Attachment is the core base for creating a good relationship between the mother and infant. Attachment theory is dominated by findings of Bowlby (1969, 1973, 1988) who researched the importance of bonds in early infants’ lives and introduced his theory of Internal working model , which suggests that every child bases the knowledge of the world around on their experiences with the environment they are in. Based on their experience they create and Internal working model of expectations and understanding of relationships. Internal working model continues throughout the childhood and beyond and although it does not necessarily remain the same it provides a template for new relationships. This may have positive or negative implications even into the adulthood and the way people are able or unable to create and maintain new relationships.
Different kinds of attachment were further researched by Ainsworth (1962, 1969, 1971, 1978) who developed Strange Situation Assessment technique to research the different kinds of attachment and classified three different types of attachment – secure, insecure-resistant, insecure-avoidant. Main and Solomon (1990) later identified a fourth group – disorganized. Attachment types are interlinked with Internal working model of the self, ‘the other’ and the relationship between these. Secure and stable attachment is the most beneficial to the child and is achieved through mutual understanding, adjustment and sensitivity to the infant’s needs and temperament. The positive outcomes of secure attachment were observed by Main et al (1985) who conducted a research on children who were securely attached at 12 month, with a good Internal working model and later observed that at the age of 6 years they were more emotionally open than children who were previously categorised as insecurely attached. Similar findings were found by Cassidy (1998) with children who behave securely in Strange Situation Assessment at the age of 12 to 18 months represent themselves positively in interviews as young adults.
Although the Attachment types theory may be applicable in western societies, this remains culturally specific and cannot be applied to other cultures who may value different kinds of attachment as offering more advantage for the child and the mother within such society. (J. Oates et al., 2005)
The importance of mother-infant bond is crucial for their further interaction and infants’ good development. Though it is not always as easy and there are many influences, such as post-natal depression, child’s difficult behaviour, tiredness etc, which may intervene with successful bonding from both mother and infant. Bonding is a two-way process where the mother affects the infant and the infant affects the mother. As it has been proved by many researchers, infants are very sensitive to their environment and the way mothers interact with them effects their behaviour. (Goldberg 1994, p. 32)
Mothers need to find a way to tune in with their infants. The way mothers adjust their behaviour to the needs of the infant is very important way to engage the baby in social environment and offers the infant a way to learn about their first relationships. It allows the child to interact with mother’s physical and language expressions such as imitation and baby talk and offers them a first insight into social world and introduction to language as a form of expression . It is important to introduce what Bruner (1975)named as Scaffolding in mother and child interactions which is seen as a way of interaction between mother and infant and allows the child to achieve results which they wouldn’t be able without the help of an adult. Being able to provide interaction and independence means that the infant can thrive in secure environment and is not overloaded with stimulation. I believe that as much as it is important to have general knowledge of what is beneficial to the infant it is important to adjust the environment and approach according to the baby’s needs and let intuition guide mothers in some situations. This is supported by finding s of Meins (2001) who highlighted the importance of emotional communication and especially the sensitivity of parenting and ability to understand the infant and except them as their own person.
The inability to recognize the emotional and social needs of the child may lead to problematic settling and withdrawal of the child and their passivity, increased irregular feeding and sleeping patterns, increased crying and may even cause emotional developmental difficulties such as disturbed and aggressive behaviour later in life. (J. Oates et al., 2005)
Parenting style plays an important role in child’s development. It looks at the way it affects children from very early years all the way to adolescence and further into adulthood. The way parents display their parenting style effects the response they are likely to get from children. Being able to allow them their independence and yet emphasizing the responsibilities and setting out boundaries is not easy to achieve as it is in nature of children to test parents’ patience and see if they can gain control over their decisions. Trying to achieve a ‘good parenting’ approach means understanding it is a two-way relationship. Parenting style and the effect this may have on child’s development were specified by Baumrind (1967, 1971, 1973, 1975, 1991) who categorized 4 patterns of parenting. A particular pattern of parenting influences the quality of developmental outcome for children. Research supports that authoritative parenting which is characterized as warm relationship, encouraging independence and uses rational explanation for children’s behaviour has better outcomes with regards to social responsibility for children.
The parent-infant interactions and their importance in shaping patterns of attachment behaviour include their close relationships with primary carers, such as mother and father. Also the quality of parent’s relationship is linked with the development of a child. Stable and positive relationship between parents helps creating secure attachment for the child and effects its future development (Gable et al., 2010, p.33)
The parenting approach may have a long term effect on child’s behaviour, especially during adolescence. Parenting styles are very much culturally embedded within different societies and not the same parenting style might be suggested as the best in different cultures and nations. As in some part of the world it is important to keep relationship with your parents in other cultures it may not be perceived as essential. (J. Oates et al., 2005)
The amount of care we give children from the first moment they arrive to this world will help shape their successful development. The needs of children vary from child to child. Each of them is their own little person, with their own emotions, needs, abilities and temperament. They each need to be considered as individuals.
From the research that has been carried into ‘first relationships’ there isn’t a single template to specify ‘good parenting’. Though most of the researchers agree on some aspects of parenting to be globally important such as the importance of mother-infant bond, attachment, interaction and stability in child’s life are all essential for the child’s successful development. The importance of the way we create a stable, loving and understanding attachment with our child will help them shape their future development and increase their ability to successfully enter the stage of adulthood.
It is important to realize that creating attachment or provide successful parenting is not a simple cause-effect system; it is far more complex than this. It is not only the mother or parents affecting the behaviour of the child, but the child also shapes the behaviour of the mother or parents.
The many influences that affect the relationship between parents and children and particularly between mother and the child need close attention in determining how to deal with them and how to avoid the negative influences. Cultural and socio-economic influences take effect on the relationship and parenting styles in different part of the world and though much research has been done in western societies it remains culturally and geographically specific.
I believe that to specify ‘good parenting’ is nearly impossible as it changes from one situation to another and what may be the best approach for one child may not be suitable for another. There will always be limitation to approaches and guidelines in many aspects of what is best for children and how to go about bringing them up. I believe that as long as mothers and fathers keep their children close, offer them love and understanding and support their independence and abilities it will surely count towards ‘good parenting’.
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References:
Ainsworth, M. D. S. (1962, 1969, 1971, 1978) cited in Oates et al (2005), p. 26 – 29
Baumrind, D. (1967, 1971, 1973, 1975, 1991) cited in Oates et al (2005), p. 35 - 36
Bowlby, J. (1966, 1973, 1988) cited in Oates et al(2005), p. 20-25
Bruner, J. S (1975) cited in Oates (2005), p. 275 - 278
Cassidy, J. (1998) cited in Oates et al (2005), p. 37
Gable S., Crnic, K. And Belsky, J. (1994) cited in Oates et al (2005), p. 33
Goldberg, S., MacKay-Soroka, S. and Rochester, M. (1994) cited in Oates et al (2005), p. 32
Harlow, H. F. (1958), cited in Oates et al (2005), p. 18 – 20
Main, M. and Solomon, J. (1990) cited in Oates et al (2005), p. 28
Main, M., Kaplan, N. and Cassidy J. (1985) cited in Oates et al (2005), p. 37
Meins, E., Fernyhough, C., Fradley, E. And Tuckey, M. (2001) cited in Oates et al (2005), p. 34
Oates, J., Lewis, C., Lamb, M. E., (2005) ‘Parenting and attachment’ in Ding, S. and Littleton, K. (eds) Children’s Personal and Social Development, Oxford, Blackwell/The Open University