Discuss your strengths and weaknesses in your interpersonal skill using the list of human relations skills on p. 19-20 of the text.

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  1. Discuss your strengths and weaknesses in your interpersonal skill using the list of human relations skills on p. 19-20 of the text.

When I went through the list of human relations skills, I found that I was rating myself high on all of them.  I stopped at the end and decided I must go back and rate myself again.  It’s funny how when I went through them slowly I had a different perspective on myself.  Instead of viewing them as how I see myself, I began to see them as if someone else was rating me.  Sometimes, I can be a very stubborn person and do not take confrontation very well.  When someone confronts me, I almost always take it personally.  Also, when a person tries to tell me that my behavior needs to change or if I make a choice about a certain lifestyle and I’m told it is wrong, I immediately take offense.  So, I consider myself weak in confrontation and self-exploration.  On the other hand, in the category of feelings and emotions, I rated myself high because I feel that I’m very in touch with my emotions.  But, I do find that in my personal relationships, I use my emotions to express how I feel and sometimes people don’t respond well to that, because sometimes I do “inflict” my emotions on others.  So, I’m half way there in that category.  

In my relationships I don’t act, I react.  I also am not very good at dealing openly with my relationships with others.  This has caused me a lot of problems because if I would have just dealt with problems as they came up, I would have avoided much pain in my life.  For example, my ex-husband was very verbally abusive with me and constantly put me down.  First, I never listened to anyone when they told me that marrying him would be a mistake.  I thought they were either jealous or just didn’t understand me.  Once we got married I never confronted him about how he was making me feel.  Instead, I would just run away from the problem by traveling and hiding from him.  But, I couldn’t hide for too long because I would eventually come home and see him and the abuse would start again.   In my present relationship with my fiancée, I have noticed that I inflict my emotions on him a lot.  I am a very emotional person and ever since my divorce I decided not to hide my feelings and always express them out loud.  Sometimes, this can be overwhelming for someone to put up with.  I like that I am able to express my feelings openly to my fiancée but when I am upset about something in my past I need to learn not to take them out on him.  

The first three categories, I rated myself a 6 because I feel that I am pretty strong in these areas.  I have always been a good listener and it comes easy for me to empathize with others.  I actively support others even when I do not approve with what they are doing.  Others usually know where I stand and I rarely hide behind roles or facades.  I think that going through an abusive relationship and growing up so fast, has made me understand people better.  I know how stubborn I was and others can be that way too.  Sometimes, people just want someone to understand them and be there regardless if you agree with them or not.  When I was going through my problems and even now in my present situation, I just want someone to see the world through my eyes and respect and support me.  

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At the beginning of this exercise, I flew through these categories and gave myself high ratings.  I was able to go back and reflect on how I really am and what I need to work on.  I need to start doing that in life.  Going back and reflecting on what I am doing and how I am treating others.  This exercise has taught me to stop and think before I judge another person and to look at how I deal with my own insecurities.  I need to let others give me feedback instead of always taking things so personally. ...

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