Birth Order

First of all, being the eldest, my parents are very overprotective of me. I understand that it is stemming from love and concern, but I feel they do it because they don't trust me in the 'real world'. For example, I have a curfew that I should be home at 7 o'clock in the evening if I'd ever went out. In addition, I should always inform my parents of where I will go. Usually I react to my parents' excessive fear in one of two ways: resistance or compliance. My parents' overprotection has made me an independent and a confidential person. I believe my parents have unfounded and baseless fears. As a matter of fact, this overprotection is a barrier that I hope to break so that I am free of making my own decisions based on what is right from wrong.

Secondly, being the eldest, my parents don't take notice of my overachievements. My parents subconsciously put a lot of pressure on me because they want me to be successful. Every time I showed my parents my report card they overlooked my marks and go straight to the comments to look for anything bad in behavior. I've been in high school for two years and getting good marks, but my parents never gave me a compliment, a pat on the back, nothing! I know that I am supposed to do it for myself but it's like they don't care about my grades, only which I was never skipping class or having a bad reputation. I just don't know why they expect me to have an education and do well if they themselves have an apathetic attitude towards it. In other words, if they don't care about my achievements, what is the point of earning them in the first place? My parent's attitude towards my success made me more independent and had overridden my ability to accept help from others.

Last but not least, being the eldest has lowered my status within my family. When I was an only child, my parents bonded a lot with me in a very intense way. They focused all their attention on me, dote on me and had watched my achievements of every milestone with great anticipation and satisfaction. Suddenly, my siblings came about and it didn't thrill me, for I started to lose my parents devotion. For some, the adjustment is easy but it was difficult for me. Eleven years in counting and that specific change was dramatically life-altering and shaped my personality. As the typical firstborn I am, I have started to isolate myself and become shy and sensitive towards my emotional needs. This isolation from the family made me think that I was being separated and that I unavoidably lost me parents love and attention due to my diminishing role within my family.

In conclusion, being the eldest in a family of three, I have been protected a lot, lowered my status in the family and had parents who overlooked my studies. It is a hard life to cope with but I have managed to live through it. At times I just wish I weren't a first born but then again I would be regretting that observation if it were real. Being a first born has its ups and downs but one could really manage if they had the heart to live up to drastic changes.

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