The solar system consists of nine planets which all orbit the sun. BIRTH OF THE PLANETS Before there was a sun, stars lived and died across the Universe

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The solar system is the part of the Universe and is dominated by the sun, which is the brightest and most visually accessible object in the sky. It is just a star but appears so bright because it is closer to us. The solar system consists of nine planets which all orbit the sun.

BIRTH OF THE PLANETS

Before there was a sun, stars lived and died across the Universe and the rest hanged in clouds of duct. The sun and planets were born from the space clouds about 4,600 million years ago.

MOVING AROUND THE SUN

The solar system is a very small part of the Milky Way. It is made up of the sun and the nine major planets. All planets circle around the sun in different distances from it, following in an elliptical (oval shaped) path. The inner planets are relatively small, rocky balls of liquid gas with no solid surface.

Key

Mercury – Very hot, about 500 degrees Celsius in the daytime and –175 degrees Celsius at night. Almost no atmosphere. Rocky surface.

Venus – Very hot, about 480 degrees Celsius thick, dense atmosphere – clouds of carbon dioxide, which traps suns heat. Rocky crated surface.

Earth – Temperature range at 60 degrees Celsius to – 90 degrees Celsius. Atmosphere of mainly nitrogen and oxygen. 75%of surface covered with water.

Mars – Freezing temperatures. Atmosphere mainly carbon dioxide. Red, rocky surface.

Jupiter – Largest planet mostly made up of clouds of gas and ice crystals. Atmosphere of hydrogen and helium. Tiny particles and rocks form a ring round it.

Saturn – Enormous ball of hydrogen and methane gas, with solid core. Circled by rings of thousands of block of ice.

Uranus – Bluey green planet due to atmosphere methane. Very low temperatures. May have solid core. Nine rings circle it.

Neptune – Receives little light from the sun, so extremely low temperature thought to have rocky core covered in ice crust.

Pluto – Smallest planet. Thought to have no atmosphere and thick icy crust-surrounding core.

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THE EARTH

The Earth is the only place in the solar system where life seems to flourish. It is a colourful planet of green spaces, deserts, deep oceans and fields of ice. It is the right distance away from the sun for water to exist as a liquid. Below are some details about the planet Earth:

  • Equatorial diameter: 12, 756km.
  • Average distance from the sun: 150, 000, 000km.
  • Orbits the sun in 365 days 6 hours.
  • Spins around in: 23hrs 56mins.
  • Mass: 1.
  • Density (water = 1): 5.5.
  • Tempreture: High - 58 degrees Celsius, low ...

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The way in which the candidate has displayed the information throughout their work could be improved as it makes the essay hard to follow. This is mainly due to the use of bullet points and short sentences, which leave the essay feeling jumpy as the information is presented as an amalgamation of facts. When writing an essay you should be discussing information in continual prose i.e full paragraphs. In addition to this, there are a few grammatical and spelling errors within this piece of writing, you should always make time to proof read your work, as this can help you avoid these errors.

At one point within this essay, the candidate has used a table to show data relating to each of the planets, while this is an acceptable way to display this type of information, it is sensible to include a paragraph of text referring to this, if your not going to refer to images or data within you essay then you don’t really need to include them as it just detracts from what you have to say. That said, the candidate has included a lot of information within this piece of work, it is therefore evident that they have taken the time to research this topic, this is always a good idea as it demonstrates your ability to work independently, it gives you a chance to broaden your knowledge and it shows enthusiasm towards your subject. In addition to this, the extra information you are able to include in your work can make your essay more enjoyable to read. However you must clearly state any resources you have used in the form of a bibliography, the candidate has listed the books they have used and has sensibly included the authors name but simply listing the ‘internet’ as a source is not useful. You need to provide links to any webpages you have gathered information from, so that all of the resources you have used are clear. This is important as it can prevent you being accused of plagiarism. On another note, this essay has no conclusion, which is a mistake, you should always conclude you work, by not doing so you can leave the reader feeling confused and the purpose of an essay is to present your best work and leave the reader with a good impression. A good conclusion should summarise keys points you have made throughout your work, with a note to why these are important as this help to draw your work to a close. You then need to give a personal response to your topic, which could be what you have learnt form writing your essay, this is important as your teacher/examiner is interested in what you have to say.

The candidate has attempted to give an explicit response, they show a good range of knowledge and they have discussed topics that many people would not think to include for this essay topic. However the information the candidate has included is fairly brief and they simply don’t go into enough detail. However, the candidate starts this essay with a good description of our Solar system, though their introduction still has some room for improvement. A good introduction needs to clearly state exactly what you are going to discuss so that the premise of your essay is clear. It is also important to engage the reader, which means they are more likely to read all of your work. There are several ways in which you can catch the readers attention, you could include an interesting fact or quote relating to your topic or you could briefly discuss recent scientific discoveries that are relevant.