until she knew more about herself and the world” (Mairs 109, Doing It the Hard Way). She believes that by her daughter going off to live in poverty and experiencing problems that would have never come up within her normal daily life she will be able to learn more about her self hence allowing for spiritual growth and allowing her to continue in life with a better sense of perspective in making the big life choices. ‘Because a difficult life is more complicated than an easy one, it offers opportunities for developing a greater range of response to experience: a true generosity of spirit’ (Mairs 114, Doing It the Hard Way). She went for the personal growth that carrying out difficult tasks stimulates (Mairs 109). She says that ‘you can use your hardships to augment your understanding of and appreciation for yourself and the world you dwell in’. Linking in with the point of spiritual growth Mairs her self also says in the same essay that the most valuable response she has developed is gratitude (115). Despite her illness she has learnt to appreciate the good things which have come from it, for example seeing her family blossom and stick together through adversity,
she says ‘I notice more details, I take more delight in them’ (Mairs 115), Similarly in the third essay ‘Good Enough Gifts’ she starts by talking about how she does not need material possessions to be satisfied in life i.e. keeping the same old Volvo for many years even though she can afford a new one, ‘I keep it because it says something, to me at least, about contentment’ (Mairs 118). ‘Because a difficult life is more complicated than an easy one, it offers opportunities for developing a greater range of response to experience: a true generosity of spirit. (Mairs 114, ‘Doing It the Hard Way’).
At the end of ‘Doing it the Hard Way’ she describes a moment of her sitting on the porch looking out at a view. Her ability to appreciate what is in front of her as appose to the negative side of things has lead her to her to be ‘happier than ever before ( Mairs 116). “That’s the joy of doing things the hard way” (Mairs 116).
One argument for the defense of living the hard life is the newfound creative energy that is generated through the hardships in life. If it was not for her MS would she still have become the success that she is today? Mairs states that of course ‘Ms is a very bad thing’ but since there is nothing anyone can do to make it go away she talks about the positives that come from it (Mairs 121, Good Enough Gifts).
Most of the books and essays that she writes and all the literary awards that she has won in her life stem from her writing about her experiences of living a hard life. If it were not for he having MS she may have never had the motivation to put forth these unique views on hardship on paper. If it not for her disabilities she may have not felt the need to challenge her self and accept an offer of a lectureship in the UCLA Writing program (Mairs 97, Challenge: An Exploration). ‘I’d simply have to do it and watch what happened’ (Mairs 98). Similar to Her daughter Anne’s work in the peace corps, living in poverty gave her the chance to experience the lives of others directly and help them meet their own needs, not the needs some ideologue might believe the ought to feel (Mairs 109, Doing It the Hard Way).
Another important defense for living a life of hardship that comes from these three essays is that of triumph over adversity; the concept of getting a real sense of satisfaction and achievement from doing something the hard way. In Challenge: An
Exploration she decided to travel cross country on her own after her partner was not able to accompany her. A feat that although she knew would not be easy due to her physical disabilities, she went anyways to try and prove to herself that she was capable. She manages to reach her new residence and says that she felt ‘Foolish with elation’ and that she was pleased with herself for making the trip on her own because she found out a strength in herself that she had previously not known was in her. ‘Anyone who can accomplish such feats – and the many more that disability demands – will be a saint indeed.’ This idea of triumph over adversity comes up again in her daughter’s trip to western Zaïre in ‘Doing it the Hard Way’. Mairs says ‘When I hear excitement and satisfaction in the tone of her letters, I find myself thinking, “At last she’s found something hard enough for her”. Her daughter shuns the easy life available to her of ‘big paychecks, condos and BMW’s’ (Mairs 109) so that she can get true satisfaction from doing something difficult. Mairs also shows in ‘Good Enough Gifts’ that her family as a whole show triumphs over adversity through her own life challenges. “Maybe it isn’t so terrible to have to learn how to scrub cooked-on egg out of a skillet or when to stir sherry into a Newburg sauce or whether you ought to wash your jeans in hot water with your white crew socks” (130). Mairs’ children have been able to learn from an early age how to do things for themselves which is an important aspect of growing up. Something they may not have been able
to do had their mother been more physically able. Through her MS her family has bonded closer than most other families as they all have the common ground of having taking care of her.
Mairs shows in these essays how experiencing hardships in life can lead to spiritual growth and learning many virtuous attributes like patience, tolerance, and gratitude. Although she acknowledges that her disease is not a pleasant thing to have she definitely appreciates what she has learnt through strife and how achieving successes over adversity is far more satisfactory then going through life with out facing any difficulties or suffering. People can choose how to respond to the “gift” of a difficult life (Mairs 110, ‘Doing it the Hard Way’).
Works Cited
Mairs, Nancy. “Challenge” An exploration”. Carnal Acts. Boston Mass: Beacon Press, 1996. 97-105
Mairs, Nancy. “Doing it the Hard Way”. Carnal Acts. Boston Mass: Beacon Press, 1996. 107-116
Mairs, Nancy. “Good Enough Gifts”. Carnal Acts. Boston Mass: Beacon Press, 1996. 117-133