Stars, Supernova and Black holes

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Stars, Supernova and Black holes

        Stars have been around for a long time it starts from a concentration of mass in a cloud of gas and dust this started from a process of collapse. This concentration attracted matter to itself by gravity and the whole cloud started to fall in on itself. As it started to shrink, the cloud began to spin. Gas and dust were pulled in to the centre as they clashed together; it caused the temperature to rise. As the cloud collapsed more and more, it spun faster and faster, as it spinning, it flattened out until a disc formed around a central core to form what is called a solar nebula. Most of the gas and dust from the spinning cloud were released in huge plumes above and below the forming star. The pressure and temperature in the middle of the cloud eventually became so great that the atoms started to fuse releasing huge amounts of energy, and then the star started to shine.

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The sun is a star, like the other stars it is a ball of very hot gas. The sun gives us huge amounts of energy into space. The energy that keeps the sun shining is produced in its centre or core. The pressure in the core is enormous, and the temperature reaches 15 million degrees centre grade. Under these conditions, atoms of hydrogen gas join together to form another gas called helium. This process is called nuclear fusion. The sun is a very important star in the sky, the sun not only lights and heats the earth and it is ...

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This is, overall a competent piece of scientific writing. While there is some information missing and a few grammatical/spelling errors, there are alot of very relevant and important facts. The writer has explained the formation of the stars well and the stages in stars of different sizes. The tone of the writing becomes a little informal towards the end, but does not really detract from the quality of the piece.

Here's what a star student thought of this essay

Spelling is of a good standard. The writer has made points clear but at times they could have made sure that grammar was checked over. Also, the writer should have avoided starting sentences with "And". The work flows very well and the structure makes it easy to follow.

The level of scientific language used is of a very high standard. The writer was able to explain each process very well, making each point clear and precise. If the writer wanted to go into much more detail and go beyond the GCSE syllabus, they could have mentioned the "hertzsprung-russell diagram". This is a very informative piece.

The writer has a well written report, and was able to explain the processes mentioned in the question to a high standard. It was good that the writer used the introduction to explain the general outline of the essay and therefore was able to catch the readers attention. When they started to mention the process of how a star is formed, they should have discussed the idea of pressure causing the temperature of the gas to increase and therefore fuse to form a star. However, they were able to explain the rest of the process to a high standard. It was good that the writer was able to mention the process of nuclear fusion and why it's so important to keep the life of the star going. It was also interesting that the writer mentioned what would happen to the earth once our own sun what is a star dies. the writers explanation of a supernovae and a black hole was of a high standard. However, some of the language that the writer uses towards the end of the essay becomes slightly informal, for example "And nobody will ever because apart from being killed, the person would not be able to send information back to earth because the radio signals would not escape from the hole." Apart from this, this is a very well written essay.