Richard M Currie                 Certificate in Counselling Theory - Essay

The 17th century metaphysical poet John Donne penned the immortal lines: “No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe” (sic) (Microsoft Corporation 1998). These words capture eloquently the fact that human existence, almost without exception, involves interaction with another. And in that interaction, a relationship exists. Relationships begin and relationships end. The relationship may be enjoyed, relished, celebrated, or simply endured. When a relationship ends, there may be relief, acceptance, even joy. But for many, the ending of a relationship is not what was wanted by at least one of the people involved. A break-up may signal regret, resentment, guilt, anger, dismay or distress for that person. In such circumstances, they may struggle to resolve their inner conflict and ultimately seek the help of a professional counsellor. It is such un-satisfactory relationship endings that will be considered in this essay. With this in mind, the theoretical concepts of two approaches to counselling will be explored: the humanistic form of counselling known as Gestalt, and the broadly behavioural approach known as Reality Therapy (RT). Particular reference will be made to the theoretical ideas about human development, the nature of the client/counsellor relationship, and the counselling process itself. When discussing the client, the feminine form will be used: the male form will be used for the counsellor.

Gestalt therapy has a number of theoretical ideas about human development, and these theories underpin counselling practice. Firstly, humans are considered as whole, rather than made up of discrete parts. This means, “Man is … a body, emotions, thoughts, sensations, and perceptions, all of which function interrelatedly” (sic), (Passons 1975 p14). Individuals have personal responsibility for determining their own behaviour (The Gestalt Therapy Page 2001) and need to achieve awareness of all aspects of their being in order to live effectively. This awareness includes what they are thinking, feeling and doing. Lack of insight leads to many human dilemmas. Failure to achieve full awareness can result in what is known as “unfinished business”, where some event in the individual’s past was not resolved to their satisfaction (Clarkson 1989). Unfinished business can lead to a variety of unexpressed feelings and tensions, which can be manifest in many verbal and non-verbal ways, indicating blocked energy. Fritz Perls (the founder of Gestalt therapy) says that of all the unexpressed feelings, resentment is the worst and most frequent (Corey 1996, p227). Rather than face and resolve unfinished business, people are often resistant, and avoid difficult issues. This could be because they catastrophise about the consequences of fully experiencing the associated uncomfortable and painful emotions. With the example of relationship ending, the client’s pain might relate to the prospect of facing life on her own. It may be that when the relationship ended, she was not able to express all the associated feelings and emotions. She may have felt unable to express her thoughts, or may not have been afforded the opportunity to do so.

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In contrast, RT is based on (and has grown out of) a conceptual theory known as “Choice Theory”, devised by William Glasser. This theory contends that we all make choices in life as we attempt to satisfy certain basic needs (William Glasser Institute Ireland (WGII) 2001). In this way, our behaviour has purpose – that of satisfying our needs (which we perceive as “wants”). These 5 needs are identified as: Power; Love and Belonging; Freedom; Fun; Survival (Brickell and Wubbolding 2000; Rogha 2001a). The behaviour that we choose in order to meet those needs has four components. They are: ...

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