In the Roman Catholic Church, it is also possible to annul a marriage. This is an affirmation that the marriage bond did not exist, whereas the breaking of a bond that did exist is called ‘dissolution’. There are several reasons for why a marriage can be annulled. These are:
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A lack of consent (e.g. somebody has been forced into a marriage)
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A lack of judgement (e.g. if somebody marries without being fully aware of what marriage is really about)
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An inability to carry out the duties of marriage (e.g. somebody might be mentally very ill)
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A lack of intention (e.g. if one of the partners intends at the time of the marriage not to have children)
In Christianity it is believed that marriage is forever. In the wedding ceremony, several things illustrate this, including the exchange of rings. The circle of the ring being a symbol of eternity, to resemble that marriage is for eternity. The wedding vows ‘…till death us do part’. The promise of marriage is made to God in front of witnesses, which is why the bride and groom walk up the isle. Therefore, a divorce is not just breaking a promise between two people, unlike in Islam, but with God as well. This is why divorce is seen as something that should only be carried out if it is unavoidable.
Also divorce in Islam is highly discouraged, Islam makes provisions for legal divorce. Although Islam encourages the stability of marriage and the need for its continuance, it also realises that in human nature, obviously not all marriages will work. They believe that divorce should always be the last resort, after all other attempts to put things right have failed. Divorce in Islam should not be taken lightly because it does not engage in long formal procedures, although some people do take advantage of the system.
In Islam a divorce can be obtained by mutual consent – there are two types of divorce by mutual consent. These are:
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Mubara’ah – this is where the husband and wife settle amongst themselves to terminate the marriage and they also determine the financial arrangements.
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Khul – this is where either the husband or wife decides to divorce their partner. If the wife has a legitimate criticism against her husband, she can divorce him by returning his marriage gift to her in exchange for dissolution for the marriage. If the husband is the one seeking divorce, he may not request his gifts back unless he can prove that his wife is guilty of immorality. The dowry is frequently what deters any husband who is willing to divorce his wife nonchalantly.
However, for a divorce to be considered valid both partners need to be rational and not under pressure from any outside sources, and the divorce must be clear to all.
There are seven different grounds for which a wife can divorce her husband:
- Inability or refusal of her husband to maintain her.
- Abuse or mistreatment.
- Impotence of her husband.
- Incurable, repulsive disease, or insanity of her husband.
- Extended absence, or desertion if the husband has not communicated.
- The husband’s imprisonment.
- Deception at the completion of the contract, or concealment of important information concerning the marriage.
A divorce that is requested by the husband is known as talaq. The reason of the divorce has to be announced three times. Because of the laws of Islam which state that a husband have to be admirable and understanding, it is considered as an abuse if he does not inform the wife about the divorce until the last moment. There should be a time before the divorce comes to a closure called the waiting period or iddah. Although this period is customarily three months, it can be as long as nine months if the woman is pregnant, or as little as 31 days if the husband is assured that she is not pregnant. During the iddah the wife is free to stay living at home, allowed a full maintenance and should be treated properly. This time is where both the husband and wife are given the opportunity to try once more.
If the husband and wife do decide to make a go of their marriage again, there is no need for remarriage if it is during the period of iddah. However, if the couple do decide to remarry, but it is after the period of iddah, they may remarry, but only with a new contract. This type of remarriage is allowed for a second and a third time.
But if the wife has already divorced and remarried her husband twice, a third marriage is not permitted until the woman has been properly married to a different man. However, in Islam, the couple cannot take advantage of the rules by organizing another marriage and then planning a divorce straight away in order for them to remarry a third time. It is also considered good practice if there is at least one month between the divorces.
In some cases, the women’s family may try to persuade her not to remarry, but no one at all is allowed to prevent a woman from marrying whomever she desires.
Although it is the women’s right in Islam, many women are too shy to mention a talaq. But a wife may only divorce by talaq if it was agreed at the time of marriage and then put in the contract.
In a marriage, if the woman is accused of adultery a divorce can usually be obtained. However, adultery needs top be proved by li’an. To prove adultery by li’an there needs to be four eyewitnesses. If there are not four eyewitnesses, the husband may swear four times over that he is being honest, and the wife may swear her innocence. The overall judgement is then left to their eternal fate. Usually the marriage is considered beyond repair and a divorce is granted.
In Islam, when a divorce is made, and children are concerned, they usually remain in the custody of the mother, unless in certain inappropriate situations. Even though the children usually end up ion the mothers’ custody, the father still remains responsible for their upkeep. If the children involved are old enough to make to express their own rational opinions, their requests should be accounted for.
In some practices, if the husband is to blame for the divorce, it is mandatory for him to pay his divorcees living expenses for a year.
