If it is necessary for me to take the official scholars’ bus service, then I often regret it, both during the journey, and upon arrival to the school. Firstly, I don’t particularly enjoy being in the company of the “delinquents” who are always on the vehicle (yes, that’s stereotypical – but I think it applies to an overwhelming proportion of pupils at the educational establishment, which happens to be situated in a town called “Wrekenton”…). Secondly, the bus departs at around 8:30 – by which time I’d usually be in the school grounds, and in the library, if it happens to be open. When the bus eventually arrives at the school gates, it’s around 8:45, and there is hardly any time left to bother with entering the Resource Centre (henceforth known as the library), and grabbing a computer.
On the journey, whatever bus it happens to be, I typically feel tired – sometimes I’m still just as drowsy as when I woke. If that is the case, the penetrating glare of the sunlight through the windows can be unbearable, and I have to try hard to resist the urge to close my eyes and “drift off”. I also feel anxiety, combined with that feeling of stupidity that comes from thoughts such as “Was that homework really worth staying up ’til three in the morning for? Oh why can’t I just get it out of the way earlier for a change…?”
Not to mention the element of dread in my mind – the dread of knowing that I am going to face the onslaught from certain pupils of all ages, in yet another day at the school. I’ve always been a sort of ‘loner’ in the social hierarchy…
It’s 8:30 in the morning, and if I have managed to catch the 725 bus, I am usually entering through the main gates at this time – sometimes earlier. Whatever adrenaline my tired body can muster has taken over by now, effectively keeping my eyelids open.
Upon arrival, I automatically head for the library, as stated earlier. I used to use this early morning period, which lasts up to about half an hour, to complete homework which was due in for that same day (or at least I tried to – amidst frantic scribbling of my fastest - and therefore the most unintelligible handwriting); but now I tend to always finish the work at least the night/morning beforehand, usually during the late stunts that I somehow manage to pull off, whilst still receiving good marks.
This is largely due to library’s now unpredictable nature, and the uncanny coincidences which seem to be relentless acts of fate; such as, for example, those mornings when I have anxiously rushed to the school from the bus stop, which is about a five minute walk away at normal pace, only to find the dreaded handwritten notice attached to either the outer or the inner door, reading: “CLOSED – STAFF PHOTOCOPYING ONLY,” in seemingly the most rushed print…
Fortunately, however, for me as well as many others I know, the librarian has improved the erratic schedule, which was adopted early last year, and now its “opening hours” seem to be improving, at least, during this first term. One thing that I still find frustrating, though, is the “one day per week, per year group” system – sometimes it is annoying having to wait until Tuesday, for my break time infusion of the technology I crave. I wonder if I should pry myself away from computers, for at least a day…
Unlike the attitude so expressively promoted by most of the other pupils I know, I usually like school (with a few exceptions of course). Despite however much I am isolated whilst at home, it is one of the small collection of everyday matters, that actually force me to leave my home. Again, this is another example of how my “obsession” with computers and the Internet affects my lifestyle.
Also, I have what I believe to be a passion and understanding for most subjects, especially the core Science, Maths, and to some extent, English (when I overcome my perpetual laziness, and work to my full potential in the subjects…). I would also add Information Technology to the list of “favourite subjects” – if only I wasn’t so annoyingly ahead of most of the pupils (and some of the teachers, I believe), in most areas. It seems absurd and pointless for me to be taught like the “lesser crowd”. Or maybe I’m just a little arrogant…
I think of myself as quite well versed, academically; yet when it comes to social skills, I tend to be at a loss. This is the one area where I fully admit it – I need some major improvements. Actually, that may be exaggerated a little, in defence – although I definitely lack social confidence. As a result, I am experienced to a feeling of loneliness and isolation, in some way like a small vessel cast adrift in a rough sea, with strong, howling winds providing the only company.
There aren’t many people who I would call “friends” at school, although there is this group of pupils in my year, which I usually talk with at break and lunchtimes. We are mostly alike, in the fact that a few of us have what we call “negative popularity” – lots of people know us, but that does not mean they all like us for who we are…
When I’m tired from a late night, which I am increasingly becoming used to, my stomach tends to start complaining near the first ten-minute break, due to my lack of energy. I always have a breakfast of cereal in the mornings, yet that alone mustn’t be substantial enough on those occasions. Whatever the cause is, I have tried to compensate by packing extra food in my lunch (I haven’t had dinner in the school canteens for over a year now, since an “unappetising” experience in year eight), but it is more or less suffice for my typical day at school.
At home, I spend a lot of time on my computer, usually on the Internet. I am not a person who “plays out” a lot, although I do have the occasional bout of fresh air. The few hours of the evening after school seem to flash by in a blur, and before I have the chance to realise it, it’s midnight, and I’m usually still hunched up in my swivel chair, finishing homework on my computer desk table…
I hope to be employed in the scientific or technology profession – or, even more ambitiously, I dream of founding my own company. Eventually, I dream of emigrating to the USA, as I feel that this country is not going to satisfy my career hopes – as much as I “hate” to admit it. If my dreams do come true, by a wild act of fate, then I will be providing my family with the generosity they deserve, after putting up with me, and living as a working class family for all those years!
