THE NATURE OF THE ADJUSTMENT

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THE NATURE OF THE ADJUSTMENT

I was leading a normal life until disaster struck on 15th March 2003.  The exact nature of what happened is not all clear to me. All I know is that around two weeks after this date I woke up, lying down on a hospital bed surrounded by family and friends.  Pieces of information started coming together, and I began figuring out what happened.

It was a very traumatic car accident, leaving me with a severe head injury; resulting, amongst many factors, in a loss of balance, headaches, and illegible handwriting.  

I had to face an uphill struggle.  I wasn’t in a position to do much, thus I was given permission to postpone my examinations to September.  This disturbed me, as I could not imagine how I was going to get through summer studying.

Today I regard this as being a major transition that changed me greatly, giving me the crucial opportunity for my personal growth.  I consider it to be a blessing, which has made me mature, look at life differently, and appreciate it more.

THE TRANSITION CYCLE

First Shock

 Initially I had a sense of disbelief.  I couldn’t understand why this had to happen to me.  I couldn’t imagine returning to my previous self, an energetic and hard working individual with so much ahead of me.  

 

Provisional Adjustment

 As time passed, such feelings began fading away.  Many were doing their best to help me out in every way possible.  Knowing people wanted me to return to my normal self, instilled some hope.  I altered my behaviour to adapt to the circumstances helping myself out, by returning to university and attending gym.

Inner Contradictions

Around June, I felt I was going down.  I began questioning myself, and felt that my will was decreasing. Questions such as: ”Will I ever manage to return to normal?” passed through my mind.   I was going through a phase of cognitive dissonance (Williams, 1999).  On the one hand my mind was telling me “Come on you can make it”, but I was feeling irritated and uneasy.  I was giving up, feeling my hopes were diminishing.  My studies began to slack and I was not really bothered for a while.

Inner Crisis

I don’t feel I went through this phase very much.  It overlapped significantly with the previous stage.  

Despite that at the beginning of August I felt more depressed, I knew I had no way out of the situation but to work hard.  

Reconstruction and recovery

I accepted the position I was in, and the new reality I had to confront.  A while before my examinations commenced I started recuperating, and my mental strength was picking up.

The doctors’ reassurance and encouragement, and the fact that I slowly began driving, instilled hope in me again, helping me realise I was able to lead a normal life.

My family had a holiday planned for after my examinations, thus I had what to look forward to.  My ego shot up when I received the examination results, turning out to be positive.  I discovered that with a little extra effort I could make it like anyone else, and I was still as capable as I was before.  I built a great sense of confidence.

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THE DEVELOPMENTAL TASKS ASSOCIATED WITH MY PARTICULAR STAGE IN THE LIFECYCLE

During this period, I was passing through the stage of “Identity vs. Identity/Role Confusion” (Erikson’s psychosocial stages).

I feel that what happened was due to the fact that I was asking myself “Who am I?”; trying to form my identity.  Having a car gave me a feeling of freedom and power.  I began sensing my individuality, wanting to:

  • Define who I was.
  • Establish myself in society.

I was probably experiencing an “Identity Confusion”.  Wanting to assert myself, I was still ...

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