So we were always encouraged to give respect to my brother.- Line 56
But also I felt he was very supportive of me. I think he felt I was the youngest, he had to protect me, look after me. – Line 56-58
And so sometimes I feel little pressured to be as good as my brother. – Line 65-66
From reading this interview I noticed that Assan only briefly mentions his mother. He talks mainly about how his father is head of the family and important figure in his society. His mother is only mentioned once.
Within the house itself, you know, the mother is the dominant person, but you know, as a man growing up in Yemen where I was born, the father would be the first person that you would seek guidance from…. – Line 22-25
Another theme which was identified was – Lack of friendships.
Assan speaks in the interview about how he has many friends due to him moving schools a lot.
Because we move very much from place to place and country to country, I was very fast at making friends very quickly at school because I was constantly being the new, new boy in the classroom. – Lines 70-72.
But he also speaks about how he has no close friendships due to his moving around so much.
The other side of this is that because I move so quickly, I mean move from place to place, is that I don’t have friendships that go very long time back, so not how you would say very deep friendship. – Lines 85-88.
Discussion
This study was aimed to discover how Assan sees significant others in his life affecting his development. Assan appears to have formed a secure relationship with his father and it seems his father is being the most important caregiver during Assans childhood. This fits in with Bowlbys attachment theory and inner working model in that Assan would have felt a drive to feel security from his Father.
Reflexive Analysis
The thematic analysis used in this interview was my own interpretation of it and other researchers may analyse this differently.
As a child I have always lived in the same place and have not moved around constantly like Assan so cannot relate to him in that sense. I cannot even begin to imagine what it would be like to move schools quite often and have to make new friends everytime. Also as a child my Father constantly worked away so in our house my Mother was seen as the head of the household.
I found the interview was affected by using an actor to play the part of Assan. He did not show any emotion when speaking about past experiences.
References
Wood, C., Littleton, K. and Oates, J. (2007). Lifespan Development. In T. Cooper and I. Roth (Eds), Challenging Psychological Issues (pp3-54). Milton Keynes : The Open University.
Appendices
Appendix 1 – Transcript of interview with Assan
COMMENTARY: Assan is a thirty-five-year-old man who was born in the Yemen and grew up in the Middle East. His family came to Britain when he was fifteen years old, where he has lived since. He is the youngest of nine children, most of whom live in Yemen. Neither of his parents are alive. Assan is a journalist with an Arabic news agency. He is married with no children.
Interview with Assan
JULIA WILLERTON: Thank you for coming along today, Assan. As we discussed on the telephone, the focus of these research interviews is to look at the relationships that you’ve had with significant other people in the past. And also to look at how those relationships have shaped you in the current relationships that are in your life. Throughout the interview, if you feel uncomfortable at any time, then obviously we could stop the interview at that point and you’d be free at the end of the interview to say if you really didn’t want the material to be used and to withdraw from that.
ASSAN: Okay. I understand.
JULIA WILLERTON: Okay. Can you tell me something, Assan, about the significant relationships that you had when you were growing up?
ASSAN: The first would be my father, simply because the society that we come from we … a father is a very important figure, is head of the household, but within the house itself, you know, the mother is the dominant person, but you know, as a man growing up in Yemen where I was born, the father would be the first person that you would seek guidance from, he’d be your spiritual leader, everything, is very important. And my father was a man who travelled a lot, because of his job. He was a merchandiser, so we never stayed in one place for very long.
JULIA WILLERTON: Can you say a little more about how the relationship with your father perhaps influenced the later relationships that you’ve had?
ASSAN: My father was someone who always, because of his job, always encouraged us to mix with people and get to know other cultures as well. We come from a Muslim background but I had friends from all different backgrounds, different religions and my father always encouraged us to not be narrow-minded, to be open-minded, to question, to understand, to create a better relationship. And my father encouraged me to sit down and discuss and question, you know, what did I learn at school, so he could understand for himself, and then to encourage me to ask, ask these questions and to be open minded and to get a good idea of the world around us and the way other people might think and what they might feel. So these things are all, all part and parcel of growing up with a father who was open minded, allowed us to question and encourage us to question. I really valued that and enjoyed that relationship with him when he was still … when he was travelling and sharing his stories with us when he’d come back.
JULIA WILLERTON: Can you say a little more about your family and where you were in the context of the family?
ASSAN: I come from a large family compared to what you might consider here. There was nine of us, five brothers, four sisters and I’m the youngest. My brother was the eldest. He was a … in some respects similar to father figure in that he was quite a bit older than me, but he was someone who I looked up to because my father was sometime not there all the time, you know, sometimes my older brother would take up the role of the head of family within, within our, within our family. So we were always encouraged to give respect to my brother. But also I felt he was very supportive of me. I think he felt I was the youngest, he had to protect me, look after me. When I was at school he would make sure I would fit in. He would ask me who my friends are. He would say to me: who are these friends? And he would encourage me to make sure that I was with friends with … boys that he considered were good and from good families and that he knew of, and it was good to be in a classroom where the teacher obviously knew of him and they said: oh, your brother’s very good student, you must, he must … you will be like him too. And so sometimes I feel little pressured to be as good as my brother.
JULIA WILLERTON: You said that when you were growing up, Assan, that your family moved around quite a lot. Can you tell us a little bit more about that and sort of impact that had on you in the relationships that you had?
ASSAN: Yes. Because we move very much from place to place and country to country, I was very fast at making friends very quickly at school because I was constantly being the new, new boy in the classroom. So I … And because of how I was brought up to ask people questions to get to understand them, I asked questions very fast, you know, how, where are you from, what’s your background and why, why is it like this? So people could relate to me quickly, even though at first they might say who this is new person, we don’t trust. By me being myself and being open and asking them questions, they feel they get to know me and they feel that this person is not so bad after all. So this has helped me within my job as well because I’m a journalist, I have to travel a lot across the world and see, go to many different places and to make these contacts, even within my job you have to be a person who is open, ask questions, be inquisitive and to gain people’s trust to make them open. So I feel I have this because we move around so much and able to make relationships fast. The other side of this is that because I move so quickly, I mean move from place to place, is that I don’t have friendships that go very long time back, so not how you would say very deep friendship. Because simply we move on, you try to stay in contact, but obviously you move on, you have new people to meet and so it goes on and on. Sometimes the … Although I said I make friends very quickly, I have many, many friends all over the world. Because I am not there for a very long time, I don’t develop these big, deep understanding relationships. So sometimes I do feel that we are friendly but we are not completely … I understand or you understand where I’m coming from. Sometimes I feel really, with regards to myself, because I move around so much, I feel who is, where am I really from, what is my own, own background, where is home for me? So I sometimes feel sometimes maybe I … do I understand them, I question myself, do I really understand? I try, I try to be open and ask as much, but do I really have an understanding because I’m not from that culture or country. It’s not under skin, as they say.
JULIA WILLERTON: Can you say something, Assan, about the current relationships that are going on in your life?
ASSAN: Yes, I am married to a lady called Alya. We are very close. We do not have any children yet. This is something that we have been discussing about. I think I would like family. I came from a very big family, I have many brothers and sisters and so I feel one day I hope I’m able to have this with Alya. It’s just a question of my job, it’s a little difficult at present because it will be difficult for me to leave Alya with children because I would go away from home and this would be difficult for her, I think. And so I want to support her in this. I know she’s, she’s very keen to have children, start a family. I would like to but it’s difficult at present because of the job. I do have to leave UK quite a lot. I want to be a father who, who is there and supportive of my children and to give as much as like my father give, even though my father not there long time, he very, he spent very long time with children and with me, who discuss, ask me how I am, what I learn and wanting to know a lot about me. I hope one day I able to, I’m able to do this for my children.
JULIA WILLERTON: Would you like to say anything else about relationships that are important to you in your life at the moment, Assan?
ASSAN: Yes. Someone who I, who I quite look up to at present I would say is my boss, and he’s someone who has encouraged me a lot to try to do better in my job, to … and encourage my, he said my inquisitive nature, to encourage me to be like this more, but to go further, to really get under and understand, and this helped me to be better within my job and also better for him. But he, he’s someone who very much encouraged, encouraged me and be very supportive and give me encouragement to, to do my job. And always he say to me: you do very good job for me. I want you to go, go more, take more step, take more chance and bring me something that really you think you won’t be able to do. So I feel he’s someone who has belief in me and who wants to see me do better, but also encouraging but wants me to do better. So I push myself more for him. He is very good within all team, within my work for that, but he very good for me I think.
JULIA WILLERTON: Thanks very much for that, Assan, that was great. I’d just like to check, how did taking part in that interview feel for you?
ASSAN: I feel I enjoy speaking to you really. I think it make me reflect on me as a person, I feel I’m going to leave the room, having spoken to you, with I suppose things I never think about before. And I think I have more understanding of my own self. So it has been very interesting for me.
JULIA WILLERTON: I’d just like to reiterate that the interview’s going to be transcribed and, and the details will be changed so that you won’t be able to be identified from that, Assan. I’d like you to sign a consent form, simply to say that you understand, really, that the interview is going to be used for research purposes.
ASSAN: Okay.
JULIA WILLERTON: And thank you very much once again for taking part.
ASSAN: No, you are welcome.