As well as helping their children to choose a suitable marriage partner, Muslim parents also have a responsibility to help if any things go wrong. This responsibility may influence their choice.
Different Islamic cultures celebrate marriage in different ways. Around the Muslim world different customs are included in Muslim wedding celebrations.
In mixed marriages Muslim boys may marry Christians and Jews, but Muslim girls are not permitted to marry non- Muslims because in Islam the children have to take the religion of the father, and so would become non-Muslims. If a youth wishes to marry a Hindu, Sikh or a Buddhist girl it is only permitted if she converts to Islam. However, in all cases there is a ceremony which both religious with the intention of being witnessed by Allah and public in the sight of members of the Ummah. Other common features of a Muslim wedding are as follows:
- The marriage is announced.
- A nikkah (contract) is drawn up. This is agreed between the two families and witnessed by the bride’s guardian and two other people.
- A Mahr (marriage gift) is given to the bride by her husband.
- Am Imam is often present at a wedding ceremony, although it is not required.
- Relevant verses from the Qur’an are usually recited such as:
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
O mankind! Be conscious of your Lord and Sustainer who created you from a single soul and from it created its mate and from them both has spread abroad a multitude of men and women. And remain conscious of Allah, in whom your claim (your rights) of one another, and if the ties of Kinship Indeed, Allah is ever watchful over you
Surah 4.1.An example of a marriage reading
- A Hadith might be told or an informal speech about marriage made.
An example of a marriage announcement is:
‘I, (name of bride) marry you.’
The groom will say: ‘I accept you.’
The groom gives Mahr (a sum of money) some property or another valuable gift to the bride and this remains her property for life.
Sunni Muslims have slightly different arrangements from Shi’ah Muslims about the giving of the bridal money. Shi’ah Muslims give Mahr immediately, whereas some Sunni Muslims arrange to give part of the endowment at a later time.
There will be refreshments and celebration after the contract is agreed but these like the dress, décor, and the entertainment will follow local customs rather than any specifically Muslim traditions. Often there is a Walimah, which is a wedding feast, in some cultures the bride’s hands are decorated with henna and jewellery.
Sometimes the bride does not actually attend the ceremony. She may remain at home while the bridegroom goes to the Mosque, and she appoints an agent and two witnesses to represent her parts of the contract. They hear her guarantee three times at home that she is willing to be married and they speak for her during the ceremony. Then the husband and wife are now officially married.