Hinduism and Marriage.

GCSE Religious Studies (Philosophy & Ethics)

Hinduism and Marriage

In a hindu marriage the words and action means more than just words. It is a guide for the rest of the life.

According to Hinduism, a marriage between two persons is a sacred relationship that is not limited to this life alone. It extends across seven or more lives, during which the couple help each other progress spiritually. The adage that marriages are made in heaven is very much true in case of Hinduism. Two souls come together and marry because their karmas are intertwined and they have to resolve many things together upon earth in order to ensure their mutual salvation.

The relationship between a couple is essentially a relationship of the souls. It is not necessary that their gender roles are fixed for ever. Some times they may switch roles and the husband may become the wife and the wife the husband. Sometimes they may also temporarily part their ways and come together again after one or two lives in a grand reunion.

Marriage in Hinduism is a sacred relationship. Hindu marriage tradition recognizes seven different types of marriage, ranging from the popularly known arranged marriages to the extremely rare and forced marriages through abduction. Generally most of the marriages are arranged with the consent of the bride and the bridegroom and the blessings of the elders. Caste, family background, financial status of the groom, appearance and character of the bride and the bridegroom, the willingness of the parents are some important considerations in arranged marriages.

Love marriages are on the increase, but there is still a lot of skepticism about them. Love marriages within the same caste and financial background are favored, compared to inter-caste and inter-religious marriages. Couples who dare cross the social conventions have to cope with a lot of social pressure within their families and outside. These problems are more acute in the rural areas compared to the urban areas and metropolitan cities. Much depends upon the family background. If parents are educated and enlightened on both sides, things would be easier for the children, who get involved in unconventional relationships.

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One of the evils of Hindu marriages is the ubiquitous dowry system. The amount of dowry can be a very substantial amount, even in dollar terms, depending upon the financial status of the parties involved. Sometimes greedy mother-in-laws and husbands subject the poor brides to innumerable hardships for not meeting their expectations in respect of the dowry. Cases of bride burning are not unknown. Indian penal code prescribes severe punishment for such acts. But the cases take years and decades before the courts deliver justice.

In arranged marriages the marriage is consummated through elaborate ceremonies presided over by a Vedic priest well versed in Vedic mantras. The marriage date is fixed after consulting the astrological charts and then invitations are sent. Before the marriage date, both the parties spend a lot of time in preparation and exchange of gifts. On the marriage day, the bride and the bridegroom and relations on both sides assemble in a public auditorium or a temple premises and participate in an elaborate ceremony conducted by a priest.

The marriage ceremony is generally a lengthy affair. A lot of vedic mantras are chanted during the ceremony, while a band plays on in the back ground. All the guests are entertained with food and beverages. Meat and alcohol are not generally served during such ceremonies, except in some communities. In the last part of the ceremony the bridegroom ties a sacred thread (mangalsutram) or a gold necklace around the bride's neck with three knots, accepts her hand in marriage (panigrahanam) and then takes seven steps (saptapadi) together with her, uttering vows of friendship, loyalty and righteousness. After this both of them play some traditional games between themselves to lighten the atmosphere and provide entertainment to the guests. This is followed by a gift ceremony during which the couple acknowledge the gifts brought by the guests for the their wedding.

One of the important ceremonies associated with Hindu marriages is the handing over ceremony (bidai), which bears a lot of sentimental significance for the girl's family. During this ceremony the bride is handed over to the bridegroom and his parents by the brides parents, amidst a display of rare emotions, with a request to look after their daughter for the rest of her life. After this, the bride leaves her parents house permanently to spend the rest of her life in her husband's house.

Hindus accept registered marriages also as a part of the social changes that are sweeping across their society. But many would prefer a traditional marriage for the sake of the sentimental thrill that is associated with them.

A few simple and straight facts about Hindu marriages:

1. Hindus consider marriage as a sacred relationship, between two souls, not just two bodies.

2. Hindus believe that the marriage relationship extends beyond one life.

3. In the traditional marriage, the bride and the bridegroom are considered as divinities. The bride is first married to gods and then placed under the bridegroom's protection as a gift from gods.

4. At the time of marriage, the bridegroom ties a sacred thread around the bride's neck and accepts her hand (panigrahanam.) in marriage. Then they both take seven steps (saptapadi) together around the fire uttering vows of friendship and mutual loyalty.

5. Hindu marriage tradition recognizes the importance of a woman in the family. She is expected to share the responsibilities of the household like a goddess (grihalakshmi) and enjoy the love and care of her husband and children.