The connection between Mare and Clodagh, although physically short remains psychologically strong throughout the rest of Clodagh’s life. Since the cause of Mare’s respiratory problems had been unknown to Clodagh, she had assumed that it was her fault for ‘stealing’ part of Mare during birth. Clodagh considered herself inferior to Mare, as to become equal with her sister in taking the blame, often referring to Mare as “My Original” and “My beloved” (35). During their short childhood, Mare and Clodagh develop closely with each other despite the mother, and they learn from and share experiences, such as learning to play the piano; which for Mare occurs at an almost instinctual level. Moreover, later in her life Clodagh, to continuously revive her memory of Mare, spends much of her time learning the piano. The bond displayed by both Mare and Clodagh relates directly to the ‘Interdependent Identity’ bond described by Barbara Klein in Not All Twins Are Alike. Klein describes this bond as “twins who share an interdependent bond are totally accepting of each other. These twins understand each other’s limitations or differences from each other” (68). It further relates directly to Clodagh in that “these twins are highly dependent on each other for emotional support because they have never developed a relationship to their mother or father” (69) and “their twin is the most trusted person in their life” (69). Clodagh feels the need to interact with Mare as both a sisterly relation, as well as to replace what she has missed with her mother. Although close to Mare’s end she wishes to be alone, the time sisters did spend together was spent building a lasting bond and relationship that would carry on in Clodagh as a perpetual grief for her dead sister.
Clodagh’s separation from her mother and sister occur all too fast, leaving many questions unanswered, and relationships unfulfilled. The night before Mare died, she wanted to distance herself from Clodagh; she had already angered her mother and become distant from her, for the first time. Only afterwards did Clodagh realize that, “It was only me now holding her like a weight to the earth” (47), again as if to blame herself for Mare not being able to die without burden. On the night that Mare had died, both Agatha and Clodagh felt an awkward nervousness that signaled Mare’s end, and in that moment Agatha took a sudden interest in Clodagh and attempted to remove her from the situation by offering her a trinket. During Mare’s funeral, Clodagh had seen how her mother was not paying attention to the service, which drew her to anger as “a flash of anger broke in me and I shook, holding back the urge to rush at her, to hit her with my fists” (51). In relation to the development of the identity of twins Barbara Schave in Identity and Intimacy in Twins states “twins can be seen as having two primary forces affecting the development of their identity, the parents and the twin” (111), which directly relates to Clodagh and who she relates to during these tragic events. Although Clodagh’s parting from her mother occurred because of her suicide, she never emotionally separates from what had intrigued her the most. The nature of her mother, was the only detail that she had held onto, being a ‘tinker’ or nomadic collector of wares and trinkets, as if she was not meant for a settled life style either, and to carry on where her mother had left off.
The psychological effects of the death and separation from the mother and twin sister for Clodagh overwhelms her. Without her mother or sister, she must return to her aunts, who are her only surviving relatives, who in turn send her to a convent for an education. The memory of Mare stays with Clodagh, and when she arrives at the convent she is torn over the memories of her last night, when she remembers “how I’d abandoned her the night before she’d died, to look at the little glass dog with my mother. I was overcome by the pain that must have caused her, and the loss of her opened in me like a fresh wound” (130). For Clodagh, her sister’s death was as if a part of her had died, and as a way to continue her connection with Mare, she begins to learn piano in the convent. In Clodagh’s case, her behavior directly resembles Klein’s assertion on the loss of a twin that states:
“The loss of a twin is a devastating experience for the surviving twin, who can feel like part of herself has also been lost. It is extremely difficult to overcome this type of loss, which affects the personality structure of the surviving twin for the rest of her life. The surviving twin endures the loss of the co-twin by holding on to the memories of their relationship and by not psychologically betraying the lost twin in her thoughts”
Therefore, throughout her life Clodagh becomes haunted by the presence of Mare. As for Agatha, Clodagh’s level of intrigue and lack of understanding and relation to her, draws her to become what she had not been able to know, and experience for herself what her mother had been like when she chooses to live the life of a ‘tinker’. With no one for Clodagh to relate to or identify with, she attempts to connect with people she can recognize as being similar to herself.
Clodagh who had had the opportunity to utilize her musical talents to further her education, and live a settled life, chose to follow what she felt would answer her questions, and to satisfy her when she decided to live as her mother had. During the time she lives as a ‘tinker’ she meets a man she had seen around her town, and become somewhat attached to. When she finally catches up to him, they in turn stay with each other and develop a very intimate relationship, however Clodagh hides her name from the man giving him Mare’s name instead. Their relationship suffers greatly when Clodagh becomes pregnant, and the man that she had been seeing was in fact her true father. Instead of parting with the man, she desires to be with him in an attempt to hold on to the one person she has been able to identify and relate with. Ultimately, Clodagh’s loss of her mother and sister, affect her deeply. With not many people to concrete a relation with, she attempts to find the slightest of links between her and anyone similar to herself. When Clodagh leaves her father to go back to her aunts’ she breaks the connection for her child’s sake, and returns to the same point her mother began at.
Works Cited
Ainslie, Ricardo. The Psychology of Twinship. New Jersey: Aronson, 1997.
Klein, Barbara. Not All Twins are Alike. Westport: Praeger, 2003.
McBride, Regina. The Nature of Water and Air. New York: Scribner, 2001.
Schave, Barbara. Identity and Intimacy in Twins. New York: Praeger, 1983.
Works Referenced
Loehlin, John, and Nichols, Robert. Heredity, Enviroment, & Personality: A Study of 850 Sets of Twins. UP Texas, 1976.
Piontelli, Alessandra. Twins: From Fetus to Childhood. New York: Routledge, 2002.
