A Picture Of My Life
Over the years we had just grown apart. For many years we were best friends, then she was moved up a year, and we slowly parted.
I remember how scared I was on my first day at the school we went to. She was so nice to me, looked after me. We use to go out into the playground and play on all the apparatus. There was a climbing house, where you could climb round the outside. Olivia and I were the only people in the school who could climb on every section of the house. We were daredevils. We use to play games, like 'it', and 'stuck in the mud'. We used to be the Queens' at the '3 legged race'. At sports day, we would always cross the line together, we always sat next to each other in lessons and in lunch and we were constantly pairs in games.
In lunch I recall we were very naughty. We use to throw brussel sprouts at the teachers and at people we did not like. One day I was sitting next to her, and I was having a drink. She said the funniest thing and I spat my water everywhere. It was so funny we laughed for ages. She was always brighter than me, but I managed to keep up. I could not keep up for long though.
We used to cry when our parents took us away from each other at the end of the day.
We were dependent on each other. She moved up a year. She was just too clever. We slowly parted, as it was 'un cool' for her to talk to someone who was in the year below. After that she moved into my families' estate with her parents. How we loathed each other. Then soon we were best friends again. How funny things are.
I stayed at her house for hours, only returning to my house for bed. We watched videos, played games, rode our bikes, went riding, experimented with making different foods, and down to one of our favourite places, the church. We loved reading the names of the people who had died, finding out who was the oldest and who the youngest. Walking into the church how it's so beautiful. I can remember when we made a really disgusting thing. We put everything she had in the house in a bowl and we ate it. I was sick for days. It was the first time I was really ill, and I remember lying in bed one morning. My mum came upstairs and gave me a letter I had just received. I opened it and considered what it could have been. It said I had won a competition. I was so happy because I had never won one before.
When her parents were not at home, which was very often, we used to go up to my house to get a Sunday lunch that my mum had cooked. When we were having quests over, she was always there, at New Year, Christmas, always. We had so much fun. We had a couple of drinks and laughed non-stop.
Then again she just grew up even more. I left the school we were both at, and only saw her at weekends if I was lucky.
Again she grew up, and went to lots of parties, drank, ...
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When her parents were not at home, which was very often, we used to go up to my house to get a Sunday lunch that my mum had cooked. When we were having quests over, she was always there, at New Year, Christmas, always. We had so much fun. We had a couple of drinks and laughed non-stop.
Then again she just grew up even more. I left the school we were both at, and only saw her at weekends if I was lucky.
Again she grew up, and went to lots of parties, drank, and had endless boyfriends. Went through all the problems most girls go through, anorexia and bulimia. I have always blamed myself for never being there to help her. She's one of the prettiest people, and yet so stupid. Why would someone who is pretty and has a perfect figure want to do something that kills you inside and makes you somebody you're not? How I wish she had come to me, we could have talked; I could have tried to sort her problems out. If only I could have known sooner.
Her family went though their problems, the people who I had always respected and always thought of them as the most amazing, kind, generous, wonderful, loving people, were getting a divorce. How her life must have turned upside down. I use to ask her how she was feeling, but over and over she replied with the same answer, that she did not mind. She was never really that close to her parents but it must be odd. She saw them every night, every morning, and some weekends.
Then the unbelievable happened. Olivia's mum left. Then she and her dad left, and I could do nothing. I was on the way back form school for the weekend, and my mum told me. As I got home, I ran down to their house, no one was there. I cried until my eyes hurt so much. How I cried for them not to leave. The tears I have shed for that family would flood the World. I had to return to school once more. I could not even say goodbye.
When I next came home, I stood outside their house and imagined them still living there the warm loving feeling was still there as I walked to the door, I turned the stiff handle only to find the door locked. I looked round to find the biggest window and climbed through. Once inside the house I slowly went around the house, re-living the memories of the time that we use to laugh and shout to our heart's content. I walked up the stairs and into her old bedroom. I sat there for a few hours, just thinking of all the things we have done together, the jokes we shared, the tears we shed and the laughs we laughed. Then I adventured into the garden, and lay on the hammock that they had not taken with them. Crying some more.
How my safe world just turned upside down. I always had it there as a cushion to fall back on, but now I only have hell.
While all this commotion was going on at home, I also had to think about my schoolwork. This was not good, and all the teachers hated me. I could not concentrate in class as I had never before, and I had to learn the hard way that you were not allowed to argue with teachers. I cried everyday for her, I went though a depression. I dwelled on the past and could not look for the future. All this had happened over a course of twelve years. I had not lived my life. I had messed around at school. I had failed at everything. I was determined that I could never be good at anything, I never had any confidence in what I was doing. I had turned to the army, hockey or riding as a shell to hide behind. With hockey I used to hit the ball as hard as I could, or think of something that had been eating away at me and hit the ball and it would disappear. The Army was a dream, but I had made it so realistic it I had begun to scare me. It was like an imaginary friend. This was for my source of stress relief. I just wanted a punch bag so I could have beaten it to lose the anger I possessed. I just had this anger that can be switched on so quickly, and I could not control it. I always thought that I would be good in this platoon, or that regiment. I made up a life around me so I could block out the bad. I had a shell around me, and no one could have entered. I was like a bomb. If anyone tried to be nice to me or get inside my head I would have gone mental. Then there was a twinkle of light at the end of the tunnel. One day it just appeared.
Pati wondered into the common room and saw me and said "Rexy you're captain!" Tears welled up in my eyes and my heart began to pound. I slowly turned; light headed with an ecstasy of emotions I had never felt before. My eyes had met hers and hers with mine. "Are you serious?" A shake started up like a Porsche 911 Carrera 4S Cabriolet in my hand. She nodded her head like a lame horse. I stood up and looked at the smile on her face, and I wondered why she would lie to me about something that meant so very much to me.
A teardrop slipped from my eye and down my face then splashed like a balloon of water at my feet. I ran to her, hugged her with all the passion I possess in about eleven seconds, and ran to the door ecstatic with emotions.
I sprinted to the front door of main school, my heart pounded. I heaved open the heavy door and speeded up once more, the sound of squeaking rubber on a polished floor, come back to me as it was just yesterday. The games board. The place I had worshiped. "Alex Elliot (Capt.)" I bounced around like a headless chicken.
I ran back to the house and got two more 'friends' and dragged them back to main school. I pranced up to the board. They looked and congratulated me and I congratulated them, as they were in the team as well. I tottered back to the house with them, still not sure of what to think or do. Outside I remember going mad, screaming and really crazy. Then "Get inside, what do you think you're doing?" We sprinted before she can see us.
I have never been given the honour of being captain and now the chance had arisen I'm going to keep the position and try my hardest in hockey forever. It had got to the stage where I had been playing hockey for years and I had never been captain. I felt that I was worthy of something.
People say "all you do is say three cheers for ......." but it's the fact that I'm finally thought of as being "good enough" for the title. I'm convinced that if you wanted something enough you could get it, and you could always achieve your goal. Its true, if you dream about something hard enough it will always come true.
With all the things that have gone on in my life, I hope I can keep a positive mind and let no negative thoughts come into my head. Even if I don't keep the captain position, I am over whelmed with joy that I have been.
How weird and wonderful life can be, or hopefully will be.
Alex Elliot
