I know that they had muscles like iron, compared to my twig like body and that they were much more agile then I was, but in the end we weren’t so different, were we?
I remember how I drastically feared them yet at the same time I could not help but feel admiration for these free boys, they were permitted to roam the world, whilst I would be in awe of their freedom.
I remember one day seeing a solitary mister across the road in the park, amazingly his hunchback like physique differed from mine, however we were both lonely strangers in this cruel world.
Every day I would see him eating his bread from his newspaper and drinking his water from the chained cup, all by himself.
Therefore one day I went to visit him. We talked for a while and he explained how he was alone as I reflected his conversation back at him. It felt warm having someone to talk to, someone who understands you and is in the same situation.
The meetings continued regularly and I started to get my confidence back as well and even make a friend that is until that day.
That one memory encapsulates my solitary and it was the beating and death of the hunchback in the park.
The day started as usual and i prepared myself to visit my companion. As I passed through the park gates I saw the bullies surround the old man, pushing him to the ground and relentlessly assaulting the poor fellow. Hopelessly he was unable to get up and just laid there idle on the ground unable to move a muscle. Simultaneously, the monstrous bullies pelted away at the defenseless man as he succumbed to their devastating blows. Each punch was now getting harder and faster, each one with a painful purpose.
I stood there helpless and wanting so much to help, but I could not convince my legs to move, so I watched on disheartened and afraid of what was to come.
The red blood trickled down the hunchbacks face and covered his body leaving him in a bath of blood. I wished for the wrathful boy’s assault to end and surprisingly it did. The man lay there still like a block of ice.
Dead.
The murderous boys ran away in high spirits. Did they have no remorse?
I stood there still, my whole body tingling as if it had been stung by a thousand bees. I didn’t even feel the tears pouring out of my eyes onto my cold cheek. Not once did I blink, I just stood there guilty of what had happened- why did I not help?
Eventually my legs caved in and I collapsed to the hard concrete ground. My only companion in this world was now gone.
I wished to be emancipated, freed from the blood and the memories of desolation. I wanted to vanquish the demons that took away my friend and bring light to the world. I wanted to be brave and hold back the tears, but the agony was too much for me to bear.
The only thing I could hold onto was my loneliness. I was alone and once again an outsider.
