Sometimes the woman in a household is more intelligent or organised or practical than the man, so he will quite sensibly leave most matters to her but in Islam he is still responsible for her.
A Muslim mother is expected to take responsibilities for:
- Food for the hungry
- Refuge for the weary
- Hospitality for the guests
- Comfort for the distressed
- Peace for the troubled
- Hope for the insecure
- Encouragement for the weak
The Muslim father is expected to provide the mains whereby all this can actually be achieved to protect the home and the make to the mother’s role possible. The father is responsible for bringing in the money and therefore it’s his duty as far as possible to be strong, respected, and honourable.
Just as the mother’s role involves for more cooking than cooking and cleaning, the father’s involves leadership, responsibility and duty, and an involvement in the world of economics, business, trade, and commerce.
A man duties towards his wife:
- The groom has to give a Mahr (to the bride’s family). In Sunni tradition it can be made at the time of the Nikah all over a period of time. For the Shi’ah Muslims it must be given straight away. The Mahr is a form of security stored in case of a future emergency. It is the wife’s property and the husband to be can never claim it back.
- “A man must provide for the financial needs of his new family. Men are seen as the ‘protectors and maintainers’ of women.” (Surah 4:34)
- A man may marry up to four wives, provided he can treat them equally.
- A man must treat his wife and children fairly.
- He must not be involved in adultery outside marriage.
A woman’s duties towards her husband:
- A woman must protect her husband property in his absence.
- She must be faithful to him.
- She must dress modestly and cover herself when in presence of people outside the family or when she goes out of the home.
- She must make sure that the home is well managed and the children are brought up well even if she works.
- She must obey her husband as long as he does not ask her to break the laws of Allah.
The bride will go and live with her husband and his family. It’s the husband’s responsibilities to protect and provide for his wife. With a man's responsibility comes also a certain measure of privilege laid down in the Qur’an.
“Men are the ones who support since God has given some person’s advantages over others, and because they spend their wealth (on them)” (Surah 4:34)
“Women have the same rights in (relation to their husbands) as are expected in all decency from them; while men stand a step above them.” (Surah 2:228)
As the husband has the final say in all major decisions, even though the wife will have a lot of influence in the home. This may lead to arguing, then to a divorce.
Divorce is disliked, but is allowed and it’s easy for men under the Shir’ah Law (Islamic Law). Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said that divorce was the most hateful of permitted things and Muslim couples should try to be calm before making any final decision about splitting up.
Their families usually do their best to keep the marriage going since they are the ones who arranged it.
Therefore, overall I think that the roles of both husband and wife are very important roles in the Islam.