Berkowitz

Benjamin Berkowitz

Professor Stratton

Theology of Marriage and Family

4 March 2003

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        The idea of theology as it pertains to marriage and family is a relatively new one to me.    I first began thinking about it when I realized how in love with my girlfriend I really was.  I was raised in a Jewish family, and she was raised in a family which attended the Assemblies of God church in her town.  At the beginning of our relationship, religion was not given much thought because we were in the “honeymoon” stage, so to speak.  As the relationship developed, however, and our feeling became deeper and more intense, we began to recognize some of the obstacles that lay ahead.  I am not a very religious person.  While I do have many ties to spirituality, stemming from my experience in recovery from alcoholism and drug abuse, I do not have the faith that someone who “believes” in a religion has.  That alone has been very difficult to deal with in a relationship.  I have never really thought about HOW I think about marriage in relation to scripture, tradition, reason and experience.  I am beginning to understand why, for some people, it is important to form a theology of marriage and family and how these factors can play a large role in doing so.  

        Scripture has never been a significant part of my life, nor has it ever been of interest to me.  I was raised in a conservative Jewish family, but our religious affiliation was limited to attending synagogue on the high holidays, as well as occasionally on Friday nights for Shabbat.  I do, however, have a deep and loving connection to the State of Israel and the plight of all people connected with that situation.  From that standpoint, I see not only scripture, but organized religion as a whole, as doing far more harm than good.  This might be one of the reasons why I have always kept my religion at arms length.  I think that I have always been afraid that it might turn me into something that I never want to become.  By this, I mean someone who makes moral judgments regarding the life or lifestyle of another.  I see scripture in its present form as something from which most people cite in order to back up their arguments that their religion is better than others.  Although I do have opinions about scripture and its role in human existence, I cannot speak on how it has affected my theology of marriage and family simply because it has not played an important enough role in my life thus far.

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        My first hand experience of marriage and family has not been an extremely pleasant one.  My parents divorced when I was eleven, which caused an obvious disruption in my childhood.  Although, I was very upset about the divorce, I was able to adjust to the new lifestyle, and at times, I can remember actually enjoying having two homes.  The real blow that came to destroy my idea of what family was, occurred when I found out that my father had been having an affair since I was eight – three years before the divorce occurred.  The acquisition of this knowledge ...

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