Most Wanted Hi, it's me! What, you don't know who I am? That's impossible
Most Wanted Hi, it's me! What, you don't know who I am? That's impossible! No one can be that ignorant! Alright then, I'm going to introduce myself, just for you: I am the beginning and the end for every writer, I am the last hope for the desperate and the source of all inspiration. Without me, there wouldn't exist either Romeo nor Juliet, the bell wouldn't ring and Sesame not open. I am the one and only, inimitable, loved and longed for, divine Muse! You didn't expect that, did you? Oh, you wonder what I'm doing here. Well, I just have to talk to someone that's all. And it has to be someone who doesn't want anything from me. You see, it's like this:I HATE MY JOB!!!I'm sorry, I usually don't lose my temper - or at least I try. No, I can't pull myself together now, I have to let it all out.I'm just sick of it. Do you have any idea, how long I've been doing this job? Already before mankind! The gods were so helpless without me. Even Athena needed some initial aid now and again. Always showing off
with her wisdom, but do you think she could ever express her knowledge correctly? Not without me, I can tell you that. Well, one day we had a big fight, and she took revenge: there was this guy, who wanted to honor her with a song, but he just couldn't get into it. She told him then that he'd just have to get a kiss from me, and the ideas wouldn't stop flowing. What a bitch! That's how it all started! This jerk, of course, couldn't keep his big fat mouth shut, no, he had to tell everyone. Since then, ...
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with her wisdom, but do you think she could ever express her knowledge correctly? Not without me, I can tell you that. Well, one day we had a big fight, and she took revenge: there was this guy, who wanted to honor her with a song, but he just couldn't get into it. She told him then that he'd just have to get a kiss from me, and the ideas wouldn't stop flowing. What a bitch! That's how it all started! This jerk, of course, couldn't keep his big fat mouth shut, no, he had to tell everyone. Since then, I didn't have a single quiet moment. There was always someone demanding me. Only men, because women don't let me kiss them, they get their inspiration somewhere else. Be it a beautiful sunset or a good newspaper article, I don't know, I've never asked. At first, this offended me a great deal, but now I'm pretty happy about it, because it means by far less work and stress for me.Okay, first things first. In the beginning, my fame was restricted to Greece, but then it grew so fast that I had to set up a limit for future customers. So I announced to the world that my services were no longer for free. In order to get a kiss from me, the gentlemen had to become, let's say, more generous. After all, some of them acquired fame and glory with my help - nobody would know Homer or Platon without me. Just think of the Ilias. Do you know how bloody this whole damn war was? And Homer's first script was just as horrible. No one would have read it, if I had not intervened. Because of me, Homer turned warlords into heroes; he actually made the whole thing quite interesting to read. To me, it sounded more like a big adventure than a murderous war, but hey, if people like it this way, why not?Well, the set up of fees really helped, far less applications were made - at first. If it weren't for my tender heart! Many men had given up all hope that they'd ever get a kiss from me, because they simply couldn't afford it. That was when I began to make some exceptions. William Shakespeare, for example. He was totally broke when he came to me, and actually he couldn't afford my services. But he was so charming! The way he smiled and spoke - not to mention his eyes! They were so intense, almost hypnotizing! I felt so warm and happy after our first meeting, and I thought that every woman should have the chance to feel the same way. Oh well, you know the rest.That's how the stress returned. Above all, some guys didn't find it sufficient to be kissed by me once and look for their inspirations somewhere else later on. No, they came repeatedly, for every new novel, for every new song, for every new speech: they came to me every single time. You see, I regard my work as an initial aid. But some guys are so stupid! They are so dependent and not able to find anything inspirational around them, not even a drop of the broad hint. Mozart was one of them, this little brat. Talented he was, oh yeah, I don't deny it. But his early fame didn't do him any good. He was so arrogant, and he actually thought that I should feel grateful to serve him. That I should feel honored to work for a "man" with his reputation. So, after a while I just quitted and never ever returned to him, no matter how many gifts he sent in to me. And I decided to do the same to everyone who dared not showing me the respect I deserve. This way, I lost quite a number of customers, such as Ernest Hemingway and Jean-Paul Sartre. But I have to admit - it usually takes a while until I break up. This is why these men were able to become world famous before I finally got myself up to leaving them.However, even this second restriction wasn't enough, I still have way too much work. I even had to hire some employees and start a hotline (1-800-MUSE) in order to cope with every single case. Of course my customers insist on personal service. Well, tough; they have to stand in line and wait for their number to be called up. After all, their patience does pay off.Oh, excuse me, it's my beeper. Oh no, not again. I'm sorry, I just have to return this call. Otherwise there'll be a sequel of Titanic, and I can't let that happen. I mean, he's dead, why can't they accept it? Hey, don't look at me like that. I really meant what I said, it is a horrible job, not just 7/11, but 24 hours a day. And I've never had a break in my entire life, not once. But please be honest: if not me, who else could do it?
