners.

 Repetition

The use of repetition varies through the conversations because in most cases it is used as a collocation of the noun phrases “love and arranged marriages”. In other cases they are used as single words throughout individual speakers.

Turns

The male speakers happened to have more turns compared to the other conversations. Having done a participant observation I noticed that the male speakers split in to two groups where one group was for the argument the other against it. This meant the males that were for it were allowing each other to come in and back the other ones argument. That is why in the males in the mixed and the male conversations were allowing more turns for support. In the female conversation one speaker has the chance to say what they want; until the next person comes in at the end of the transitional relevance place to finish of the previous speakers grammatical unit.

Flow Chart showing turn-taking in conversation (based on Zimmerman and West)

Zimmerman and West identified two forms of irregularities in conversations they are:

• Interruptions

Are violations of the turn-taking rules of conversation? Next speaker begins to speak while current speaker is still speaking.

Zimmerman and West found that in mixed-sex conversations men are more likely to interrupt than women; but there were hardly any interruptions in the mixed conversation because J.B is a very dominant character and most of the participants felt they would lose face if they argued against her. So they rarely came into interrupt her instead they supported her. In the female conversation however the speakers got carried away in the excitement of certain issues and didn’t realise when they were interrupting. In the male conversation S.R and M.A constantly tried to interrupt S.M because they disagreed with most of what S.M said. But Zimmerman and West did say that interruptions “were generally quite evenly distributed between the participants” in single-sex conversations.

For example in the female conversation:

T.K:         yeah but love marriage

A.B:                                         but that’s up to the family

The interruption here occurred when T.K was talking about “love marriages” and before she could finish what she was saying A.B interrupted her with a different topic.

In the male conversation:

D.K:        in a love marriage when you need someone you’re going through the same phase though (.) you meet someone

S.R:                                                           arranged marriages the first impression you get from a man (.) yeah is commitment

The interruption here occurred when D.K was talking about “love marriages” and before he could finish what he was saying S.R interrupted him with a different topic.

In the mixed conversation:

J.B:        cultural yeah it is better I’m not saying disagreeing wiv dat

S.M:                                                                                     it’s jus dat your manipulated by society

The interruption here occurred when J.B was talking about “culture” and before she could finish what she was saying S.M interrupted her by criticising her opinion.

• Overlaps

Are instances of slight over anticipation by the next speaker: instead of beginning to speak immediately following current speaker’s turn, next speaker begins to speak at the very end of current speaker’s turn, overlapping the last word.

The overlaps in the female conversation were a form of what Jennifer Coates identified as “duetting” which is commonly found in female speech; where the next speaker comes in at the end of the transitional relevance place to finish of the previous speakers grammatical unit. I suppose the use of overlaps is evenly distributed throughout the three conversations and all serve the same purpose of duetting.

For example in the female conversation:

S.K:        yeah but with love marriage you know the person as your boyfriend not as your husband

A.B:                                     yeah that’s what I always believe in that (.) because with your boyfriend you have your fun and everything (.) and once you’re in that house with him he expects you to be there and he knows he’s got you

Here A.B has waited for S.K to finish what she has said and then comes in with her statement.

In the male conversation:

S.B:        you said that love marriage right (.) you know the person before you get married do you mean like go out wiv em

S.R:                                                                         yeah go out wiv em

Here S.R has waited for S.B to finish asking the question before he comes in to answer.

In the mixed conversation:

J.B:        [shouting] he wouldn’t propose to you for no reason (.) he wouldn’t come to your house (.) for a proposal for no reason

S.M:                                                                        yeah he might

Here S.M has waited for J.B to finish off her statement before he comes in with his opinion.

Dominance

This approach argued by Dale Spender said that because women occupy a less powerful position in society than men, their conversational behaviour is less assertive and less confident. Men are more dominant within society, so it is not surprising that they tend to dominate mixed-sex conversations. Women are said to be used to male dominance, and as a result of social conditioning will often be polite and respectful when speaking to men.

By not having an even number of participants in the mixed conversation I was unable to distinguish the fact that males are more dominant in mixed sex conversations. Despite that problem I was able to get some interesting results. Where by the participants were all the same age and knew each other meant that they were comfortable in expressing their opinions and emotions. The reason being because in the mixed-sex conversation J.B was the dominant speaker; despite being a female. In this conversation she not only maintained the floor constantly, she allowed J.H (male) to lose face.

This concludes that when in an environment with your friends whether they are male or female it does not affect the participant’s attitudes towards each other, they tend to carry on as normal.

Difference

This approach focuses more on the differences in male and female attitudes and values, differences that are said to be inculcated from childhood, when we form, and are influenced by, single-sex peer groups. Deborah Tannen looked at studies of children’s play and found that in boys’ games there is more emphasis on competition and confrontation, whilst in girls’ games there is more co-operation. In adulthood, women’s talk often focuses on personal feelings and problems, and this helps to explain why their approach to conversation is more sympathetic and supportive.

This approach is understandable because in the female conversation, the participants went deep into the issue and started to discuss personal issues from their family. From this they went to explain problems i.e.: divorces in the family and how to overcome these problems.

For example in the female conversation:

S.K: my cousin got married (.) and she didn’t get to know her husband

Here the speaker is talking to the participants about her cousin, from

this the other participants express their opinions and own experiences.

In the male conversation:

S.R:        how can you say that for a person who ain’t even tasted love (.) you got a cap on saying love and that and

[S.M tells S.R to f*** off]

Here the subject matter got intense where S.R said a personal statement against S.M which offended him and resulted him swearing at S.R. This shows how S.R became confrontational against S.M and didn’t stop to think that S.M may lose face instead said what he wanted to, to support his argument despite the effects. Irving Goffman would regard this as a “face-threatening act” because it resulted in S.M swearing.

In the mixed conversation:

J.B:        cultural yeah it is better I’m not saying disagreeing wiv dat

S.M:                                                                                     it’s jus dat your manipulated by society

Here S.M made a confrontational statement against J.B which in fact didn’t please her at all. To her this was seen as a face-threatening act because S.M is patronising her beliefs.

So in the male and mixed-sex conversation it is clearly evident that the male speakers tend to become confrontational against other speakers, because they want to justify that they are right and the others are wrong. As for the females they are comfortable about expressing their personal opinions and are comfortable talking about all the issues initiated.

Conclusion

        In this investigation I have looked at work from linguists which reveal gender differences in communicative competence. The evidence at present suggests that women and men do pursue different interactive styles to an extent. However having investigated on teenagers I have found out that because they are all the same age, same status, all from the same town and are all friends. It meant that the results gained showed that these participants have all used the same lexis and dialect; whether they were males or females it didn’t make a difference. The females have been said by linguists to take on an overt prestige where they make more of an effort to conform to standard usage in an effort to demonstrate their status and respectability. This was not present in my investigation because all the participants (males and females) used colloquial non-standard form.

It was surprising to find out that males tend to be very confrontational in conversations even at this age because in the male and mixed conversations the male speakers patronised other participants and turned against them because they weren’t agreeing with them. Whereas the female speakers were being very open minded and respecting one another’s opinions by supporting their judgement. So in that sense women tend to be more supportive; and men are competitive.

In conclusion I have found out that according to my aim the language style of men and women conform to gender stereotypes in the sense that women are the co-operative sex and men are the competitive sex. However the language style of men and women do diverge from gender stereotypes because the participants being the same age and all being friends enabled them to interact as normal; and carry on using the language that they use with one another. This meant that when the participants were talking to the opposite sex it didn’t have an effect on their language.

Evaluation

I think I went into reasonable depth whilst analysing my transcript. I looked at and focused on a range of relevant linguistic features, but I worked using headings and therefore if I noticed a feature that would not fit under a labelled heading, I would tend to ignore it. I feel my analysis was straight to the point and I supported and explained each point I made. I also referred to appropriate research. I read about each linguist and picked out key points that were linked to my investigation. However, I think it could have been useful to look more thoroughly into how each linguist conducted their research and when. This is because the research used may be out of date and the linguist’s method of research may be different to mine. This could result in their findings to be unsuitable for my data analysis.

Robin Lakoff reported her findings in 1974. Therefore, her findings may not be applicable in today’s society as attitudes have changed towards women.

I think in the future, I could look more deeply into the ways certain researchers conducted their investigations and then conduct mine in a similar way using a similar location and so on. My findings would then show whether or not these linguist’s findings are in fact out of date or not.

My methodology had both strengths and weaknesses. I think the 3 minutes of the tape which I selected from the transcript was suitable; because it was at this point speech was becoming spontaneous. This ensured I would be analysing the lost ‘realistic’ data. However, having more female participants in my mixed-sex conversation meant that I was unable to analyse whether or not men do interrupt women more in             mixed-sex conversation.

I could extend my investigation by looking at different variables/ I could record the same people but in different locations such as on the bus or in the street, and see if this has any effect. For example, on a bus, the participants are constrained to one position because you cannot move freely on   the bus. On the street, however, you can do as you please. By recording a series of conversations, I am likely to have more accurate results because I would have more data to draw from.

I have noticed that because I had focused on three transcripts it enabled me to look deep into the subject and compare all findings with linguistic studies.

Bibliography

• Footnote-3/4/5/6/7/8-Women, Men and Language-2nd edition: Jennifer Coates

• Footnote 1/9/10/11-www.google.com-click on to Language & Gender

• Footnote-2/12-AS and A2 English Language study guide-Alan Gardiner

Transcript Key:-

     Bold           Emphatic Stress

      (.)                  Pause less than a second

      (2)          Longer pause (number of seconds)

Appendice-1 _                Female Conversation

Participants:

                A.B:         Ashia Begum

                N.B:         Nasrina Begum

                S.B:         Sara Begum

                S.K:         Shelina Khatun

                T.K:         Tahema Karim

A.B:         I wanna get married (.) but I wanna leave it up to my parents

S.B:          why

A.B:         because I’m not into all this love marriage thing init

S.B:         I’m wiv you man I think arranged marriage is the best

 

T.K:                                                                    yeah but you have to                                 have a bit of both        

                                                

A.B:         nah but think about it yeah at the end of the day (.) look I’m seventeen and I still haven’t found anybody (.)  and I’m not planning on uni as a definite so uni (.) is the place where you go to find your life partner but I might as well leave it up to my parents

(pause 3 secs)

S.K:         I don’t know I think that I would compromise between the both

T.K:         yeah I agree to that

S.K:                               yeah coz you know the person you’re gonna marry

T.K:                                                                                                                          have an arranged marriage

(all participants talking all at once)

S.K:         coz if it’s a total arranged marriage I don’t want that

S.B:         no no no (.)   not that

S.K:                                 no

S.B:                                     no nowadays arranged marriages have changed

A.B:                                                                                         it’s changed like that

S.B:                             its like your parents choose the guy for you

T.K:                                                                               nah but I still agree with love marriages

(all participants talking all at once)

T.K:         nah but I still think

S.K:                                my cousin got married (.) and she didn’t get to know her husband

A.B:         yeah but she could at

T.K:                                 yeah but love marriage

A.B:                                                         but that’s up to the family

T.K:                                                                                      yeah but love marriage is better as well because (.) you know the person you know what

(all participants talking all at once)

S.K:        yeah but with love marriage you know the person as your boyfriend not as your husband

A.B:                         yeah that’s what I always believe in that (.) because with your boyfriend you have your fun and everything (.) and once you’re in that house with him he expects you to be there and he knows he’s got you

S.K:         yeah he can go out

A.B:                                 exactly

S.K:                                         but he ain’t gonna take you out wiv him

N.B:         but it depends (.) what kind of guy you get married to

A.B:                                                                    yeah but what about the family

(all participants talking all at once)

S.K:         it’s not like he’s gonna treat you like a baby (2 secs) you have to change

(all participants talking all at once)

N.B:         I know someone whose had a love marriage and is now getting a divorce because her (.) mother in law was being really

(A.B and N.B talking at once)

A.B:                                                         that’s like wiv my cousins as well (.) out of six (talking to T.K)

N.B:                                            but they really love each other (talking to S.K)

A.B:                                                                                           four of em have had a divorce

N.B:         she really loves her husband but it’s jus between her and her mother in law

A.B:         that’s not a (.) not a major problem (both participants say the same)

S.K

(all participants talking all at once)

T.K:         yeah but marrying a guy (.) is like marrying da whole family

A.B:                                                                            which is true

N.B:                                                                                          in asian (.) families you (.) we still (.) gonna like live wiv your mother in law and father in law

A.B:                                I get that (.) but

N.B:                                                 husband and wife

A.B:         yeah but you got to fink of it like this

N.B:                                                   the most important thing is husband and wife because they come into it

A.B:                                                  yeah I know that but still the whole point of our tradition is (.) is to get along and there’s always a way of finding out problems and solving them (.) say you got a problem wiv your mother in law (.) you know talk to your husband about it (.) but I will always agree wiv arranged marriages because first of all

S.K:                                                     I don’t mind but I want a love marriage

A.B:                     first of all

(all participants talking all at once)

S.K:         because I want my parents blessings

(all participants talking all at once)

S.K:         coz I want to get something in between (.) get to know the person I wanna marry with my parents choosing for me (.) then I marry that person

A.B:                                                                                 that’s the best way to go

T.K:                         yeah definitely

A.B:         yeah coz at the end of the day you’re getting everyone’s blessings and if it doesn’t work you can come back to your parents (.) whereas if you have a love marriage (.) they’ll be like you chose that person you stay wiv em

T.K:                                                                                         you gotta understand da people who av love marriages (.) they are so crazed up in love (.) wiv their feelings they see that they have to

Appendice-2                    Male Conversation

Participants:

                S.M:        Shahjahan Miah

                M.A:        Mohammed Ali

                S.R:        Simur Rahman

                D.K:        Didar Khan

                S.B:        Sabir Batty

S.M:         so what do we believe about love and arranged marriage

M.A:         I’ll go wiv love marriage

S.R:         same ere

S.M:         but why

[S.M laughing]

M.A:         should I tell you (.) look yeah love marriage is like you know (.) the person who you’re getting married to (.) you know them for a quite a while and (.) whereas if you get an arranged marriage you’re jumping into something

S.M:                                                                                           no no no

M.A:        and you don’t know what exactly (.) you don’t know that person and you don’t know how they’ll treat you (.) you don’t know how they are

D.K:        in a love marriage when you need someone you’re going through the same phase though (.) you meet someone

S.R:                                                arranged marriages the first impression you get from a man (.) yeah is commitment

M.A:                                                        it’s all about commitment and is all within you

S.R:                        then after that he could turn back to what he was really (.) and find out what he was in the past

S.M:        the thing about love marriage yeah (3secs) it starts before you get married for  along period init (.) you have love there

S.R:                                                     yeah mmm

S.M:        then you get married and have love again so the fire will slowly burn out (.) but you have an arranged marriage it’s at (.) it’s at the beginning

M.A  +

S.R                                                                                yeah mmm

S.M:        so it’s gonna last longer in until the end

S.B:        you said that love marriage right (.) you know the person before you get married do you mean like go out wiv em

S.R:                                                         yeah go out wiv em

S.B:        so you see you have to bring Islam into it and it’s not allowed

M.A:        true I know yeah (.) but look at society now init

D.K:        that’s society you’re fitting into it

S.R:        yeah

S.M:        the capitalist state we’re living in

D.K:                                                yeah

M.A:        yeah I know but it’s not our fault is it

S.R:        of course it’s not

S.M:        we are not passive recipients

[all participants laughing]

S.R:        so why do you think love marriage is wrong

S.B:        it depends what you mean by love marriage (.) you mean like you get to know them by goin out wiv em before marriage then Islam says that it’s not allowed

S.R:        then again if you don’t know that person how can you get married to that person it’s like

S.B:                           you get to know them according to

S.R:                                                                  it’s an unknown person

S.M:        yeah but than when you do get an arranged marriage (.) you can start off feeling that love from then onwards (.) and carrying on so it lasts longer

S.R:        imagine (.) imagine it’s sort of a

S.M:                                               it’s not like you’re getting married to a stranger (.) you do get to see a photo

M.A:         I know but a photo doesn’t say nothing does it

S.M:        yeah I know but

M.A:                            but you can’t judge a book by its cover

S.M:        you (.) you do get to talk to her and

S.R:        think about this scenario yeah imagine yeah (.) and you don’t know her (.) it’s an arranged marriage and then say after a couple of months the true colours start shining through

M.A:                                yeah

S.R:                                        you realise she’s a bitch how you (.) how you gonna tackle that

(silence for 2 secs)

S.M:        it’s your fault init er you should’ve thought (.) it’s your fault for getting married to someone you judged

S.R:                                             no but the first impressions of a person is always nice and sweet

M.A:                                   yeah

S.R:        that’s how people are

M.A:                                   yeah

S.R:        that’s human nature (.) then they could flip and that

M.A:        mmm

S.M:        it’s a fact that love marriages have more divorces than arranged marriages

M.A:        yeah that’s true

S.R:        yeah that’s true

S.M:        with love marriage you might think (.) that if you know her and safe (.) yeah you wanna get married to her soon you’ll get bored of er

M.A:                                                                        nah nah love is all about er havin dat commitment

S.R:                                              and you can’t get bored of it

S.M:        you wanna bet on dat

M.A:        yeah

S.R:        how can you say that for a person who ain’t even tasted love (.) you got a cap on saying love and that and

[S.M tells S.R to f*** off]

M.A:                                        sex

[all participants laughing]

S.R:        you you it’s like you have never tasted love (.) probably I haven’t but I have read about it in Romeo and Juliet [laughs]

S.M:        that kind of love could not be real (.) could be fake but through an arranged marriage it’s proper (.) strong love (.) coz from da beginning you’re devoted to getting married to each other and that’s so

S.R:                                                          yeah you are (.) but imagine er the other person ain’t willing

M.A:                                          ain’t ready

S.M:                                                        then why she getting married to you

S.R:        yeah with arranged marriage the person could be

(all participants arguing)

S.M:        you should let God decide fate

 

Appendice-3                Mixed Conversations

Participants:

                R.B:        Ruksha Begum

                S.B:        Sara Begum

                N.B:        Nasrina Begum

                S.M:        Shahjahan Miah

                J.H:        Jamal Hussain

                J.B:        Jasmin Begum

R.B:        I prefer an arranged marriage rather than a love marriage

N.B:        why

R.B:        because I think it’s better

J.B:                                        yeah but you don’t know the person

S.M:                                                                                blatently I’m on her side

S.B:        I’m on her side

R.B:        yeah still you know (.) you know when you’re are girlfriend and boyfriend you ssss start to like each other and you fall in love you get married (.) but arranged marriage yeah you gonna like the person as well and then fall in love with em

N.B

+        no

J.B

J.B:        no that’s not necessarily true

(pause for 4 secs)

S.M:        that is true

J.B:        no it ain’t necessarily true because break ups do happen in arranged marriages

S.M:        but it’s a fact that divorces (.) sorry I mean

[S.B laughs]

love marriages have more divorces

J.B:        yeah but some love marriages don’t

S.M:                                                still

J.B:                                                        no it’s still some

S.M:                                                                          fact wise

J.B:                                                                                    arranged marriages do still have divorces too

S.M:        nah but not as much as love marriages

J.B:        yeah but still there are some love marriages that succeed in love

S.M:                                                                                 no no there’s no excuse

S.B:        alright in arranged marriages you have your parents blessings

S.M:                                                                                yeah

J.B:        yeah but you can still get your parents blessings in love marriages

S.B:                                                                                not always

J.B:        but that’s if they accept it (.) if they accept it (.) you can get married to them

S.M:                                                                                           how do you know that

J.B:                                if they don’t accept it then you won’t

S.M:        how do you know that in love marriage the guy ain’t jus having a fling wiv you or whatever

[everyone sighs]

J.B:        yeah but if it’s for a long time and it’s strong (.) he ain’t going for a fling (.) obviously you know

S.M:                                how do you know

J.B:        [shouting] he wouldn’t propose to you for no reason (.) he wouldn’t come to your house (.) for a proposal for no reason

S.M:                                                        yeah he might

N.B:        he won’t do that for no reason        

J.B:                                        he’s got his standards and families whatever

[laughs]

S.M:        but don’t you fink it’s best for your parents to decide for your partner

N.B:        yeah but no if your parents are alright wiv the love marriage then

J.B:                                                                                then what’s the problem wiv it

N.B:        yeah

J.B:        exactly

[J.H laughs]

N.B:        they’re gonna bless you wiv (.) you’re gonna be alright

J.B:        exactly so explain what’s the problem wiv love marriages

S.M:        in love marriages the fire burns out coz you start

N.B:                                                                how do you know that

J.B:        yeah not necessarily

S.M:        not necessarily but they do (.) in love marriages (.) you start loving each other         at the beginning before the marriage

J.B:        oh whatever I know plenty of arranged marriages (.) that haven’t worked out

S.M:        that’s their fault init

[J.H laughs]

J.B:        there you go again (.) then why you sayin arranged marriages is all good (.) and all that coz it’s not

N.B:        Jas is right and you’re wrong

S.B:        nah nah nah arranged marriages is our culture yeah

J.H:        yeah she’s right

N.B:        nooooo

J.B:        how is she right (.) you shut up (reference to J.H) I fink I’m right

[everyone laughs]

J.B:        go on say how they’re right

(silence for 5 secs)

S.M:        cultural way I say dat

J.B:                                cultural yeah it is better I’m not saying disagreeing wiv dat

S.M:                it’s jus dat your manipulated by society

J.B:        [shouts] no I’m not (.) I jus disagree wiv arranged marriages (.) I disagree

S.M:        but Islamically also (.) love marriage is wrong

S.B:        yeah it’s wrong (.) it’s against our religion

J.B:        I can’t argue wiv dat (.) but I still stand by my opinion

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