Roman Catholic Marriage
There are four main aspects of Roman Catholic marriage : Marriage is a sign to the world, Marriage is permanent, Marriage is exclusive and Marriage is life-giving. To find out all the teachings of the Catholic Church on marriage we must look at bible references, the Catechism of the Catholic Church, other Church teachings and the words from the marriage ceremony.
Marriage is one of seven sacraments, which are powerful signs. In free churches such as Methodist, marriage is not a sacrament and is not such a solemn event. When a couple are married, they are showing the world their love and commitment for each other. The Roman Catholic Church teaches that it reflects Jesus' love for us and the Church and that we can follow Jesus' example in our love for our partner by getting married to them and staying with them for the rest of our lives. In marriage we are asked to love each other in a permanent way and the closeness of the union should be a sign of Christ's closeness to the Church. It is an everlasting partnership and can not be broken. In Ephesians 5:23-33, St Paul says,
'For a man to love his wife is for him to love himself'
This shows a man must love his wife as much as he loves himself and must be prepared to love and stand by her for the rest of their lives. They must be willing to support each other through good and bad times and they must always be there for each other. The Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraph 1638 says,
'In a Christian marriage the spouses are strengthened and, as it were, consecrated for the duties and the dignity of their state by a special sacrament'
Through marriage, the relationship is 'sealed and strengthened' and they are united for the rest of their lives. The couple has Christ's and the Church's blessing and support and he is always there to help them in times of need. The sacrament of Matrimony,
'gives spouses the grace to love each other with the love with which Christ has loved the church'. (Catechism of the Catholic Church para. 1661)
In a Catholic marriage the couple always have the support of God and the church, the blessing during the ceremony asks that the couple may be 'living examples of Christian life', to show others their love for each other. Marriage is also a public affair. It needs the couple to sign the register, so they are officially married and to confirm they have not been forced into it. It needs witnesses to witness the vows exchanged and friends and families of the wedded are invited so they can see the couples love for each other.
Then Roman Catholic Church believes that marriage is for life. Once the couple have said their vows they can not leave each and are married for life. In Mark 10:9, Mark says,
'the two will become one'
This means that the couple are now joined together in a very special way and have an unbreakable bond. It is everlasting. In Corinthians 7:10-11, St Paul says,
'For married people I have a command which is not my own but the Lord's: a wife must not leave her husband; but if she does, she must remain single or else be reconciled to her husband: and a husband must not divorce his wife. '
This is saying that Christ says, a wife can never leave her husband and if she does, she can never get married again. The Catechism of the Catholic Church para. 1640 says,
'The marriage bond has been established by God himself in such a way that a marriage concluded and consummated between baptised persons can never be dissolved.'
This is saying that even if the couple seek a divorce outside the Church, in the eyes of the Church they are still married. In the wedding vows, the couple say,
'for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.'
Here they promise that they will love and care for each other, no matter what happens and they will stay together till they die. It is their duty to do so. Divorce in the Catholic Church is not recognised. Jesus said,
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This is saying that even if the couple seek a divorce outside the Church, in the eyes of the Church they are still married. In the wedding vows, the couple say,
'for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.'
Here they promise that they will love and care for each other, no matter what happens and they will stay together till they die. It is their duty to do so. Divorce in the Catholic Church is not recognised. Jesus said,
' A man who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against his wife. In the same way a woman who divorces her husband and marries another man commits adultery.' (Mark 10:10-12)
This is saying that divorce does not separate the marriage bonds and the couple would be committing adultery if they remarried. It also says in the Catechism of the Catholic Church para. 2384,
'Divorce is a grave offence against the natural law and claims to break the contract, to which spouses freely consented to live with each other till death.'
The couple have made a covenant with God through marriage and the covenant can never be broken. The Catholic Church teaches that the couple have to be committed to each other for life. However, most non-Catholic churches allow divorced people to remarry, as long as they talk to their minister about why their first marriage failed to make sure that their second marriage won't fail. Most Christians do not approve of divorce, saying that you can not take lifelong vows twice and that Jesus, Himself, banned divorce. In specific cases, however, the Roman Catholic Church allows a marriage to be annulled if the couple declare and provide evidence that it was never a true marriage. For example, if one partner was forced into the marriage or one partner did not intend to keep the marriage vows. A marriage can also be dissolved if it has never been consummated. This can be a very lengthy and costly process. If the marriage is having problems, priest and parishioners can help the couple overcome their difficulties and try to be reconciled. They could also go to the Catholic Marriage Advisory Council which councils anyone regardless to marital status or belief.
Once two people are married they become one and they should remain faithful to each other, sex is completely natural to them and a necessary part of marriage. In Matthew 5:27, Matthew says,
'You have heard it said, ' Do not commit adultery,' But now I tell you: anyone who looks at a woman and wants to possess her is guilty of committing adultery with her in his heart.'
Also in the 10 commandments, the fourth commandment is,
'Do not commit adultery.'
Once, married we should never even think about committing adultery because we have promised to stay faithful to each other for the rest of our lives. The Catholic Church teaches that sex belongs exclusively to a man and woman who are married as sex has been given to us from God, to create children and therefore, sex before and outside marriage is wrong and is a grave sin. There are many reasons why it is wrong. Sex has been given to us from God to create children, it is very special and intimate and should only be used within marriage and should not be abused. It can result in a child when there is no commitment in the relationship because no form of contraception is 100% reliable. It can also lead to the contraction of AID's Some Christians believe that couples may live together before marriage, as long as they marry when starting a family, so their children have commitment and stability. In marriage they make a promise with God,
'Are you ready to love and honour each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?
To this they reply, 'I do'. Here they are telling of their commitment for each other, in front of family and friends, saying that they intend to be with each other till they die. In the blessing and exchange of rings, they tell their wife/husband,
'take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity.'
Here the couple are declaring their love and faithfulness to each other. In 1968, Pope Paul VI aid,
'Married love if faithful and exclusive of all others, and this until death'.
He is saying that marriage makes a relationship more special and important and that it should last until death. Marriage creates a special bond between two people. The Catechism of the Catholic Church para.1638, also says something similar,
'From a valid marriage arises a bond between the spouses which by its very nature is perpetual and exclusive.
Children are part of the faithfulness in marriage. He who commits adultery
'compromises the good of human generation and the welfare of children who need their parent' stable union.' (Catechism of the Catholic Church para. 1640)
It is important for parents to stay together, if only for the children as it is important for children to be brought up by two parents as it gives them commitment and stability, and gives them a happier childhood, where they know their parents love them. Adultery can lead to break ups.
If two people get married, they have to be willing to accept children from God. Sex is a natural and essential aspect of marriage where the couple can express their love for each other. Through having children they will share the love with the child.. marriage makes us feel more alive and we have a stable and committed relationship, so it is only right to bring children into the world. In the marriage ceremony they sign a contract with God. The priest says:
'Are you ready to accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and His Church?'
The couple reply to this: 'I am.' They have to accept children as a gift from God and they should be lovingly accepted. The Catechism of the Catholic Church para. 1601 also says,
'the matrimonial covenant by which man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered towards the good of the spouses and the procreation of offspring.'
The Church teaches that barrier methods of contraception such as condoms and the pill are wrong as they are stopping the sperm from getting to the egg, therefore deliberately preventing a baby. This is interfering with the creative process of God. However, many Catholic couples choose to ignore this teaching in the modern day world. Other churches also allow contraception, saying that there is a need for family planning. The Roman Catholic Church allows natural family planning such as the temperature method, the calendar method and the
Billings method which are used in conjunction with each to work out the safe period of the month for the couple to have sex without pregnancy. The Church is also against abortion because it is evil and it is killing the conceived baby. The baby should not have to pay with its life for the mistakes of its parents. It has a right to live and it is against Gods creative act to abort it because it is deliberately preventing new life from beginning. Family life is also very important within the Catholic Church. St Paul says in Colossians 3:19-21,
'Children it is your Christian duty to obey your parents always, for that is what pleases God. Parents do not irritate your children, or they will be discouraged.'
Parents should be willing to share their love with their children and bring up a family lovingly, as Pope John Paul 2 said,
'The love of husband and wife in God's plan leads beyond itself and new life is generated, a family is born.'
Children are one of the most important aspects of marriage as it says in Psalm 127 Verse 3.
'Children are gifts from the Lord, they are a real blessing.
Evaluation
'The Roman Catholic Church does not allow divorcees to remarry in the Church.'
The Catholic Church forbids divorcees to remarry as in the eyes of the Church they are still married to their first partner and therefore would be committing adultery. Many people agree with this. In Mark 10:10-12, Jesus says,
'A man who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against his wife. In the same way, a woman who divorces her husband and marries another man commits adultery.'
In this passage, Jesus is banning remarriage, saying that divorce does not separate the marriage bonds and the couple would be committing adultery if they remarried because in the eyes of the Church, they are still married to their first partner. Other people agree with this statement because in marriage, we take life-long vows to stay with our partner till we die,
'till death do us part.'
Many Catholics would think that remarrying makes a mockery of this as it is impossible to make the same life-long promise to God twice. In his eyes, we are still married to our first partner. It is going against His blessing a and we are breaking our promise to him. If the Catholic Church allowed remarriage, it would be saying that divorce is an option in the first place. In marriage, a couple promise to be,
'living examples of Christian life.'
So through divorce and remarriage, they are setting a bad example to others. It gives a bad sign to their family and friends who were there at their first wedding.
Some would say that the children of the divorcees will also suffer if their parents divorce and remarry. He who commits adultery and gets remarried,
'compromises the good of human generation and the welfare of children who need their parents' stable union.' (Catechism of the Catholic Church' para. 1640)
Others would argue that divorce and remarriage is extremely distressful for their children who need the commitment and stability of their parents' marriage. They may not like their parents' new partner who they will have to live with. This will cause the child all sorts of heartache. Remarriage is final for the previous marriage and there is no chance for the original couple to get back together. It is a final decision and it can not be changed. The partner has moved on to another partner so chances of reconciliation are very small. Another argument against remarriage is that if a man/woman's first marriage failed, there is nothing to prove that their second marriage won't fail too as they may not be determined enough to make it work.
However, on the other side of the argument, many Christians disagree with this statement. Many people within the Roman Catholic Church seek a divorce outside the Church and get remarried in a registry office. The Church does not recognise this as a marriage and sees them as committing adultery on their previous partner. They are not allowed to receive the Eucharist. Many people argue that this is too harsh as it is pushing many otherwise devoted Catholics away from the Church, in times when the Church has falling amounts of followers. They say it is out of date and is not suitable in the modern day world, where many couples from in and outside the Church get divorces. It is alienating followers. Others argue that everyone should be given a second chance for their marriage to work as the church is meant to be forgiving and reconciling. Also, if their first partner wasn't 'the one', they should be allowed to remarry, because they have found someone else that they sincerely love and it is only right for them to have another go at marriage together.
In John (8:1-11), Jesus forgave the woman who committed adultery and gave her another chance to start again, telling her not to sin again, so we should follow his example and forgive those who have remarried to people they love. It is also a second chance to have children if they didn't have children in their first marriage. People may also reason that if there were children from first marriage, it would be better for them to be brought up by two happily married parents in a loving and stable environment.
People may say that the Church's teaching on divorce is unfair to women who were in abusive marriages where their husbands had abused them. It would only be fair that they should be given a second chance at marriage, with a decent, loving husband and that it is right for them to be divorced from someone who treated them so badly.
Having explored the various ideas concerning this topic, I disagree with the statement because I think that if there is no chance for the divorcees to get back together, they should be given a second chance if they find someone else that they sincerely love. They should be able to act on the feelings they have for that person. Just as Jesus forgave the woman who committed adultery, we should forgive divorcees. As times change the Church has to modernise itself to keep up with these changes such as the increase in divorce or it will lose out on a lot of followers. It is also better for children to have two parents bringing them up as it provides them with financial and emotional stability. It also gives the opportunity to have children if they missed out on the chance in their first marriage because,
'Children are gifts from the Lord, they are a real blessing.' (Psalm 127 Verse 3.)
Bibliography
The Good News Bible
The Catechism of the Catholic Church
Roman Catholic Christianity by Clare Richards
Catholic Christianity Today by M Elson and VW Watton
Dimensions of Christianity by Sister Anne Burke
Rite of Marriage
Teachers notes