The Silent Fight

        There are times when the art of communication is extremely important, and the consequences of not expressing yourself accurately can cost you someone you love.  I have a huge problem of not communicating very well.  It usually does not affect me daily, but when conflict arises I tend to shut down.  There are major problems with the “shut down” method.  Once I shut down, I do not voice my opinions or feeling on the issue at hand.  Another dilemma I find myself in is speaking without thinking through the thought.  I just blurt out whatever is on the tip of my tongue and ignore all reason.  The time I find this most detrimental is when communicating with my husband during conflict.    We have devised a plan to help with our lack of good communication skills.  Due to the problems we have communicating, we have decided to communicate through writing when tensions flare up.  

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        We first noticed we had a problem with communication when a simple discussion would turn into an hour argument.  Take for example the money issue.  We would set aside time to talk about our finances or lack of, and some how it would turn into a finger pointing argument.  After the dispute was over we could look back and see exactly how it transpired.  My husband is very direct.  He tells it like it is all the time.  I would take his directness as accusations against me and in return become very defensive.  I would try to say how it ...

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